He lost in court and now he is out a ton of money

[RedBottoms]

No you didnt answer. Also it is more complicated when you are getting married in an international relationship. My visa was for work not marriage.

How do you properly vet a guy? I am honestly curious

If your husband cheating on you now would you think you didnt properly vet him?

Did you do premarital counseling?

Yes, I would blame myself that I did not vet him and that maybe I was not working on our marriage as much as I should have

and why did you decide to get pregnant and allow yourself to get pregnant before marriage?

If your daughter came to you and said her husband had cheated on her after 10 happy years of marriage would you honestly say it was her fault?

We didnt do premarital counseling but that is not a common thing and I dont know anyone who has actually done that. I have known this guy for over 20 years and there were no warning signs because there was no warning it would happen. His ex girlfriend showed up at his door. I found out that next day and left right then and there

Our son wasnt planned. I had an IUD but we were still happy

I did premarital counseling. My pastor said he won't marry people without them completing a premarital counseling session with him. I know our area has a charity calls "First Things First" and they do free premarital counseling and seminars and give out entries to win free cruises and shit like that to everyone that attends. Last I checked Tennessee waives the marriage license fee if you do premarital counseling or lowers the fee.

So I don't buy that "Nobody does it". Responsible people do it.

[RedBottoms]

It's a little bizarre that the court would order visitation where you live, when you were the one who moved. He's not allowed to pay for the travel for the child to come visit him when he's old enough? Weird.

I smell bullshit

[Guest]

It's a little bizarre that the court would order visitation where you live, when you were the one who moved. He's not allowed to pay for the travel for the child to come visit him when he's old enough? Weird.

When my son is old enough visitation will be in the US

[Guest]

Did you do premarital counseling?

Yes, I would blame myself that I did not vet him and that maybe I was not working on our marriage as much as I should have

and why did you decide to get pregnant and allow yourself to get pregnant before marriage?

If your daughter came to you and said her husband had cheated on her after 10 happy years of marriage would you honestly say it was her fault?

We didnt do premarital counseling but that is not a common thing and I dont know anyone who has actually done that. I have known this guy for over 20 years and there were no warning signs because there was no warning it would happen. His ex girlfriend showed up at his door. I found out that next day and left right then and there

Our son wasnt planned. I had an IUD but we were still happy

I did premarital counseling. My pastor said he won't marry people without them completing a premarital counseling session with him. I know our area has a charity calls "First Things First" and they do free premarital counseling and seminars and give out entries to win free cruises and shit like that to everyone that attends. Last I checked Tennessee waives the marriage license fee if you do premarital counseling or lowers the fee.

So I don't buy that "Nobody does it". Responsible people do it.

It is not a thing where I live. I am not religious and do not have many religious friends.

Even where I lived in the US I dont know anyone who did that before getting married

[alexmom529]

Did you do premarital counseling?

Yes, I would blame myself that I did not vet him and that maybe I was not working on our marriage as much as I should have

and why did you decide to get pregnant and allow yourself to get pregnant before marriage?

If your daughter came to you and said her husband had cheated on her after 10 happy years of marriage would you honestly say it was her fault?

We didnt do premarital counseling but that is not a common thing and I dont know anyone who has actually done that. I have known this guy for over 20 years and there were no warning signs because there was no warning it would happen. His ex girlfriend showed up at his door. I found out that next day and left right then and there

Our son wasnt planned. I had an IUD but we were still happy

I did premarital counseling. My pastor said he won't marry people without them completing a premarital counseling session with him. I know our area has a charity calls "First Things First" and they do free premarital counseling and seminars and give out entries to win free cruises and shit like that to everyone that attends. Last I checked Tennessee waives the marriage license fee if you do premarital counseling or lowers the fee.

So I don't buy that "Nobody does it". Responsible people do it.

Reading is hard for you. She said it was uncommon, not that nobody does it. And know what else is for responsible people? Making sure one can feed their kids before purposfully shelling out money on trying to have them.

[RedBottoms]

If your daughter came to you and said her husband had cheated on her after 10 happy years of marriage would you honestly say it was her fault?

We didnt do premarital counseling but that is not a common thing and I dont know anyone who has actually done that. I have known this guy for over 20 years and there were no warning signs because there was no warning it would happen. His ex girlfriend showed up at his door. I found out that next day and left right then and there

Our son wasnt planned. I had an IUD but we were still happy

I did premarital counseling. My pastor said he won't marry people without them completing a premarital counseling session with him. I know our area has a charity calls "First Things First" and they do free premarital counseling and seminars and give out entries to win free cruises and shit like that to everyone that attends. Last I checked Tennessee waives the marriage license fee if you do premarital counseling or lowers the fee.

So I don't buy that "Nobody does it". Responsible people do it.

Reading is hard for you. She said it was uncommon, not that nobody does it. And know what else is for responsible people? Making sure one can feed their kids before purposfully shelling out money on trying to have them.

f**k off. I was planning on exclusively breastfeeding. I had no way of knowing it would not work or that they would need the more expensive higher calorie formula because I had no idea what their birthweights would be.

And I managed to pay for it anyway without going into debt so apparently it was a non issue.

[alexmom529]

I did premarital counseling. My pastor said he won't marry people without them completing a premarital counseling session with him. I know our area has a charity calls "First Things First" and they do free premarital counseling and seminars and give out entries to win free cruises and shit like that to everyone that attends. Last I checked Tennessee waives the marriage license fee if you do premarital counseling or lowers the fee.

So I don't buy that "Nobody does it". Responsible people do it.

Reading is hard for you. She said it was uncommon, not that nobody does it. And know what else is for responsible people? Making sure one can feed their kids before purposfully shelling out money on trying to have them.

f**k off. I was planning on exclusively breastfeeding. I had no way of knowing it would not work or that they would need the more expensive higher calorie formula because I had no idea what their birthweights would be.

And I managed to pay for it anyway without going into debt so apparently it was a non issue.

Just like the OP had no way of knowing that her husband was going to cheat. So why don’t you f**k off.

Also, should have been prepared. See how cunty that is?

[RedBottoms]

Reading is hard for you. She said it was uncommon, not that nobody does it. And know what else is for responsible people? Making sure one can feed their kids before purposfully shelling out money on trying to have them.

f**k off. I was planning on exclusively breastfeeding. I had no way of knowing it would not work or that they would need the more expensive higher calorie formula because I had no idea what their birthweights would be.

And I managed to pay for it anyway without going into debt so apparently it was a non issue.

Just like the OP had no way of knowing that her husband was going to cheat. So why don’t you f**k off.

Also, should have been prepared. See how cunty that is?

I mean you are not 100% wrong. I should have had some back up bottles or formula just in case. I will admit that.

I did try to do my research ahead of time and read a lot of books about breastfeeding and I talked to my OB about it and asked about if my PCOS would effect it etc and she brushed me off. So I did try to put in my work -my premarital counseling if you will.

But I should have also been storing formula coupons just in case and had some bottles and stuff on hand too.

See-I can admit if I made a mistake. But it worked out in the end with my kids not missing out on anything.

Op's kid is going to miss out on having a father around regularly. That is fucked up

[CotterpinDoozer]

He shouldn't have cheated, but you really should do whatever you can to help foster a relationship between the two. It's the child who loses out in the long run.

[AubreeGrace17]

It is pretty shitty he cheated on you imo. I'd still try hard to ensure they have a relationship. Holding onto anger and resentment does no good in the long run. Life is too short to be bitter, not saying that you are though.