I see what you're saying, but I'd probably just go along as the OP did and just assume it's one more and family, so why would anyone object. No big deal.Smarties wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:56 pmAnonymous 1 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:30 pmIf it was the first thing SIL has ever done that seems rude, then maybe I could try to think she didn't mean it badly, but I know she did because she is a rude person in general. The "have to" part is rude. She could have said will he be eating with us? But if it was me, I wouldn't even say that...I would assume that and be fine with it. But we are 2 very different people and so I know I will never tell her that I am bringing my nephew again...if I decide we will go to their house and then something comes up with my nephew and he will be with us, I will ask her first and not assume she would be okay with it like I would be or we won't go.
My DH's aunt and uncle have a 30 something year old special needs child that lives on her own and has a job...she lives in an adult facility that helps special needs adults. Anyways, if his aunt and uncle were coming to our house for Christmas and they said they would have their daughter with them this year, I would say cool no problem! And I would assume she is eating with us because that's what you do. I barely know their DD but that's okay!Smarties wrote: ↑Wed Dec 04, 2019 5:46 pmI think you're making too much of your sister being rude to you. Im not even sure she was intentionally rude to you at all. You didn't ask if it was okay to bring along a teen boy to her house for the holidays. That's a big deal to some people. I think you need to extend an olive branch for some peace again between you.
If you want to go, I would ask if its okay if you bring him, and let her know how much time he would be there before his dad came and got him.
Honey, please don't take this the wrong way, but you don't come across well to me in your descriptions of various events. There are two sides to every story. You aren't owning your side of things at all. That makes me think you are probably more of a problem than you are willing to admit. If she's communicating to you what her boundaries are, start showing her that you respect them so she doesn't feel the need to reinforce them in ways you don't think are pleasant. Asking if your nephew can come is a good place to begin. Best of luck.
Maybe I'm wrong or maybe it's because I'm always hosting and planning the holidays and I'd never say no. My view might be distorted.