My confession

[Quorra2.0]

I can’t even begin to fathom what your childhood must have been like to have such strong feelings but my heart hurts for you knowing it must have been really bad.

I won’t pretend to think I have advice to help you through this. I will say, I hope you are able to heal and find yourself indifferent to her. The day you discover you are truly indifferent about her, that’s the day you will know you are completely free of her.

[Anonymous 1]

I can’t even begin to fathom what your childhood must have been like to have such strong feelings but my heart hurts for you knowing it must have been really bad.

I won’t pretend to think I have advice to help you through this. I will say, I hope you are able to heal and find yourself indifferent to her. The day you discover you are truly indifferent about her, that’s the day you will know you are completely free of her.

Thank you in that I know that's what I need to do it's just a hard reality that I was completely free and I hope to get back there again I know it's just a set back but my spirit feels a bit broken and I've never had to fix that before. Let's just say my childhood was horrific when I got to big to abuse she moved on to mentally and emotionally abusing me which broke me but after yesterday finally finding the courage to face her and tell her I was completely humiliated when she pretty much never cared and still doesnt. She denies all of it which I blame the alchohol and the fact shes a narcissist asshole ...

[Anonymous 7]

This sounds familiar.
Red, is this you, girl?

Not red but I hope shes doing okay

Oh, sorry but that woman was NEVER okay.
Her therapist is now seeing a therapist.

[Anonymous 1]

This sounds familiar.
Red, is this you, girl?

Not red but I hope shes doing okay

Oh, sorry but that woman was NEVER okay.
Her therapist is now seeing a therapist.

That's okay ...that's awful :/

[Anonymous 3]

Take a DEEP BREATH. And then, as you exhale, blow HER away.

And tomorrow, take another DEEP BREATH. Every time you take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are SUCKING IN HAPPINESS. And as you exhale, feel the sadness and strife leave.

I cant believe out of the thousands of people that die every day shes not one of them..

I'm sorry.
I agree with the two pieces of advice, see a counselor and cut her out. You owe her nothing if she's abusive.

I've been in therapy its helped a lot
She just triggered every single trigger I had yesterday and I'm trying to get past it....

[Quorra2.0]

I can’t even begin to fathom what your childhood must have been like to have such strong feelings but my heart hurts for you knowing it must have been really bad.

I won’t pretend to think I have advice to help you through this. I will say, I hope you are able to heal and find yourself indifferent to her. The day you discover you are truly indifferent about her, that’s the day you will know you are completely free of her.

Thank you in that I know that's what I need to do it's just a hard reality that I was completely free and I hope to get back there again I know it's just a set back but my spirit feels a bit broken and I've never had to fix that before. Let's just say my childhood was horrific when I got to big to abuse she moved on to mentally and emotionally abusing me which broke me but after yesterday finally finding the courage to face her and tell her I was completely humiliated when she pretty much never cared and still doesnt. She denies all of it which I blame the alchohol and the fact shes a narcissist asshole ...

Words can be very damaging, bones heal faster than the damage that can be done with words. Sometimes ones head can know, but it takes far longer for the heart to feel it. It’ll come though, because you want it to and are working towards it. She’s your mom, her one job was to love you, care for you, and protect you. She failed, it’s her failure alone and no reflection on you.

[Anonymous 3]

Those of us who have been where you are at know exactly how you feel...that you wish your mom could just care about you. You just want her to be your mom.

She is your mom.
Even if she drinks every night and acts like a jerk nearly every time you see her, she does love you.
Even if she can't be what you want her to be, I promise you...she loves you.

Do you know, that holding a grudge against someone hurts you more than it hurts them? I'm sorry for whatever your mom did to you. I'm sorry you feel such hate towards your mom. That's a terrible thing.

As for wanting to pull the plug on her, while it may give you some satisfaction, those aren't good thoughts to have rolling around in your head. Every 60 seconds you spend upset, is a minute of happiness that you let be stolen from you.

