Why women don't leave

[Bubbs]

For those who have always lived in relative safety it probably is a hard concept to grasp. "Well, I would have left the first time he hit me" - by the time he first hits you he's already convinced you that you're worthless and deserve it. Abusers pick their victims. They aren't going for a woman who has a strong will and character that will put up with the beginnings of abuse. He goes for women who through mental illness or conditioning will allow him to treat her the way he does. He chooses a woman who probably has few close (and especially strong) friends and family. And then she's afraid to tell anyone what's happening because she knows what women like many on this board would say.

I was a woman who said, I'd NEVER let someone treat me like that. Until I was in it, he caught me at a low point and then continued to chip away at that.

I'm sorry. Must have felt like a big betrayal to yourself.
You're perfect just the way you are and I'm damn proud of you for finding a way out.

Yes, I’m still working through anger at myself for allowing him to stay as long as I did.
Thank you.
I think it was a lesson I needed to learn and makes me have empathy for women in similar situations that depend on their husbands financially and have to figure out so many things I didn’t have to.

[Momto2boys973]

I’m not going to discuss semantics with someone who doesn’t even have the decency to show her face when bad mouthing me.
As I said, it’s right there for all to read. And now I know it’s YOU who wrote that because you also tried to recreate semantics for your convenience on that post, even going as far as editing the OP you quoted to change the meaning of her post.

What you said was not accurate. You need to work on your reading comprehension.

Seems like neither parent is competent which is where the whole second part comes in.

Thank you for that! Saved me the trouble of looking for it. So what I said was accurate. She (you, most likely) referred to the abuser as the “competent” parent. But the abused woman isn’t a competent parent. She’s the “shitty parent”.

This is exactly what was said.

"If he is not at all a risk to the children she should leave them with the competent parent. She is not that. She isnt a good mom, she isnt even competent enough to support herself or her children

If he is unsafe she should call CPS and fight for the kids to be placed with a competent relative.

She stops being a victim as soon as her kids are kept in an abusive situation. That just makes her a POS"

[Sassy762]

Is this one #3 the whiner or #4 the basher??

I’m not going to discuss semantics with someone who doesn’t even have the decency to show her face when bad mouthing me.
As I said, it’s right there for all to read. And now I know it’s YOU who wrote that because you also tried to recreate semantics for your convenience on that post, even going as far as editing the OP you quoted to change the meaning of her post.

What you said was not accurate. You need to work on your reading comprehension.

Seems like neither parent is competent which is where the whole second part comes in.

Thank you for that! Saved me the trouble of looking for it. So what I said was accurate. She (you, most likely) referred to the abuser as the “competent” parent. But the abused woman isn’t a competent parent. She’s the “shitty parent”.

[Momto2boys973]

#3. The one who said that in the other post.

Is this one #3 the whiner or #4 the basher??

I’m not going to discuss semantics with someone who doesn’t even have the decency to show her face when bad mouthing me.
As I said, it’s right there for all to read. And now I know it’s YOU who wrote that because you also tried to recreate semantics for your convenience on that post, even going as far as editing the OP you quoted to change the meaning of her post.

What you said was not accurate. You need to work on your reading comprehension.

Seems like neither parent is competent which is where the whole second part comes in.

[Sassy762]

AHHHH the whiny butt, got it, LOL

#3. The one who said that in the other post.

Is this one #3 the whiner or #4 the basher??

I’m not going to discuss semantics with someone who doesn’t even have the decency to show her face when bad mouthing me.
As I said, it’s right there for all to read. And now I know it’s YOU who wrote that because you also tried to recreate semantics for your convenience on that post, even going as far as editing the OP you quoted to change the meaning of her post.

[Anonymous 2]

You dont know what you are talking about. You are going around saying stuff that isnt true. It is there for everyone to read.

I’m not going to discuss semantics with someone who doesn’t even have the decency to show her face when bad mouthing me.
As I said, it’s right there for all to read. And now I know it’s YOU who wrote that because you also tried to recreate semantics for your convenience on that post, even going as far as editing the OP you quoted to change the meaning of her post.

What you said was not accurate. You need to work on your reading comprehension.

Seems like neither parent is competent which is where the whole second part comes in.

Thank you for that! Saved me the trouble of looking for it. So what I said was accurate. She (you, most likely) referred to the abuser as the “competent” parent. But the abused woman isn’t a competent parent. She’s the “shitty parent”.

[Anonymous 2]

I am a completely different person. She is just making assumptions.

AHHHH the whiny butt, got it, LOL

#3. The one who said that in the other post.

Is this one #3 the whiner or #4 the basher??

[Sassy762]

Whatever.........Y'all duke it out. I'm going back to my recipes

I am a completely different person. She is just making assumptions.

AHHHH the whiny butt, got it, LOL

#3. The one who said that in the other post.

[Anonymous 2]

No reason to. She can say what she wants that doesnt make it true. She just was taking what was said out of context *shrugs*

Whatever.........Y'all duke it out. I'm going back to my recipes

I am a completely different person. She is just making assumptions.

AHHHH the whiny butt, got it, LOL

[Momto2boys973]

Yeah, well. All you cowards look, think and talk alike.

I am a completely different person. She is just making assumptions.

AHHHH the whiny butt, got it, LOL

#3. The one who said that in the other post.