I don't want to kick her out this close to her birthday

[agander2017]

She needs tough love, but you also need to be tactful in how you tell her these things. Encouragement will get you further than shaming her, or forcing her to do something. She's rebelling, and hard.

If she's not careful she's going to end up pregnant by one of these losers she dates, and then she's really going to need to grow up.

[luvthagirl]

Are you serious? Read what you just wrote to me. THAT answers your question. This is how you are talking about your DAUGHTER?

Yeah it is and it is the truth. Speaking the truth isnt shaming. I am not going sugar coat anything. She isnt a little child.

Ok. Well, I couldn't talk like that about my child, no matter how old my child was. Yeah, she needs to get it together. It seems that it will be in spite of you.

How would you address/handle the situation?

[AsteroidStar]

Yeah it is and it is the truth. Speaking the truth isnt shaming. I am not going sugar coat anything. She isnt a little child.

Ok. Well, I couldn't talk like that about my child, no matter how old my child was. Yeah, she needs to get it together. It seems that it will be in spite of you.

How would you address/handle the situation?

I would sit down with her and ask her if she has any idea what kind of career she sees herself in. I would ask her what her fears/worries are, and then help her figure out a way to conquer those fears and start moving in a positive direction. I would tell her that I love her and that is why I am so frustrated/upset that she is not believing in her own ability to succeed. I would make sure that she understood that, as an adult, she needed to actively contribute to the household, either by continuing her education(ie: giving me a return on my investment), or by working and contributing to the expenses. Then I would help her set up a workable plan that would help her keep herself accountable.

I would NOT speak to her as though she was worthless and a drain on society. I would control my temper.

[Vanillacupcake]

But it takes gas to get to those places. Where does that money come from

What area is there stuff to do with no money?

They find stuff to do that doesn't cost money.

Lakes, springs, state parks, camping. Something's just chilling at someone house.

[ReadingRainbow]

This is weird... some of you talk about your own child as though they’re just some random roommate that showed up one day.

[Guest]

But it takes gas to get to those places. Where does that money come from

What area is there stuff to do with no money?

Lakes, springs, state parks, camping. Something's just chilling at someone house.

Im not with them ao i honestly dont know

[luvthagirl]

Ok. Well, I couldn't talk like that about my child, no matter how old my child was. Yeah, she needs to get it together. It seems that it will be in spite of you.

How would you address/handle the situation?

I would sit down with her and ask her if she has any idea what kind of career she sees herself in. I would ask her what her fears/worries are, and then help her figure out a way to conquer those fears and start moving in a positive direction. I would tell her that I love her and that is why I am so frustrated/upset that she is not believing in her own ability to succeed. I would make sure that she understood that, as an adult, she needed to actively contribute to the household, either by continuing her education(ie: giving me a return on my investment), or by working and contributing to the expenses. Then I would help her set up a workable plan that would help her keep herself accountable.

I would NOT speak to her as though she was worthless and a drain on society. I would control my temper.

Hopefully you're never in this position with your adult child, but if you ever is, come back and let us all know how it goes

[AsteroidStar]

How would you address/handle the situation?

I would sit down with her and ask her if she has any idea what kind of career she sees herself in. I would ask her what her fears/worries are, and then help her figure out a way to conquer those fears and start moving in a positive direction. I would tell her that I love her and that is why I am so frustrated/upset that she is not believing in her own ability to succeed. I would make sure that she understood that, as an adult, she needed to actively contribute to the household, either by continuing her education(ie: giving me a return on my investment), or by working and contributing to the expenses. Then I would help her set up a workable plan that would help her keep herself accountable.

I would NOT speak to her as though she was worthless and a drain on society. I would control my temper.

Hopefully you're never in this position with your adult child, but if you ever is, come back and let us all know how it goes

I was in this position(or similar) with my (now)20 year old son. That is essentially how I handled it, and he is successfully adulting...working, paying bills...and knows that he has my full support and love. Sorry, but tough love does not mean treating a kid like they are worthless. It is possible to get one's point across without saying some of the angry, hateful things OP was saying about her own daughter.

[Guest]

I would sit down with her and ask her if she has any idea what kind of career she sees herself in. I would ask her what her fears/worries are, and then help her figure out a way to conquer those fears and start moving in a positive direction. I would tell her that I love her and that is why I am so frustrated/upset that she is not believing in her own ability to succeed. I would make sure that she understood that, as an adult, she needed to actively contribute to the household, either by continuing her education(ie: giving me a return on my investment), or by working and contributing to the expenses. Then I would help her set up a workable plan that would help her keep herself accountable.

I would NOT speak to her as though she was worthless and a drain on society. I would control my temper.

Hopefully you're never in this position with your adult child, but if you ever is, come back and let us all know how it goes

I was in this position(or similar) with my (now)20 year old son. That is essentially how I handled it, and he is successfully adulting...working, paying bills...and knows that he has my full support and love. Sorry, but tough love does not mean treating a kid like they are worthless. It is possible to get one's point across without saying some of the angry, hateful things OP was saying about her own daughter.

What hateful things have i said and how exactly am i treating her worthless cause i said she isn't doing shit with her life. That isn't hateful or treating her like she is worthless . So please explain how i am saying hateful things or treating her worthless.