insisting kids only go 2 and a half hours away from college or less

[RedBottoms]

You can't stop them from finding employment once they graduate outside of your 2.5hr control zone.
You delay the inevitable.

Is this the only way shes a strings attached parent?

I don't know her well enough to say. But you are right-you can't keep them living near you indefinitely forever

[EarlGrayHot]

We live in a community with a great state university. I work for that university and got half-price tuition if our daughter went here and since that university had what she wanted to study we wanted her to attend this university. We simply couldn't easily afford the expense of her going elsewhere, not to mention we live so close to campus she could live at home as I did. In the end she was glad she had gone to IU and lived at home. We were glad to have her close for a few more years.

[RedBottoms]

We live in a community with a great state university. I work for that university and got half-price tuition if our daughter went here and since that university had what she wanted to study we wanted her to attend this university. We simply couldn't easily afford the expense of her going elsewhere, not to mention we live so close to campus she could live at home as I did. In the end she was glad she had gone to IU and lived at home. We were glad to have her close for a few more years.

half price tuition? I might have to get a job at a college when my kids are ready to attend! Sweet deal

[Smarties]

I paid for my own and I went where I wanted to go. I never for a second considered what my parents wanted and they didn't give any input. Parents being part of the decision is sort of a foreign idea to me.

I hope your friend's son goes wherever he wants to go. She needs to think beyond what she wants.

[WickedPissah]

In-state tuition maybe.

[Anonymous 5]

You’re hilarious.

Considering it's not exactly news that Ivy league schools like Harvard are no longer what they are cracked up to be, we don't have a good opinion of them and our kids wouldn't be wasting their time going. Luckily we have several colleges within a few hours drive that are very good and have programs that prepare young people for careers that involve more than just dropping a certain university name, so it wouldn't be an issue.

[Anonymous 6]

I think your friend’s rule is ridiculous.

Having said that, I live within 3ish hours of Harvard, Yale, MIT, Columbia, and the University of Pennsylvania so I would definitely prefer my children to pick one of those schools over somewhere like Stanford. But in the end it’s their choice and I will fully fund college even if they choose Stanford over MIT.

[QuantumNursing]

Harvard doesn’t send letters to students asking them to apply. Did you make that one up or your friend? LOL

Really?........

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2018 ... o-harvard/

[Anonymous 7]

With respect to their kids going to college, the only control a parent has is how much he will contribute to financing it.

They can make all the rules they want. But if the kid is 18, he's going to go where he wants to go.

I have step kids and when one of them approached DH about going to an Ivy League college he told them "no." Here's what I think: Let the kid apply. Him WANTING to go to an Ivy League college is no guarantee that he'll be accepted. I'd rather allow the kid to apply, see what happens, and go from there because at least that way, later in life the kid can't say, "YOU stopped me from doing xyz." Let the kid apply. And if he gets accepted, let him know how much you will contribute to his tuition and how much his tuition will cost HIM.

[LiveWhatULove]

I work in an academic setting and my views have changed dramatically over the years on this topic.
I do not believe, in 95% of cases, the college determines a student’s success. There are published scholars, researchers, and those leading STEM fields or liberal arts who literally started at a community college and finished at a local state uni. In fact, I have actually seen more success when a high ability student is in a lesser known university than in the heavy competition of IVY league. So I have no issues with attending college close to home.

Or in other words, the prestige or pride of IVY league schools would have only slighty influence my advice or recommendation unless my child truly wants to do nothing but research for the rest of their life.

What would influence my decision, is the emotional & social maturity and problem solving skills of my child. If my child is still needing assistance and guidance I would encourage they stay closer to home. I would remind them of the benefits of such a decision, but ultimately, it’s not my decision to make. It will be my child’s and I would ultimately fully support their choice.