Court order ideas please

[sheramom4]

Given that the first parent currently has primary custody I suspect the judge will give a standard long distance custody order....most of the summer, Spring Break, every other Christmas Break, opposite Thanksgiving breaks and possibly some random three day weekends as well as "liberal visitation" when Parent 1 is in town. Costs will likely be split for transportation.
There is really nothing that can be put into an order to prevent craziness outside if insisting the court order be followed.

[Anonymous 1]

Given that the first parent currently has primary custody I suspect the judge will give a standard long distance custody order....most of the summer, Spring Break, every other Christmas Break, opposite Thanksgiving breaks and possibly some random three day weekends as well as "liberal visitation" when Parent 1 is in town. Costs will likely be split for transportation.
There is really nothing that can be put into an order to prevent craziness outside if insisting the court order be followed.

Split costs for transportation? Good grief, the second parent has already been driven into the ground financially by all of this. That seems incredibly unfair, especially since the first parent is moving to chase dick.

I think the second parent would be happy if the kids had all of that time with the first parent as long as they were safe. And the first parent didn't try to disappear with them.

[sheramom4]

Given that the first parent currently has primary custody I suspect the judge will give a standard long distance custody order....most of the summer, Spring Break, every other Christmas Break, opposite Thanksgiving breaks and possibly some random three day weekends as well as "liberal visitation" when Parent 1 is in town. Costs will likely be split for transportation.
There is really nothing that can be put into an order to prevent craziness outside if insisting the court order be followed.

Split costs for transportation? Good grief, the second parent has already been driven into the ground financially by all of this. That seems incredibly unfair, especially since the first parent is moving to chase dick.

Split costs is the standard. Or given their ages meeting halfway instead of using air travel. So 4.5 hour drive each parent each way. If there is a good argument for parent one to pay all transportation costs then parent two can make said argument but why parent one is moving is not part of that. Will parent one be paying child support? Will there be other financial considerations like half the cost of childcare, extra curriculars, school fees?

[Anonymous 1]

Given that the first parent currently has primary custody I suspect the judge will give a standard long distance custody order....most of the summer, Spring Break, every other Christmas Break, opposite Thanksgiving breaks and possibly some random three day weekends as well as "liberal visitation" when Parent 1 is in town. Costs will likely be split for transportation.
There is really nothing that can be put into an order to prevent craziness outside if insisting the court order be followed.

Split costs for transportation? Good grief, the second parent has already been driven into the ground financially by all of this. That seems incredibly unfair, especially since the first parent is moving to chase dick.

Split costs is the standard. Or given their ages meeting halfway instead of using air travel. So 4.5 hour drive each parent each way. If there is a good argument for parent one to pay all transportation costs then parent two can make said argument but why parent one is moving is not part of that. Will parent one be paying child support? Will there be other financial considerations like half the cost of childcare, extra curriculars, school fees?

Parent one does not want to pay any support.

[Deleted User 670]

Hire an attorney who has experience with custody battles. The attorney should be able to advise you.

[sheramom4]

Split costs for transportation? Good grief, the second parent has already been driven into the ground financially by all of this. That seems incredibly unfair, especially since the first parent is moving to chase dick.

Split costs is the standard. Or given their ages meeting halfway instead of using air travel. So 4.5 hour drive each parent each way. If there is a good argument for parent one to pay all transportation costs then parent two can make said argument but why parent one is moving is not part of that. Will parent one be paying child support? Will there be other financial considerations like half the cost of childcare, extra curriculars, school fees?

Parent one does not want to pay any support.

Parent one doesn't get to choose and those things need to be outlined in the parenting plan. Everything does. Who pays for what, child support, transportation, and who claims who on taxes.
Parent two could ask for minimal child support and then parent one pays for all transportation and half of all kid expenses (medical, childcare, activities). Or full child support, split transportation and split additional expenses. Or I know someone who wrapped everything up into child support with the agreement that the custodial parent would save X amount per month for transportation. So the monthly support was higher but it was to cover everything for the year.

[Rosehawk]

You need to get yourself a lawyer ASAP to protect you and kids.

[Linda_Runs]

Unfortunately this makes sense to me because I see this crap all the time. I do work in that business as a licensed and insured degree paralegal with my own contracting business. While I do have a degree in law, I am not a lawyer. My first advice is to get legal representation. I can't suggest that enough.

In many, if not all jurisdictions, a judge will not issue an order for custody and access without either legal representation from both sides and/or self represented input and litigation. If this is an order on consent, both parties must agree in writing. If this is an order without consent, the judge will want a hearing to talk to both parties. If this is an uncontested order, something went wrong months ago with one of more parties being totally uncooperative.

As far as protections, caveats could be written in that cancel access if the other party is late, doesn't give notification by a specific time or violates the order. To be honest, those types of protections are almost set up to fail because they are hard to enforce. As far as the frequency of access, make sure the kids are part of that. Access should reflect the children's lives and activities. If the access doesn't allow for their normal activities (sports, friends, etc) the access is not properly written.

[Deleted User 172]

So your the second parent and he's the first parent.
Ok. You can always have it written into the order that neither parent can "spirit" the kids away. Meaning they can't remove the kids from school/daycare and disappear with them.

[Deleted User 172]

And get a lawyer.