Every single time. It’s been years now. I start dating and he gets wind of it. He’s ruined relationships I’ve had with men in the past because I have fallen for his manipulation. I’ve been a pushover and easy to manipulate. I easily feel guilty and can be swayed.
But apparently he knows I’m dating and he immediately starts again. After all these years I wish he’d just let me live my life. He’s not ruining this relationship this time.
For the record, he started ramping up his disrespect of me to get on my nerves. We have kids together and he says inappropriate stuff to them and just starts disrespecting me. If I get upset he acts innocent and says I don’t know why you are upset. (Gaslighting) Then he sent me an email that was long and in essence said he loved me deeply like no one else could and he wished I’d see that. He said he hoped I wasn’t just doing this to prove something.
I know I need to keep my head straight. I’m an empath and people affect me too much. I need to shut him down.
Omg I just had an epiphany too. At the beginning of the year he told me he wanted to do a New Years resolution with me to get along. Then he proceeded to start the subtle indirect disrespect. I get upset and he just says he doesn’t understand. He just wants to get along. It’s all a big game to him. Then the sappy email. I’m so stupid sometimes.
My ex tries to ruin things when I date.
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Princess
- Posts: 19043
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 6:31 am
Unless it's about the kids I wouldn't even read it. If he talks to the kids I'd tell him I'm sorry your father decided to talk to you about things not your concern and ask them to not discuss your dating with him. I would not even introduce men to the kids until you know he's the one. Ignore the ex's emails and tell him unless it's about the kids you aren't discussing it.
A therapist told me this. And my sister. I honestly just thought everyone was like that. I just have a hard time not letting other people’s emotions impact me. I feel bad for people like it’s me in the situation and it paralyzed me and makes me do things that aren’t in my best interest.
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- Regent
- Posts: 2813
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 6:22 am
um...block his email, and get yourself some much needed counseling on how to stand up for yourself, and stop allowing behaviors like that
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- Regent
- Posts: 2813
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 6:22 am
and stop telling your kids you're 'dating'
What type of therapist?
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- Regent
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- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 6:22 am
is that supposed to be some kind of excuse for how you behave? if so, your therapist is doing a very poor job of teaching you anything or even counseling you on your life
I didn’t tell my kids that I was dating. They saw a text message on my phone and they asked who it was. I said a friend. They told their dad who figured it out.
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- Regent
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- Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 6:22 am
try locking your phone so your kids can't get into it....Anonymous 3 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:31 amI didn’t tell my kids that I was dating. They saw a text message on my phone and they asked who it was. I said a friend. They told their dad who figured it out.