We were invited again

[Deleted User 172]

He ended up staying at his mom's for Thanksgiving so we didn't have him with us.

What happened with him at Thanksgiving?

Yeah I would decline.
I don't go to my sisters house anymore because she's like that regarding my kids too. We won't go where we're not wanted. She can suck a rock.

[Anonymous 1]

What does your sister say/do? I mean, they are your kids so of course they would be with you!! does she ever come to your house?

He ended up staying at his mom's for Thanksgiving so we didn't have him with us.

What happened with him at Thanksgiving?

Yeah I would decline.
I don't go to my sisters house anymore because she's like that regarding my kids too. We won't go where we're not wanted. She can suck a rock.

[Anonymous 4]

okay, sure, it could be considered rude as well that i said we would have my nephew with us because he needed a ride to his dad's house and she lives near his dad but his dad would not be home for a few hours so my nephew would be with us. my inlaws tell us when they are coming for christmas day..they never ask what time they should be there..they tell us. i consider that to be rude and i don't like it, but do i say a rude comment to them about it? No! I complain to my DH about it, he does and says nothing and we go on about our merry way and treat his parents nicely and with respect. Just because someone does something that you (in general, not you specifically) thinks is rude doesn't equal a rude response back. My nephew is a kid that needed a ride and it's the holidays...she didn't need to act the way she did about it.

When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.

Inviting other people to other people's home without permission or knowlege is the very epotome of rudness

Doesnt mean it wasnt rude to bring an uninvited guest to someone else's house. Your nephew is your family. Not Sils family. If you want to put up with extremely rude behavior from your in laws then feel free to hang yourself from that cross and be the martyr. But it doesn't make SIL a bitch or anyrhing else by not accepting that same behavior from you.

If you want to attend the dinner then inform your sister way ahead of time that once again you are having your nephew as a guest and ask her permission to have him at HER house

[Olioxenfree]

I would ask if it's okay, as you should have done in the first place, and decide based on her answer.

[Beachbrat]

This is too much drama for the holidays. And honestly don't believe this at all. Who in their right mind would ask that kind of question? No one that's who. Let it go.

But in the event that it is true id accept and just show up. When i cook for a large number of people i always cook extra so it would never be an issue

[Anonymous 1]

I already said it could be considered rude. but what she said was DEFINITELY rude! i mean of course he will need to eat! he's not going to sit in another room while we eat or sit at the kitchen table and just watch us eat! that's why i know what she said was on purpose and passive aggressive. what I did (inviting nephew) was not on purpose to be rude and passive aggressive. didn't think it would be a big deal. i'm sure she knew it WOULD be a big deal to say do we have to feed him. and we brought leftovers for him to eat since she said that so she didn't have to do one extra thing for him to be there.

okay, sure, it could be considered rude as well that i said we would have my nephew with us because he needed a ride to his dad's house and she lives near his dad but his dad would not be home for a few hours so my nephew would be with us. my inlaws tell us when they are coming for christmas day..they never ask what time they should be there..they tell us. i consider that to be rude and i don't like it, but do i say a rude comment to them about it? No! I complain to my DH about it, he does and says nothing and we go on about our merry way and treat his parents nicely and with respect. Just because someone does something that you (in general, not you specifically) thinks is rude doesn't equal a rude response back. My nephew is a kid that needed a ride and it's the holidays...she didn't need to act the way she did about it.

Inviting other people to other people's home without permission or knowlege is the very epotome of rudness

Doesnt mean it wasnt rude to bring an uninvited guest to someone else's house. Your nephew is your family. Not Sils family. If you want to put up with extremely rude behavior from your in laws then feel free to hang yourself from that cross and be the martyr. But it doesn't make SIL a bitch or anyrhing else by not accepting that same behavior from you.

If you want to attend the dinner then inform your sister way ahead of time that once again you are having your nephew as a guest and ask her permission to have him at HER house

[Anonymous 1]

I wish it wasn't true but Sil said it. She has always been an uppity B but that really topped it.

This is too much drama for the holidays. And honestly don't believe this at all. Who in their right mind would ask that kind of question? No one that's who. Let it go.

But in the event that it is true id accept and just show up. When i cook for a large number of people i always cook extra so it would never be an issue

[Anonymous 1]

But I don't feel comfortable asking her from the way she responded last time so not sure what we will do.

I would ask if it's okay, as you should have done in the first place, and decide based on her answer.

[Olioxenfree]

But I don't feel comfortable asking her from the way she responded last time so not sure what we will do.

I would ask if it's okay, as you should have done in the first place, and decide based on her answer.

The way she responded last time was because you didn't ask. If you aren't going to act like an adult and ask, then you only have one real choice, don't go.

[Deleted User 172]

What does your sister say/do? I mean, they are your kids so of course they would be with you!! does she ever come to your house?

He ended up staying at his mom's for Thanksgiving so we didn't have him with us.

Yeah I would decline.
I don't go to my sisters house anymore because she's like that regarding my kids too. We won't go where we're not wanted. She can suck a rock.

Its a long story.
She's an evil bitch. Hahaha. For real though. Shes literally shoved my ODS out of the house and kicked him out permanantly dropping a glass in her kitchen. Amongst other less horrible things. At the time her neighborhood was still in development and there were predators like Bobcats. It was dark and I was outside already packing up the car to leave and she shoved him out the door and slammed it in his face. I took him back inside and she started screeching at us that he wasnt allowed in her house anymore.
I yelled back saying I'm not leaving my child outside by himself in the dark. We left right afterwards and haven't been back.

About a month ago she came over to my parents house (me and the boys are living there while im in school) with her son and her son immediately started talking shit about my YDS. I told him if he's gonna talk like that he can leave. Her son and mine are both 6 so it kinda pissed me off because he's not saying that because it's his own opinion but something he heard.

Anyway. She got all pissy that I yelled at him and my mom went off on her defending me by making points about all the shit she does to my kids. (Like shoving my ODS out of the house). She left and disappeared for a month.
Finally reappeared at my moms this last weekend and didn't say one word to any of us. She literally only talked to our dad and ignored me, both sons and my mom.

I would never ever allow her to hurt my sons again. We will not ever go over there again.
There are way too many people who love us that we can spend time with for me to worry about one person.

Oh and here's the kicker. She used to beg me to let my ODS live with her because "she's not gonna deal with his shit".

Sorry, it turned into a vent.