perhaps I am the devil in heels

[Baconqueen13]

No you really can't judge off of that. My kids are really good and well taken care of. They are truly happy kids.

Acting out like that is NOT "really good". "Well taken care of" doesn't mean gaming systems and Air Jordans. Your oldest wasn't respectful either. He needs to mind.

Ds is never disrespectful, everyone was out of character so that's why I referred to myself as the devil. I can't help but wonder if my presence made things worse.

You always make things worse because you create the drama yourself and you're not actively involved in your son's life so it's not like you would know if he has a habit of being disrespectful or not.

[Pjmm]

His meltdowns are not just NOW affecting your ds. You have told story after story about his poor parenting choices/treatments. Please don't say that this is NEW behavior. If you said, "I've just had enough of how he is," I'd at least believe you.

I can't recall every detail about all of your stories. But the one consistent theme seems to be that you make choices based solely on how YOU can reap some sort of benefit from it (or at least that's how you portray yourself).

I don't believe that your SO ignoring your son is why you chose to leave. I'm glad you left. And I hope you make a good/stable life for yourself and your children. But I don't believe your SO's treatment of your son was the cause for your departure. Something is in it for you. Or at least that's what your past history leads me to believe.

That's what I want to know, too. What prompted her to finally leave and go live with her EX?

He had a meltdown as usual over some dumb shit, I used to cater to that shit but now I just ignore him however his meltdowns are now affecting our ds. Ds loves being around his dad. When my SO was going through his meltdown he completely checked out of parenting. DS fell and bumped his head and went straight to his father for comfort and my SO totally ignored him, wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. Day 2 of the meltdown continues and I told him to look after ds while I showered. I came out of the shower and ds was on the counter eating tums while my SO was still in his ignoring us phase. Two days of not acknowledging us. I was ok with him shutting down from me during his meltdowns but now I've noticed that he will do the same thing with our kids during his meltdowns.

Right and you can't bring another man's child to your ex's while pregnant again with another man's baby and expect him to be cool with that. Even your ds17 probably knows that's not a good idea. Idc whose name the house is in. If he's not a danger to himself then he's probably fed up and decided enough was enough. Maybe he thinks for everyone's sake he needs to leave given what just happened. I'm not saying he's right but it's a human response. RB, you need your own place. Idk even know why you had to leave so abruptly. He wasn't abusive, just neglectful. You could have found a place first.

[Anonymous 5]

Exactly. To be honest, if I were this EX, I would not have even allowed her access to the home. I'm not condoning anything that he did. But regardless of whose name is on the deed, it was his home. And they aren't a couple anymore. I would have denied her access.

If I were OP, I'd have gone somewhere else with ALL of my children. (Of course, I realize she may not be physically capable of removing a 17yo boy.) Like I said earlier, if this story is true, I feel for everyone involved. But I have to say that the common theme is HER.

She needs to start her life over again...without any partner. And she needs to put the best interest of her kids, not herself, first. She has told stories about her EX that indicate that he is not mentally stable. She has known for a long time that he's not mentally stable. Leaving any child with him tells me that she has not put her kids first. It surely looks like she's putting her wants before theirs. I would be interested in learning how she concluded that it would be in their best interest to be left with him. Isn't this the same guy who took the kids to a work site and had no lunch available to them all day?

Hearing her speak of how these men are affecting HER is starting to anger me. I'm getting tired of hearing how this is impacting her and how everyone is wronging her. There are several kids involved. Yes. It appears that she is suffering. But what is more obvious and concerning to me is how much all these kids are suffering.

His meltdowns are not just NOW affecting your ds. You have told story after story about his poor parenting choices/treatments. Please don't say that this is NEW behavior. If you said, "I've just had enough of how he is," I'd at least believe you.

I can't recall every detail about all of your stories. But the one consistent theme seems to be that you make choices based solely on how YOU can reap some sort of benefit from it (or at least that's how you portray yourself).

