He Stole All The Presents

[Anonymous 1]

Kids will be kids.

Maybe you need to take his abilify.

Maybe

Might help you think more clearly. 9 year old don't need meds they need parents that have it together.

Lol ok

[Anonymous 1]

This is on you, honestly. I have a special needs kid with high impulse control. You did absolutely nothing but lay everything out for him. He would re-wrap as best as he could and still get 1 present. The rest he would take to a shelter. But nothing when you as a parent have a part in this? No.

I didn’t lay anything out for him I put them in places he doesn’t go and I never thought he would go because he’s afraid of the attic and dark spaces. How was I supposed to know he would crawl under my bed or the attic? 2 places that he would never go normally.

You underestimated him. They weren't locked up. It's not like he hasn't gone through your stuff before. Bet you he's gone through everything in the house many times over but was only caught a small handful.

Well at least I know all of his trauma is completely gone. I guess I’ll rent a storage unit next year.

[Anonymous 2]

Now, after reading some responses, yes, this is your fault

You KNOW he's got issues -- yet you chose to allow him to fail

WHY the hell didn't you think about the consequences of your own behavior, in putting gifts where he could get at them?

Be mad at yourself

His presents were mostly in the attic where he has always been afraid to go so no I didn’t put them where he could get at them. I never thought he would bother looking under my bed because it’s a platform bed with doors and again he’s afraid of dark places so again I didn’t think he would look there. Either way he knows better and after getting into trouble I thought he wouldn’t bother trying to find them again which is why I threw them in my closet which doesn’t have locks because there’s nothing of value in them besides some clothes and shoes. He has psychiatric issues because of something traumatic that happened when he was younger and has been afraid of just about anywhere dark since so I thought I chose pretty damn good spots. I’m still shocked he even went into the attic. I never thought he’d open everyone’s presents, I never thought he’d venture into the attic, I never thought he’d go under my bed. Now I know for next year and I’ll have to rent a storage unit or keep them at a family members house because I have no other spots where he doesn’t go. That doesn’t negate the fact that he knew better and he shouldn’t have done what he did so he’s getting clothes and books instead of the things he asked for.

do you honestly believe taking a mind altering drug is NOT going to alter his mind?

It sure gave him ability all right....

[LiveWhatULove]

Sorry, OP, But I agree.

I struggle to parent my high needs kid all the time. This week has been really tough. But this poster nailed the issue. You know his chronological age does not match his emotional age now that you have shared his mental/neuro health background. You did fail him.

But each day is a new day, so drop the anger, figure out the consequences while minimizing emotional strain it will cause at the holiday.

Good luck.

Now, after reading some responses, yes, this is your fault

You KNOW he's got issues -- yet you chose to allow him to fail

WHY the hell didn't you think about the consequences of your own behavior, in putting gifts where he could get at them?

Be mad at yourself

[Anonymous 1]

Sorry, OP, But I agree.

I struggle to parent my high needs kid all the time. This week has been really tough. But this poster nailed the issue. You know his chronological age does not match his emotional age now that you have shared his mental/neuro health background. You did fail him.

But each day is a new day, so drop the anger, figure out the consequences while minimizing emotional strain it will cause at the holiday.

Good luck.

Now, after reading some responses, yes, this is your fault

You KNOW he's got issues -- yet you chose to allow him to fail

WHY the hell didn't you think about the consequences of your own behavior, in putting gifts where he could get at them?

Be mad at yourself

He knows better he just doesn’t care his age matches he just has some trauma in his life. That’s no excuse for what he did and he knows that. He isn’t stuck with the mind of a toddler, he knows better and his consequences are now that he’s not getting the presents he wants instead he’ll get books and clothes. He isn’t high needs, he wasn’t born with a mental disorder, he knows what’s right and what’s wrong he just has no remorse for what he does and thinks he can do whatever he wants without consequence. That’s not how I am raising him and he’s not going to use his mental health to get out of things like this. He faced his trauma just by entering the attic and under my platform bed so he actually made a lot of progress right there. The one good thing is that he’s made huge steps so we can continue working on it but he’s still not getting his presents. Next year I’ll rent a storage unit.

[Anonymous 1]

Now, after reading some responses, yes, this is your fault

You KNOW he's got issues -- yet you chose to allow him to fail

WHY the hell didn't you think about the consequences of your own behavior, in putting gifts where he could get at them?

Be mad at yourself

His presents were mostly in the attic where he has always been afraid to go so no I didn’t put them where he could get at them. I never thought he would bother looking under my bed because it’s a platform bed with doors and again he’s afraid of dark places so again I didn’t think he would look there. Either way he knows better and after getting into trouble I thought he wouldn’t bother trying to find them again which is why I threw them in my closet which doesn’t have locks because there’s nothing of value in them besides some clothes and shoes. He has psychiatric issues because of something traumatic that happened when he was younger and has been afraid of just about anywhere dark since so I thought I chose pretty damn good spots. I’m still shocked he even went into the attic. I never thought he’d open everyone’s presents, I never thought he’d venture into the attic, I never thought he’d go under my bed. Now I know for next year and I’ll have to rent a storage unit or keep them at a family members house because I have no other spots where he doesn’t go. That doesn’t negate the fact that he knew better and he shouldn’t have done what he did so he’s getting clothes and books instead of the things he asked for.

do you honestly believe taking a mind altering drug is NOT going to alter his mind?

It sure gave him ability all right....

Yes, for the first time last night. Before that he wouldn’t get near it. I really need to learn how to predict the future thanks for letting me know.

[Deleted User 638]

Sorry, OP, But I agree.

