I could really use a sounding board

[Anonymous 9]

I would go to Glassdoor and show her how much people with college degrees in specific fields make, and show her how much most people without college degrees make in your area. I would then go on Trulia and show her how much mansions cost, and how much fixer uppers cost....

I would then sit down and go through how taxes work, all the household bills, etc. By the end of that she will be crying!! But refocused......

[Deleted User 670]

My daughter went to a really good college prep high school. Most of the kids were taking AP courses. She opted not to because she already was dealing with anxiety. She did take some Honors classes which harder than the regular classes. And she did take an AP Environmental Science class because nothing else would fit in her schedule one semester but ended up dropping it because it was making her more stressed out. She still ended up graduating with straight A's and got into her first choice. Then there was the valedictorian who took as many AP classes as he could, was in drama with my daughter and had the lead in a couple of plays that the school put on and he still didn't get into Duke University, even with his stellar grades, great SATs, AP Classes, extracurriculars, etc.

It sounds like she may be burned out or she may have just discovered life doesn't have to be a grind. Changing her mind on her major isn't such a big deal. She also may be dealing with depression. The stress that teens have on them to excel in high school and take hard classes and graduate early is just creating more anxiety, stress and depression.

[agander2017]

I think you need to talk to her, like some other people said. She may need a break. She could be burned out. Or she could just want to spend more time with her boyfriend, who doesn't seem like the best influence for her.

[Olioxenfree]

I would tell her that we can definitely look into building in more free time for her next year, but no way is she only taking a couple classes and lounging around the rest of the time when she was given a free education. If she's feeling depressed, all that free time sitting around on her own isn't healthy either. There can be a balance, so she isn't feeling overwhelmed, but she also is getting the most out of her opportunity, for her future. I would also have her see a therapist to talk about these feelings.

[LiveWhatULove]

It’s a tough situation.

I am in the minority. She has no extra curricula's correct? Not she has no job, right? So all she has to do is classes, homework & boyfriend? Summers off? Is this correct? Or am I misunderstanding? That hardly sounds overwhelming. Many students are rocking this on TOP of sports and part time jobs. As someone who works with HS community college students, in our area, yes, they are working hard, BUT it is far from the same as a traditional 4 year degree course work.

I would not be happy with my 15 year smoking pot, any more than I would be if they were coming home drunk. I get that it is not the end of the world but I would not be “like kids, darn them using illegal drugs while they’re brains are still forming” So nope, I am not in the “oh she’s all burnt out, just coast through the next 2 years.” She’s capable of much more and after validating her feelings, that would very much be my advice, life is worth hard work...I acknowledge I can’t make her, but I would strongly be encouraging her to sort through her teen feelings and work to her potential.

[PoplarGrove]

It sounds like your daughter is burnt out and when people are burnt out they do stupid things like she's doing.

She needs to see a counsellor or therapist to help her figure out what she needs to do to find balance in her life. That may mean dropping down to easier courses for a while and possibly taking an extra year of school. The boyfriend needs to go, though. While I have no problem with marijuana using it as a means of escape only leads to bad things and his and his friend's influence isn't conductive to being a productive member of society.