I don't believe that your SO ignoring your son is why you chose to leave. I'm glad you left. And I hope you make a good/stable life for yourself and your children. But I don't believe your SO's treatment of your son was the cause for your departure. Something is in it for you. Or at least that's what your past history leads me to believe.

He had a meltdown as usual over some dumb shit, I used to cater to that shit but now I just ignore him however his meltdowns are now affecting our ds. Ds loves being around his dad. When my SO was going through his meltdown he completely checked out of parenting. DS fell and bumped his head and went straight to his father for comfort and my SO totally ignored him, wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. Day 2 of the meltdown continues and I told him to look after ds while I showered. I came out of the shower and ds was on the counter eating tums while my SO was still in his ignoring us phase. Two days of not acknowledging us. I was ok with him shutting down from me during his meltdowns but now I've noticed that he will do the same thing with our kids during his meltdowns.

Right and you can't bring another man's child to your ex's while pregnant again with another man's baby and expect him to be cool with that. Even your ds17 probably knows that's not a good idea. Idc whose name the house is in. If he's not a danger to himself then he's probably fed up and decided enough was enough. Maybe he thinks for everyone's sake he needs to leave given what just happened. I'm not saying he's right but it's a human response. RB, you need your own place. Idk even know why you had to leave so abruptly. He wasn't abusive, just neglectful. You could have found a place first.

[Anonymous 12]

I have personally found that when it seems like every other adult in my life is a jerk, asshole, stupid, the realty is that I am being the jerk, asshole, and acting stupid.

It can't always be the fault of someone else.

[LiveWhatULove]

This is crazy. Is this real?

[Anonymous 5]

I wish you could convince my sister of this philosophy!

Maybe if she could buy into what you're saying, she could start to be better to those around her and she, too, might be a happier person.

I have personally found that when it seems like every other adult in my life is a jerk, asshole, stupid, the realty is that I am being the jerk, asshole, and acting stupid.

It can't always be the fault of someone else.

[Quorra2.0]

I feel like I really don’t know enough about the situation to fully comment. I’ll be honest, I don’t follow your life like it’s a soap opera. From what I HAVE read, you seem to have security issues that play a huge part in how you handle situations, the choices you make, and how you response to those in your life, but I could be wrong, that’s just how your vent posts come across to me.

Idk if your the devil in heals. I don’t know you, but based on my impression of you, I’d say probably not. More like it’s all part of the security thing. The reason you left your SO is irrelevant to me. You always seem unhappy and like you are settling for being unhappy by staying with him. Again, I can only base this on what you’ve said.

As far as the ex, has he physically gone after ds before? It sounds like things got extremely heated, whether this is common between them or been an eventual escalation matters.

No he's never gone after our son. My ex is a gentle soul, in fact I believe he is not stern enough with the children or anyone else in his life.

Then he’s probably very ashamed of how he reacted. I hope he’s alright. If he’s not answering calls, maybe send a text asking him to at least respond so that you and ds know he’s ok as you are both concerned.

[Anonymous 13]

So basically you just switched houses & brought your drama llama chaos with you & destroyed the relationships in both houses. Good job! Victim status level up! You got a 2 fer 1 deal! It will be hard for you to find a new sugar daddy while pregnant tho. Bad timing on your part. Hey wait, victim status level up again!

You are a piece of work.

[Anonymous 14]

I have personally found that when it seems like every other adult in my life is a jerk, asshole, stupid, the realty is that I am being the jerk, asshole, and acting stupid.

It can't always be the fault of someone else.

My ex was often a jerk and an ass. It doesn't mean i was innocent in that or that I was a saint. Maybe he bore 70 percent of our problems Idk. But unless her SO is a monster she bears some blame. And the only behavior she can change is hers.

[Lotus]

It seems like you're getting a lot of advice so I will just say try to learn from the past choices that you've made. [the preceeved] good, bad, & the downright ugly. I wish you all the best moving forward.