Husband is severely depressed...Anyone have experience dealing with a depressed man?

[Seeking Advice]

My husband, who usually your typical manly man with more ambition than anyone else I’ve ever met has been battling depression for a while now and I’m at a loss as to how to help him come out of this. He is polar opposite of his usual self. Before this depression hit I had only seen my husband cry twice, in 16 years. Here lately he’s way more emotional. He’s not his usual jovial, positive self. He used to be really into physical fitness but that’s been completely thrown out the window for about a year now. We even went out and bought equipment and put a gym in our house but he only worked out for a week and hasn’t touched the gym since.

A few years ago I went through severe depression. I still struggle with depression from time to time but it’s so different for my husband. There’s no way he will ever see anyone for help (doctor, psychiatrist, counselor, etc). Our mutual best friend passed away in December of 2015 and neither of us have any other real friends. I know that’s still a struggle for him.

There’s a lot more info I can add to all of this but this post is already long so I’ll end here. If any of you have been through this with your own husband or boyfriend I would greatly appreciate any advice or resources you can give me. Thanks in advance.

[jas]

You can try natural remedies, but honestly, a doctor would be better to handle this. Meds have worked wonderfully.
But - he's got to want to come out of his depression. Have you talked to him about it? What is he saying?

[Superbutt]

I dealt with this earlier this year. There wasn't anything I coul ddo and we ended up taking a break while he went inpatient.

[carterscutie85]

I would try to get him to be more active. It'll be hard but sometimes just laying around makes depression works. You'll have to work hard at it since he probably doesn't feel like he has the energy.

[scemily526]

There is NOTHING you can DO...HE has to WANT to get better....BTDT

[EarlGrayHot]

First of all-being emotional and crying is NOT a failing or necessarily a sign of depression. That's a mistake. Any decent man or woman cries at times. Your definition of a "manly man" needs adjusting a bit. Perhaps you both need some therapy since your attitude may be contributing to the problem.

[Deleted User 670]

He needs to see his family doctor for a full work up to make sure his depression isn't being caused by low thyroid, low vitamin d or any other deficiencies. His family doctor can put him on medication that will raise his serotonin levels which is usually the cause of most depression. But there are other brain chemicals that can be out of wack and cause depression as well. And if he has severe depression, he's not going to snap out of it by himself. He will need help. Especially if depression runs in his family, which is very common. It runs in my family as well as my husband's family. He's been treated for it a few times over the past 23 years we've been married and so have I.

[LiveWhatULove]

I will apologize ahead of time for what likely seems like a glib response...

S*x is really important to my DH's mental health, more than any exercise, diet, etc... So that is my advice.

[RedBottoms]

He needs to see a doctor and get some therapy. Maybe grief counseling since it seems to have something to do with the loss of your friend.

[SeekingAdvice]

First of all-being emotional and crying is NOT a failing or necessarily a sign of depression. That's a mistake. Any decent man or woman cries at times. Your definition of a "manly man" needs adjusting a bit. Perhaps you both need some therapy since your attitude may be contributing to the problem.

There is way more to this than just crying. If I explained everything I’d end up writing a novel. Obviously most people who make posts seeking advice don’t include every single detail because if they did no one would take the time to read it.

I know what depression looks like. I’ve been there and went through hell to come out the other side and now I’ve been watching my husband battle this shit for over a year. Just wanted advice from others who have dealt with depressed men, because to me dealing with a depressed man comes with an extra set of challenges. And I’m sorry if the term manly man pisses you off.