I struggle to parent my high needs kid all the time. This week has been really tough. But this poster nailed the issue. You know his chronological age does not match his emotional age now that you have shared his mental/neuro health background. You did fail him.

But each day is a new day, so drop the anger, figure out the consequences while minimizing emotional strain it will cause at the holiday.

Good luck.

Now, after reading some responses, yes, this is your fault

You KNOW he's got issues -- yet you chose to allow him to fail

WHY the hell didn't you think about the consequences of your own behavior, in putting gifts where he could get at them?

Be mad at yourself

He knows better he just doesn’t care his age matches he just has some trauma in his life. That’s no excuse for what he did and he knows that. He isn’t stuck with the mind of a toddler, he knows better and his consequences are now that he’s not getting the presents he wants instead he’ll get books and clothes. He isn’t high needs, he wasn’t born with a mental disorder, he knows what’s right and what’s wrong he just has no remorse for what he does and thinks he can do whatever he wants without consequence. That’s not how I am raising him and he’s not going to use his mental health to get out of things like this. He faced his trauma just by entering the attic and under my platform bed so he actually made a lot of progress right there. The one good thing is that he’s made huge steps so we can continue working on it but he’s still not getting his presents. Next year I’ll rent a storage unit.

It would be more effective if you gave him a doable way of earning his presents back with good behavior. All you're going to do is fuel his anger if he doesn't have a chance to redeem himself. Christmas for him will always be associated with anger if you carry through with your plan.

Yes, he stole the presents of others, but even thieves in prison get a chance at parole because of good behavior. Give your son a chance to earn his gifts back. Find ways to catch him being good instead of focusing on his bad behavior.

[LiveWhatULove]

Sorry, OP, But I agree.

I struggle to parent my high needs kid all the time. This week has been really tough. But this poster nailed the issue. You know his chronological age does not match his emotional age now that you have shared his mental/neuro health background. You did fail him.

But each day is a new day, so drop the anger, figure out the consequences while minimizing emotional strain it will cause at the holiday.

Good luck.

Now, after reading some responses, yes, this is your fault

You KNOW he's got issues -- yet you chose to allow him to fail

WHY the hell didn't you think about the consequences of your own behavior, in putting gifts where he could get at them?

Be mad at yourself

He knows better he just doesn’t care his age matches he just has some trauma in his life. That’s no excuse for what he did and he knows that. He isn’t stuck with the mind of a toddler, he knows better and his consequences are now that he’s not getting the presents he wants instead he’ll get books and clothes. He isn’t high needs, he wasn’t born with a mental disorder, he knows what’s right and what’s wrong he just has no remorse for what he does and thinks he can do whatever he wants without consequence. That’s not how I am raising him and he’s not going to use his mental health to get out of things like this. He faced his trauma just by entering the attic and under my platform bed so he actually made a lot of progress right there. The one good thing is that he’s made huge steps so we can continue working on it but he’s still not getting his presents. Next year I’ll rent a storage unit.

Well, you are his parent, so you know him best.

He’s on an major antipsychotic, typically as there are significant side effect risks for that in school age children, it’s not something they hand out for a minor emotional trauma Or if they did, most parents would raise an eyebrow. It typically suggests that his ability to cope Following the trauma was so impaired that he had significant impaired life functioning and development. So that is where my assumptions were coming from. And children with normal needs typically do not see a therapist or a psychiatrist.

If you think this is consequence that will be most effective in teaching him and preventing future poor decision, then go for it.

All I observe, the world is just as full of punitive parents who are strict disciplinarians, as it is with permissive parents who make no demands and the whole lot of them are at risk to raise poorly functioning adults.

At the end of the day with my children, they will often forget so many of the lectures I give, words of wisdom I share, and often even the consequence I gave but they rarely will forget how I made them feel in intense situations & for me personally, being sad and/or shamed on Xmas morning, idk, I’d have to really think about the benefits or risks of that. And how, overall the relationship and his behavior was doing.

[stilltfez]

you do not need to rent a storage area. you can put a lock on your closet door. Your son has issues that need addressing with more than a medication. I suggest you look into working on parenting skills for a child with challenges and a therapy setting that can help the both of you work toward him controlling his behaviors. How does his behavior affect the other children?

[Anonymous 2]

His presents were mostly in the attic where he has always been afraid to go so no I didn’t put them where he could get at them. I never thought he would bother looking under my bed because it’s a platform bed with doors and again he’s afraid of dark places so again I didn’t think he would look there. Either way he knows better and after getting into trouble I thought he wouldn’t bother trying to find them again which is why I threw them in my closet which doesn’t have locks because there’s nothing of value in them besides some clothes and shoes. He has psychiatric issues because of something traumatic that happened when he was younger and has been afraid of just about anywhere dark since so I thought I chose pretty damn good spots. I’m still shocked he even went into the attic. I never thought he’d open everyone’s presents, I never thought he’d venture into the attic, I never thought he’d go under my bed. Now I know for next year and I’ll have to rent a storage unit or keep them at a family members house because I have no other spots where he doesn’t go. That doesn’t negate the fact that he knew better and he shouldn’t have done what he did so he’s getting clothes and books instead of the things he asked for.

do you honestly believe taking a mind altering drug is NOT going to alter his mind?

It sure gave him ability all right....

Yes, for the first time last night. Before that he wouldn’t get near it. I really need to learn how to predict the future thanks for letting me know.

KNOWING THE FACTS about a damn drug your own child is taking, is tantamount to PARENTING!!!

FFS - has NOTHING to do with 'predicting the future'