Do you feel people who pay child support

[LiveWhatULove]

I said in general cause I know there are times where it absolutely can cost more, especially if we are going to throw in child care, special needs that require special stuff, but not everyday living for a lot of families.

It’s possible that because I have 8 I’m seeing things differently, I’m also talking needs and not wants. The very basics of raising a child.

Childcare is a basic need, sorry, it just is...it’s not a want. A mother or father has to 1) pay someone to do it 2) or someone or a loved one has to sacrifice a work schedule to do it. And often it requires a massive cost to loss of wages if one stays home.

I didn’t say childcare isn’t....I conceded that it could change the numbers.

Then your children likely cost more than $600 a month too, lol!

[LiveWhatULove]

If you don't count food, shelter, utilities, the basic needs for a child don't cost that much, IMO. Just counting clothes, toys, and misc extra fun things I certainly am not spending $600 a month and I have 2 kids. Add in the grocery bill for both of them (and this is buying formula too) I don't even spend that amount.

This is ludicrous. Just daycare alone, so you can earn wages to provide shelter, food, healthcare and basic necessities is more than $600 for a single mother.

Although some people can swing different shifts with a willing partner, it’s not an option for everyone.

Do your children have sporting events or other activities? School fees & dues? That adds up quickly and in my eyes, is almost a necessity in middle class America.

I truly cannot wrap my mind around this.

No daycare for us or school fees, sports, etc.

You are outlier, it is not a normal American family.

[LuckyEightWow]

Childcare is a basic need, sorry, it just is...it’s not a want. A mother or father has to 1) pay someone to do it 2) or someone or a loved one has to sacrifice a work schedule to do it. And often it requires a massive cost to loss of wages if one stays home.

I didn’t say childcare isn’t....I conceded that it could change the numbers.

Then your children likely cost more than $600 a month too, lol!

Nope, my husband didn’t even bring home enough for each kid to cost $600 (8) at that time.

[mcginnisc]

I do think child support should be enforced. The children are innocent in the situation and deserve to have their needs met and maybe some wants as well.

[LiveWhatULove]

I didn’t say childcare isn’t....I conceded that it could change the numbers.

Then your children likely cost more than $600 a month too, lol!

Nope, my husband didn’t even bring home enough for each kid to cost $600 (8) at that time.

So you feel your earning potential and career potential is what? Worth nothing? Phooey. You would never be worth a wage in the work force? I think SAHMs should have a greater opinion of themselves and financial worth to the economy.

There is a reason childless couples have much more money. They stay in the work force. This is not a SAHMs debate, and I realize my economic major DH would cringe at my logic too, but every nearly every single SAHM, on this sight, cost their family the 100,000’s of dollars in loss of wages over the years. Sure you can say, “but it would have cost me even more to put them in daycare?” That’s my point, kids cost money, you can split hairs, and say they didn’t cost a thing, as your care is “free”. But I think that is a lie of omission.

It cost your family the wages you would make outside the home.

[Anonymous 12]

Assuming you contribute equally a month, between the two of you that would be $600 a month for one child. In general no child costs that much.

Should a parent go the extra mile? At the very least they should want to.

How is someone this stupid?

If you don't count food, shelter, utilities, the basic needs for a child don't cost that much, IMO. Just counting clothes, toys, and misc extra fun things I certainly am not spending $600 a month and I have 2 kids. Add in the grocery bill for both of them (and this is buying formula too) I don't even spend that amount.

I agree. When sd came to live with us, it cost us less than we had been giving bm in support, and she got more from us too - more extra curriculars, nicer clothes, etc. And we weren't spending 600 per month on her. I have to have a house to live in whether or not she was there. Of course we got no support from bm, but whatever on that.

OPs child is school age. He doesn't need all day childcare. So that's not a factor people need to be bringing into the discussion.

[LuckyEightWow]

Then your children likely cost more than $600 a month too, lol!

Nope, my husband didn’t even bring home enough for each kid to cost $600 (8) at that time.

So you feel your earning potential and career potential is what? Worth nothing? Phooey. You would never be worth a wage in the work force? I think SAHMs should have a greater opinion of themselves and financial worth to the economy.

There is a reason childless couples have much more money. They stay in the work force. This is not a SAHMs debate, and I realize my economic major DH would cringe at my logic too, but every nearly every single SAHM, on this sight, cost their family the 100,000’s of dollars in loss of wages over the years. Sure you can say, “but it would have cost me even more to put them in daycare?” That’s my point, kids cost money, you can split hairs, and say they didn’t cost a thing, as your care is “free”. But I think that is a lie of omission.

It cost your family the wages you would make outside the home.

Ha, no. I know my value as a SAHM.

[mcginnisc]

In our case, there is just no reason for me to work. If I had continued working, we would be in a higher tax bracket than we are now and ours already sucks. Losing my salary did not hurt us at all when I became a SAHM 12 years ago when Lilly came home. It actually helped us since it lowered our tax bracket a tiny bit.

Then your children likely cost more than $600 a month too, lol!

Nope, my husband didn’t even bring home enough for each kid to cost $600 (8) at that time.

So you feel your earning potential and career potential is what? Worth nothing? Phooey. You would never be worth a wage in the work force? I think SAHMs should have a greater opinion of themselves and financial worth to the economy.

There is a reason childless couples have much more money. They stay in the work force. This is not a SAHMs debate, and I realize my economic major DH would cringe at my logic too, but every nearly every single SAHM, on this sight, cost their family the 100,000’s of dollars in loss of wages over the years. Sure you can say, “but it would have cost me even more to put them in daycare?” That’s my point, kids cost money, you can split hairs, and say they didn’t cost a thing, as your care is “free”. But I think that is a lie of omission.

It cost your family the wages you would make outside the home.

[LiveWhatULove]

How is someone this stupid?

If you don't count food, shelter, utilities, the basic needs for a child don't cost that much, IMO. Just counting clothes, toys, and misc extra fun things I certainly am not spending $600 a month and I have 2 kids. Add in the grocery bill for both of them (and this is buying formula too) I don't even spend that amount.

I agree. When sd came to live with us, it cost us less than we had been giving bm in support, and she got more from us too - more extra curriculars, nicer clothes, etc. And we weren't spending 600 per month on her. I have to have a house to live in whether or not she was there. Of course we got no support from bm, but whatever on that.

OPs child is school age. He doesn't need all day childcare. So that's not a factor people need to be bringing into the discussion.

In many states, it very well is a discussion until age 12. What about summer, before and after care?

[Anonymous 12]

If you don't count food, shelter, utilities, the basic needs for a child don't cost that much, IMO. Just counting clothes, toys, and misc extra fun things I certainly am not spending $600 a month and I have 2 kids. Add in the grocery bill for both of them (and this is buying formula too) I don't even spend that amount.

I agree. When sd came to live with us, it cost us less than we had been giving bm in support, and she got more from us too - more extra curriculars, nicer clothes, etc. And we weren't spending 600 per month on her. I have to have a house to live in whether or not she was there. Of course we got no support from bm, but whatever on that.

OPs child is school age. He doesn't need all day childcare. So that's not a factor people need to be bringing into the discussion.

In many states, it very well is a discussion until age 12. What about summer, before and after care?

Summer is 10ish weeks of the year, and sd also needed after school care but the price wasnt at all comparable to all day childcare. I dont know what that has to do with "many states." I'm aware of these things as I lived them too. Still worked out to less than 600 per month overall. And before you say it, no I don't live in a low cost of living area.