Joint finances?

[Momto2boys973]

We don’t do halfsies either. We do have separate accounts because we find it easier. I’m in charge of our finances, so DH deposits his paycheck into my account after taking what’s needed for our sons’ tuitions and some personal spending money. I then pay our bills and put what’s left in a savings account. If I need to buy something for myself, I just do it.
If some major expense comes up we just see how much money we have in both accounts and pay with it. It’s not his money, it’s not my money, it’s our money.

I beg to differ. I think it could get real complicated real quick. What happens when one of the two doesn't HAVE half? Or what happens if one becomes ill and doesn't have the earning potential to even kick in half? I just think that when you get married, his money is your money. Your money is his money. And there's none of that "halfsy stuff." lol

Pretty much, yeah. I don't get the multiple question marks. It's really not complicated at all. Regular bills, we split them between us so that we both break about even, and big expenses, we literally each pay half. Usually, the way we logistically do it is one of us pays the full tag out of their accounts, and then we balance it out between ourselves privately. We tried having throwaway joint account for a while that we were supposed to use for things like home expenses and family vacations and stuff, but frankly we just found it annoying and more of a hassle than we cared for, so we went back to this.

Help me understand how it works when couples have separate finances. What happens when you need a new roof? You each pay half???

[MonarchMom]

I'm always curious about how the separate finances will work at retirement time. Will you each draw down from your separate accounts and continue to split bills? What if you want to travel? Do you only go to a place both of you can afford paying half each?

[Anonymous 4]

If I'm understanding you correctly, your money is your money and his money is his money. And it sounds like this has worked well for you both.

I believe that this could definitely work and is working for many couples. I also believe that a million different circumstances could make this get real complicated real quick. That's just my opinion.

That's your opinion. Mine is pretty much diametrically different, lol. I absolutely do not believe in "our money". That doesn't exist. His money is not my money, and my money is certainly not his money. I do not want and would never spend anything I didn't earn, and I prefer to be in full and exclusive control of what I did earn. Helps me sleep at night, and certainly helps us never fight about money. We've been married for 6 years and while we have fought about things, money was not one of them.

I don't see what's there to get complicated at all. It's not a contract signed in blood, lol. And it is not arbitrary, either. It's a 50/50 split is because we make roughly the same salary at this time, and have been since we got married. If and when one or both of our incomes cchanged, in either direction, so would the split.

I beg to differ. I think it could get real complicated real quick. What happens when one of the two doesn't HAVE half? Or what happens if one becomes ill and doesn't have the earning potential to even kick in half? I just think that when you get married, his money is your money. Your money is his money. And there's none of that "halfsy stuff." lol

Pretty much, yeah. I don't get the multiple question marks. It's really not complicated at all. Regular bills, we split them between us so that we both break about even, and big expenses, we literally each pay half. Usually, the way we logistically do it is one of us pays the full tag out of their accounts, and then we balance it out between ourselves privately. We tried having throwaway joint account for a while that we were supposed to use for things like home expenses and family vacations and stuff, but frankly we just found it annoying and more of a hassle than we cared for, so we went back to this.

[Anonymous 4]

I get the separate account thing. I don't see any harm in that at all. I just so happen to believe in your last statement. It's not his/my money...It's our money. We both contribute to the pool of money/bills. But we don't keep track of who/how much the other contributes.

We don’t do halfsies either. We do have separate accounts because we find it easier. I’m in charge of our finances, so DH deposits his paycheck into my account after taking what’s needed for our sons’ tuitions and some personal spending money. I then pay our bills and put what’s left in a savings account. If I need to buy something for myself, I just do it.
If some major expense comes up we just see how much money we have in both accounts and pay with it. It’s not his money, it’s not my money, it’s our money.

I beg to differ. I think it could get real complicated real quick. What happens when one of the two doesn't HAVE half? Or what happens if one becomes ill and doesn't have the earning potential to even kick in half? I just think that when you get married, his money is your money. Your money is his money. And there's none of that "halfsy stuff." lol

Pretty much, yeah. I don't get the multiple question marks. It's really not complicated at all. Regular bills, we split them between us so that we both break about even, and big expenses, we literally each pay half. Usually, the way we logistically do it is one of us pays the full tag out of their accounts, and then we balance it out between ourselves privately. We tried having throwaway joint account for a while that we were supposed to use for things like home expenses and family vacations and stuff, but frankly we just found it annoying and more of a hassle than we cared for, so we went back to this.

[Anonymous 8]

I'm always curious about how the separate finances will work at retirement time. Will you each draw down from your separate accounts and continue to split bills? What if you want to travel? Do you only go to a place both of you can afford paying half each?

I don't know how other couples work it out, but for us we don't break all finances in half but rather break up who is responsible for what. For example, my husband pays for household expenses, kid's tuition, and vacations. I pay for our rental property, home mortgage, general discretionary expenses, and as I have my own business, I reinvest leftover in that. My husband is retired so is on a fixed pension and those are the expenses that he is comfortable covering. I'm comfortable with what I cover. If there is an unplanned expense (new roof), we work together to see who can pitch in what to cover the cost. Basically, needs we divvy up, wants we pay for ourselves.

[Fullxbusymom]

Joint accounts as soon as we moved in together. We weren't even married, I would never be with someone that wouldn't do joint.

[Mommabearof2]

We opened joint accounts before we got married and have had them now for 31 years. His money and my money is our money. Both of our checks are direct deposited and then I handle all the bill paying and moving money into other savings account.