You are absolutely right ....I'm going to screen shot this and when I feel upset I'll reread this...deep down the truth I wont ever admit to anyone the reason it hurts so bad that she can carelessly be so vile and toxic as cancer to me is that deep down I wish she was a mom that cared about me......but I've definitely found that in my mother in law she is a beautiful human being. Thoughtful kind has a heart of gold I joke and tell everyone I won the mother in law lottery lol

[Anonymous 1]

I can’t even begin to fathom what your childhood must have been like to have such strong feelings but my heart hurts for you knowing it must have been really bad.

I won’t pretend to think I have advice to help you through this. I will say, I hope you are able to heal and find yourself indifferent to her. The day you discover you are truly indifferent about her, that’s the day you will know you are completely free of her.

Thank you in that I know that's what I need to do it's just a hard reality that I was completely free and I hope to get back there again I know it's just a set back but my spirit feels a bit broken and I've never had to fix that before. Let's just say my childhood was horrific when I got to big to abuse she moved on to mentally and emotionally abusing me which broke me but after yesterday finally finding the courage to face her and tell her I was completely humiliated when she pretty much never cared and still doesnt. She denies all of it which I blame the alchohol and the fact shes a narcissist asshole ...

Words can be very damaging, bones heal faster than the damage that can be done with words. Sometimes ones head can know, but it takes far longer for the heart to feel it. It’ll come though, because you want it to and are working towards it. She’s your mom, her one job was to love you, care for you, and protect you. She failed, it’s her failure alone and no reflection on you.

Thank you that made me feel normal for the first time in the last four days. Thank you for lifting my spirits ....

[Anonymous 1]

Those of us who have been where you are at know exactly how you feel...that you wish your mom could just care about you. You just want her to be your mom.

She is your mom.
Even if she drinks every night and acts like a jerk nearly every time you see her, she does love you.
Even if she can't be what you want her to be, I promise you...she loves you.

Do you know, that holding a grudge against someone hurts you more than it hurts them? I'm sorry for whatever your mom did to you. I'm sorry you feel such hate towards your mom. That's a terrible thing.

As for wanting to pull the plug on her, while it may give you some satisfaction, those aren't good thoughts to have rolling around in your head. Every 60 seconds you spend upset, is a minute of happiness that you let be stolen from you.

You are absolutely right ....I'm going to screen shot this and when I feel upset I'll reread this...deep down the truth I wont ever admit to anyone the reason it hurts so bad that she can carelessly be so vile and toxic as cancer to me is that deep down I wish she was a mom that cared about me......but I've definitely found that in my mother in law she is a beautiful human being. Thoughtful kind has a heart of gold I joke and tell everyone I won the mother in law lottery lol

I know you're right even if I dont feel it or believe it now I'm sure she does ...its just the alchohol that turns her underlying conditions (I'm believe even though it's not proven personality disorder and extreme narcissism) to the extreme and she just cant control her actions.

[Anonymous 3]

You are most definitely correct. I'm sure the drink in her could most definitely bring out the worst in her.

Have you ever considered going to an AA meeting? Many years ago, I went to them for a while. They helped me.

I'm sorry for how you're feeling. And I'm sending vibes your way that you feel much better real soon.

Those of us who have been where you are at know exactly how you feel...that you wish your mom could just care about you. You just want her to be your mom.

She is your mom.
Even if she drinks every night and acts like a jerk nearly every time you see her, she does love you.
Even if she can't be what you want her to be, I promise you...she loves you.

You are absolutely right ....I'm going to screen shot this and when I feel upset I'll reread this...deep down the truth I wont ever admit to anyone the reason it hurts so bad that she can carelessly be so vile and toxic as cancer to me is that deep down I wish she was a mom that cared about me......but I've definitely found that in my mother in law she is a beautiful human being. Thoughtful kind has a heart of gold I joke and tell everyone I won the mother in law lottery lol

I know you're right even if I dont feel it or believe it now I'm sure she does ...its just the alchohol that turns her underlying conditions (I'm believe even though it's not proven personality disorder and extreme narcissism) to the extreme and she just cant control her actions.