Struggling to keep a straight face

[Anonymous 5]

Your in-laws are not your mom or dad. It would be perfectly understandable if you would not want to call them "mom" and "dad."

As I alluded to earlier and you mentioned below, you can't just call people whatever you want to call them. If OP's SIL wouldn't want nieces/nephews to call her "Susie," they'd be wrong to call her Susie. Anyone who thinks it would be OK for them to do that, I'd want to know if it would be OK if SIL, Susie could call them Harry, Dick, and Jane...because that's what she wants to call them. Nope. IMO, it would be wrong.

To call any person by any other name than the one they wish to be called by would be ignorant. And if my kids did it (but they would never), they'd be in trouble.

But it appears this is a moot point anyway because OP said the kids & she will be calling SIL by the name she wishes..."Aunt." It's a win/win (sarcasm) for everyone. SIL gets what she wants by being called "Aunt." And OP/nieces/nephews get to continue to feel as if they are slighting her.

So they can call her Mrs. last name and call everyone else by their nicknames

Sorry but no. It's about the comfort of both people involved. People should not force filial titles to try and force intimate relationships. Just like when my Mil and Fil.insisted I call them mom and dad. It made me uncomfortable so I said no. I'm no way was I ride to that. 2 of my Aunts are 10 years younger me do you really think I call them anything but Susie?

[QuantumNursing]

Your in-laws are not your mom or dad. It would be perfectly understandable if you would not want to call them "mom" and "dad."

As I alluded to earlier and you mentioned below, you can't just call people whatever you want to call them. If OP's SIL wouldn't want nieces/nephews to call her "Susie," they'd be wrong to call her Susie. Anyone who thinks it would be OK for them to do that, I'd want to know if it would be OK if SIL, Susie could call them Harry, Dick, and Jane...because that's what she wants to call them. Nope. IMO, it would be wrong.

To call any person by any other name than the one they wish to be called by would be ignorant. And if my kids did it (but they would never), they'd be in trouble.

But it appears this is a moot point anyway because OP said the kids & she will be calling SIL by the name she wishes..."Aunt." It's a win/win (sarcasm) for everyone. SIL gets what she wants by being called "Aunt." And OP/nieces/nephews get to continue to feel as if they are slighting her.

Sorry but no. It's about the comfort of both people involved. People should not force filial titles to try and force intimate relationships. Just like when my Mil and Fil.insisted I call them mom and dad. It made me uncomfortable so I said no. I'm no way was I ride to that. 2 of my Aunts are 10 years younger me do you really think I call them anything but Susie?

Obviously I disagree. As long as they are nt calling her a home wrecking whore they can call her what they want. Like I said even though several of my aunts and uncles are younger than me I dont call them Aunt Susie or Uncle Bob. So Im being disrespectful of them? As long as they use her given name thats fine.

[Anonymous 5]

I'm trying to say that I would only consider it to be disrespectful if they specifically asked you to not omit the "Aunt" & you did anyway.

Your in-laws are not your mom or dad. It would be perfectly understandable if you would not want to call them "mom" and "dad."

As I alluded to earlier and you mentioned below, you can't just call people whatever you want to call them. If OP's SIL wouldn't want nieces/nephews to call her "Susie," they'd be wrong to call her Susie. Anyone who thinks it would be OK for them to do that, I'd want to know if it would be OK if SIL, Susie could call them Harry, Dick, and Jane...because that's what she wants to call them. Nope. IMO, it would be wrong.

Sorry but no. It's about the comfort of both people involved. People should not force filial titles to try and force intimate relationships. Just like when my Mil and Fil.insisted I call them mom and dad. It made me uncomfortable so I said no. I'm no way was I ride to that. 2 of my Aunts are 10 years younger me do you really think I call them anything but Susie?

Obviously I disagree. As long as they are nt calling her a home wrecking whore they can call her what they want. Like I said even though several of my aunts and uncles are younger than me I dont call them Aunt Susie or Uncle Bob. So Im being disrespectful of them? As long as they use her given name thats fine.

[QuantumNursing]

I'm trying to say that I would only consider it to be disrespectful if they specifically asked you to not omit the "Aunt" & you did anyway.

Your in-laws are not your mom or dad. It would be perfectly understandable if you would not want to call them "mom" and "dad."

As I alluded to earlier and you mentioned below, you can't just call people whatever you want to call them. If OP's SIL wouldn't want nieces/nephews to call her "Susie," they'd be wrong to call her Susie. Anyone who thinks it would be OK for them to do that, I'd want to know if it would be OK if SIL, Susie could call them Harry, Dick, and Jane...because that's what she wants to call them. Nope. IMO, it would be wrong.

Obviously I disagree. As long as they are nt calling her a home wrecking whore they can call her what they want. Like I said even though several of my aunts and uncles are younger than me I dont call them Aunt Susie or Uncle Bob. So Im being disrespectful of them? As long as they use her given name thats fine.

They have asked me to call them Auntie and Uncle and I told them to get bent. Now that part was disrespectful but my point stands. I dont feel comfortable calling them my Aunt and uncle so i dont. I called them by their legal name. Thats not being disrespectful.

[Anonymous 5]

Will just agree to disagree.

I'm trying to say that I would only consider it to be disrespectful if they specifically asked you to not omit the "Aunt" & you did anyway.

Obviously I disagree. As long as they are nt calling her a home wrecking whore they can call her what they want. Like I said even though several of my aunts and uncles are younger than me I dont call them Aunt Susie or Uncle Bob. So Im being disrespectful of them? As long as they use her given name thats fine.

They have asked me to call them Auntie and Uncle and I told them to get bent. Now that part was disrespectful but my point stands. I dont feel comfortable calling them my Aunt and uncle so i dont. I called them by their legal name. Thats not being disrespectful.

[QuantumNursing]

Will just agree to disagree.

I'm trying to say that I would only consider it to be disrespectful if they specifically asked you to not omit the "Aunt" & you did anyway.

They have asked me to call them Auntie and Uncle and I told them to get bent. Now that part was disrespectful but my point stands. I dont feel comfortable calling them my Aunt and uncle so i dont. I called them by their legal name. Thats not being disrespectful.

Fair enough. But I dont know how calling someone their name is disrespectful