She acts offended

[mater-three]

I’m just laughing at you liking baked potatoes but not mashed. It’s essentially the same thing except you mash one up.

[Olioxenfree]

People also forget that being a guest means being grateful for the meal served and not making a fuss over potatoes.

People seem to forget that hosting means making your guests as comfortable as possible. That would mean allowing them to bring the foods they prefer without making a fuss.

Likewise being a good guest means to accept the hospitality offered with polite appreciation - even if someone chooses not to make your preferred food.

It is just one meal. I would just ask her directly if she minds if I bring a potato dish to serve along with the mashed potatoes, and bring enough for everyone.

[Olioxenfree]

People work really hard to host a meal, especially for a holiday, and spend a lot of time and money on the food, so when you bring along your own food you are basically saying "what you made isn't good enough for me"

What would make you a offended? I truly want to understand it because I don't understand why MIL would be offended. When I have things at my house, I make sure I have things for my aunt that is vegetarian. My friend and her DH are also vegetarian and we bought veggie burgers for them over the summer when they came over. I just always make sure I have things that people want and if they brought their own food, I would not feel offended.

I would feel a bit offended if my guests brought their own food without an allergy reason behind it.

BUT as a host it is my responsibility to make my guests comfortable and I would've had no problem accommodating your request for a few boiled potatoes. So IMO your MIL dropped the ball by not accommodating your very reasonable request.

I have a son who likes none of the traditional Thanksgiving food items so I get it. One alteration on potatoes is not a big request.

[Anonymous 3]

I’m just laughing at you liking baked potatoes but not mashed. It’s essentially the same thing except you mash one up.

I think it's a texture issue for some.

[Anonymous 4]

First off, everyone is offended these days for every thing under the sun. I'd bring the potato dish of her choice. If she pouts or throws a fit or whines or cries or is rude about it then make this the last Thanksgiving you go there. It's more than time for you to start and maintain your own family traditions.

This reminds me of a commercial I've seen several times this year...PHASE IT IN. A couple shopping for food talk about the Thanksgiving hostess not being a good cook (?), so the wife of this couple is buying a complete meal to "phase in" during the gathering. I laugh because its funny.

We may be doing that at Christmas. It's not that my sister is vegetarian although that's part of it. It's that she doesn't know how to feed teen boys. She, her dd and her husband eat like birds. Um no that's not going to work. So usually I cook for my boys and they cook for themselves lol.

[Pjmm]

I’m just laughing at you liking baked potatoes but not mashed. It’s essentially the same thing except you mash one up.

I think it's a texture issue for some.

I will eat them but I hate when the potatoes are whipped. They should be mashed but chunky.

[Anonymous 1]

Everyone likes different things. Yes, it's the same ingredients perhaps, but it's mushy, and I don't like mushy things. Yes, once you chew things, it gets mushy, but i still don't like them. To me, it's like eating something already chewed up and that grosses me out.

I’m just laughing at you liking baked potatoes but not mashed. It’s essentially the same thing except you mash one up.

[Olioxenfree]

Maybe it is cultural, because I can not imagine ever bringing my own food (other than a contribution to the meal like an hors d'oeuvres) or telling the host to modify their meal, outside of food restrictions like allergies. In my family that would be considered extremely rude.

Not sure if it was cultural or just very old school but Holiday meals were taken very serious and to bring something would be an insult. My ex sil one year said she couldn't eat anything i cooked cause she was on a diet. There was a ton of things she could of chosen that were healthy she still brought two subway sandwiches to eat instead. But she didn't like me lol

That's truly insane! To not get invited the next year for bringing something?? And possibly throw the person out? Wtf?

Growing up my grandma was very serious about her holiday food. She made a lot of different things. If anyone brought anything besides desert she would not of been happy. She would of been polite at the moment but they would not of gotten an invite the following year. Her mother however would of thrown out either the food or the person possibly both lol.

[Anonymous 1]

She is spending no extra time or money for a freaking baked potato! Hell if she would remember to set aside some boiled ones before she mashes them then i wouldn't have to bring one!

People work really hard to host a meal, especially for a holiday, and spend a lot of time and money on the food, so when you bring along your own food you are basically saying "what you made isn't good enough for me"

What would make you a offended? I truly want to understand it because I don't understand why MIL would be offended. When I have things at my house, I make sure I have things for my aunt that is vegetarian. My friend and her DH are also vegetarian and we bought veggie burgers for them over the summer when they came over. I just always make sure I have things that people want and if they brought their own food, I would not feel offended.

I would feel a bit offended if my guests brought their own food without an allergy reason behind it.

BUT as a host it is my responsibility to make my guests comfortable and I would've had no problem accommodating your request for a few boiled potatoes. So IMO your MIL dropped the ball by not accommodating your very reasonable request.

I have a son who likes none of the traditional Thanksgiving food items so I get it. One alteration on potatoes is not a big request.

[Pjmm]

Maybe it is cultural, because I can not imagine ever bringing my own food (other than a contribution to the meal like an hors d'oeuvres) or telling the host to modify their meal, outside of food restrictions like allergies. In my family that would be considered extremely rude.

Not sure if it was cultural or just very old school but Holiday meals were taken very serious and to bring something would be an insult. My ex sil one year said she couldn't eat anything i cooked cause she was on a diet. There was a ton of things she could of chosen that were healthy she still brought two subway sandwiches to eat instead. But she didn't like me lol

That's truly insane! To not get invited the next year for bringing something?? And possibly throw the person out? Wtf?

My family asks if there's anything my kids want. And my sister is vegetarian but certainly we'll bring a meat dish up at Christmas. We always do. It's no big deal for us.