perhaps I am the devil in heels

[Olioxenfree]

That was her SO who did the worksite thing with her kids, no her ex.

Exactly. To be honest, if I were this EX, I would not have even allowed her access to the home. I'm not condoning anything that he did. But regardless of whose name is on the deed, it was his home. And they aren't a couple anymore. I would have denied her access.

If I were OP, I'd have gone somewhere else with ALL of my children. (Of course, I realize she may not be physically capable of removing a 17yo boy.) Like I said earlier, if this story is true, I feel for everyone involved. But I have to say that the common theme is HER.

She needs to start her life over again...without any partner. And she needs to put the best interest of her kids, not herself, first. She has told stories about her EX that indicate that he is not mentally stable. She has known for a long time that he's not mentally stable. Leaving any child with him tells me that she has not put her kids first. It surely looks like she's putting her wants before theirs. I would be interested in learning how she concluded that it would be in their best interest to be left with him. Isn't this the same guy who took the kids to a work site and had no lunch available to them all day?

Hearing her speak of how these men are affecting HER is starting to anger me. I'm getting tired of hearing how this is impacting her and how everyone is wronging her. There are several kids involved. Yes. It appears that she is suffering. But what is more obvious and concerning to me is how much all these kids are suffering.

His meltdowns are not just NOW affecting your ds. You have told story after story about his poor parenting choices/treatments. Please don't say that this is NEW behavior. If you said, "I've just had enough of how he is," I'd at least believe you.

I can't recall every detail about all of your stories. But the one consistent theme seems to be that you make choices based solely on how YOU can reap some sort of benefit from it (or at least that's how you portray yourself).

I don't believe that your SO ignoring your son is why you chose to leave. I'm glad you left. And I hope you make a good/stable life for yourself and your children. But I don't believe your SO's treatment of your son was the cause for your departure. Something is in it for you. Or at least that's what your past history leads me to believe.

Right and you can't bring another man's child to your ex's while pregnant again with another man's baby and expect him to be cool with that. Even your ds17 probably knows that's not a good idea. Idc whose name the house is in. If he's not a danger to himself then he's probably fed up and decided enough was enough. Maybe he thinks for everyone's sake he needs to leave given what just happened. I'm not saying he's right but it's a human response. RB, you need your own place. Idk even know why you had to leave so abruptly. He wasn't abusive, just neglectful. You could have found a place first.

[Vegaswife2011]

This is crazy. Is this real?

I sure as hell hope not.

[Anonymous 5]

Oh. See what I mean? My memory of the details of her story isn't always the best. Thanks for setting me straight.

That was her SO who did the worksite thing with her kids, no her ex.

Exactly. To be honest, if I were this EX, I would not have even allowed her access to the home. I'm not condoning anything that he did. But regardless of whose name is on the deed, it was his home. And they aren't a couple anymore. I would have denied her access.

If I were OP, I'd have gone somewhere else with ALL of my children. (Of course, I realize she may not be physically capable of removing a 17yo boy.) Like I said earlier, if this story is true, I feel for everyone involved. But I have to say that the common theme is HER.

She needs to start her life over again...without any partner. And she needs to put the best interest of her kids, not herself, first. She has told stories about her EX that indicate that he is not mentally stable. She has known for a long time that he's not mentally stable. Leaving any child with him tells me that she has not put her kids first. It surely looks like she's putting her wants before theirs. I would be interested in learning how she concluded that it would be in their best interest to be left with him. Isn't this the same guy who took the kids to a work site and had no lunch available to them all day?

Hearing her speak of how these men are affecting HER is starting to anger me. I'm getting tired of hearing how this is impacting her and how everyone is wronging her. There are several kids involved. Yes. It appears that she is suffering. But what is more obvious and concerning to me is how much all these kids are suffering.

Right and you can't bring another man's child to your ex's while pregnant again with another man's baby and expect him to be cool with that. Even your ds17 probably knows that's not a good idea. Idc whose name the house is in. If he's not a danger to himself then he's probably fed up and decided enough was enough. Maybe he thinks for everyone's sake he needs to leave given what just happened. I'm not saying he's right but it's a human response. RB, you need your own place. Idk even know why you had to leave so abruptly. He wasn't abusive, just neglectful. You could have found a place first.

[LiveWhatULove]

This is crazy. Is this real?

I sure as hell hope not.

You know, I don't doubt that things like this happen in life, but I think anyone choosing to post it on mom confessions = highly unlikely, lol! Unless there is some extreme self-loathing with the need to be told repeatedly that you're a bad person!

[Deleted User 670]

You know you don't have to turn off the wifi. You can set up parental controls so that only the kid's electronics are shut off after a set time in the evening. We had to do the same with our kid. Does your ex have a signed rental agreement with you?

[Valentina327]

I just feel bad for you and worse for the kids.

Maybe it's a blessing. He willingly left and you said this is your house. You didn't have to evict him. You have them all under one roof, which you said you wanted. So maybe this is all working in your favor. Get support from the 2 fathers via court order, rent out your basement or a spare room to a tenant for extra income, then you have your weekend job if you're still working that.

I hope this all works out for you. I think many of us expressed our concerns for how you structured your life because we've seen things happen to women in your situation. Maybe this is your clean slate. Good luck.

[madfoodie]

You said your ex is allowing you to stay with him. How the he'll do you kick a man out of his home and how the he'll is he the homeless one?

[Anonymous 5]

Very sage advice from Valentina!

I just feel bad for you and worse for the kids.

Maybe it's a blessing. He willingly left and you said this is your house. You didn't have to evict him. You have them all under one roof, which you said you wanted. So maybe this is all working in your favor. Get support from the 2 fathers via court order, rent out your basement or a spare room to a tenant for extra income, then you have your weekend job if you're still working that.

I hope this all works out for you. I think many of us expressed our concerns for how you structured your life because we've seen things happen to women in your situation. Maybe this is your clean slate. Good luck.

[Anonymous 5]

Although I will say that it is good that OP has her own house back and has all her kids with her, I've got a feeling that this guy will be back and won't be homeless. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he's back by today. I hope I'm wrong about that.

You said your ex is allowing you to stay with him. How the he'll do you kick a man out of his home and how the he'll is he the homeless one?

[Vegaswife2011]

This is crazy. Is this real?

I sure as hell hope not.

You know, I don't doubt that things like this happen in life, but I think anyone choosing to post it on mom confessions = highly unlikely, lol! Unless there is some extreme self-loathing with the need to be told repeatedly that you're a bad person!

Right. I don’t get it either.