Normal behavior??

[Pjmm]

Instigating fights with his little sister (she is 11 and he is 14). I know that is normal to fight, but man, they do it all the time! My DD can let it go quickly once they fight and my DS holds onto it and won't let his anger/moodiness go for hours to days from the argument.

Earlier today he was starting a fight with his sister and he had something of hers and I grabbed his arm to try to get it from him and he said "don't touch me!" in a really rude way! Man that made me mad! I have never hit/whipped my kids and the way he said it was so rude! Then he started tapping this heater thing we have plugged in and it was on...I started to notice a smell from it when he started tapping it (why was he tapping it anyways?) I told him to stop and he said why? I said I smell something and you shouldn't be doing that anyways. He said you don't smell something from it....me tapping it wouldn't make it smell! I told him I started smelling something weird from the heater once he started tapping it and that I am sick of his attitude! He just sat there and looked at me.

These are just a couple of examples from today. Sometimes there are worse examples and sometimes not as bad. Things have been building on winter break and my husband got home from work and I had him take DS out of the house to give me a break...I have never asked DH to do that before but I really needed to be away from DS and it's doesn't feel good to want to be away from my son. I have had serious talk with my son over the years here and there....I ask him why he is so moody sometimes, I remind him what a great life he has. These talks sometimes help for a few days and that's it. He acts so spoiled and rude sometimes. I hate it.

Can you give a few examples?

I would tell him look no arguments..I asked you to stop tapping and damn it you're going to do it. Ds15 argues. It's just a ploy to get away with things. So now I ignore that shit. I tell him and then I walk away. As far as his sister that's between them. I wouldn't get involved although I'd tell him look if you're going to hold a grudge do it elsewhere. I hate grudge holders though. It does get better. I've found being sympathetic instead of telling ods how good he has it is better. I say I'm sorry you feel badly and truly try to mean it. It seems to help him deal with a bad mood.

[SeekingPeace]

I did a LOT of ignoring during the teenage years. I can't tell you how many times I heard myself tell my husband, "When will you learn?....Do not even engage!" (LOL!) That either makes me a crappy parent. OR it makes me a WISE one! LOL I'll tell you what, though, it put a quick end to all the bickering between us as the parents and the hormonal teenager!

Instigating fights with his little sister (she is 11 and he is 14). I know that is normal to fight, but man, they do it all the time! My DD can let it go quickly once they fight and my DS holds onto it and won't let his anger/moodiness go for hours to days from the argument.

Earlier today he was starting a fight with his sister and he had something of hers and I grabbed his arm to try to get it from him and he said "don't touch me!" in a really rude way! Man that made me mad! I have never hit/whipped my kids and the way he said it was so rude! Then he started tapping this heater thing we have plugged in and it was on...I started to notice a smell from it when he started tapping it (why was he tapping it anyways?) I told him to stop and he said why? I said I smell something and you shouldn't be doing that anyways. He said you don't smell something from it....me tapping it wouldn't make it smell! I told him I started smelling something weird from the heater once he started tapping it and that I am sick of his attitude! He just sat there and looked at me.

These are just a couple of examples from today. Sometimes there are worse examples and sometimes not as bad. Things have been building on winter break and my husband got home from work and I had him take DS out of the house to give me a break...I have never asked DH to do that before but I really needed to be away from DS and it's doesn't feel good to want to be away from my son. I have had serious talk with my son over the years here and there....I ask him why he is so moody sometimes, I remind him what a great life he has. These talks sometimes help for a few days and that's it. He acts so spoiled and rude sometimes. I hate it.

Can you give a few examples?

I would tell him look no arguments..I asked you to stop tapping and damn it you're going to do it. Ds15 argues. It's just a ploy to get away with things. So now I ignore that shit. I tell him and then I walk away. As far as his sister that's between them. I wouldn't get involved although I'd tell him look if you're going to hold a grudge do it elsewhere. I hate grudge holders though. It does get better. I've found being sympathetic instead of telling ods how good he has it is better. I say I'm sorry you feel badly and truly try to mean it. It seems to help him deal with a bad mood.

[Ladyiq]

He is testing his boundaries, seeing what he can and cannot get away with. Pretty normal but it does need to be addressed. Disrespect should be handled immediately and with consequences that lets him know there is a line.

[Fullxbusymom]

I have a teenage son. He is my oldest. He is so moody and rude sometimes. Is this normal teenage behavior/hormones, etc or is he just being a pure ahole? I wasn't allowed to express any of my feelings or show that I was in a bad mood while I was growing up so I don't know if it's okay to allow him to be rude or punish him for it.

All normal but also not okay to be rude. I had to pull my 13 yr old up short on New Years Eve for pulling that crap with me. Needless to say he hasn't dared try to pull the crap with me again because he knows I won't tolerate it. He has every right to be grumpy but stay in your room if you need too. You have no right to take it out on your siblings or me.

[KendallsMom]

Does his father discipline him? My Dh has zero tolerance for disrespectful kids and would step in quickly if necessary. It shouldn't be all on you.

[Verrine]

Mine has gotten moody as well. I really wish I had my sweet baby instead! Mostly, he holes up in his room. My question is where does normal teenage moodiness stop and depression start? I think we're still ok.

I have an acquaintance whose daughter is twelve. He has always tolerated poor behavior from his kids. He said she is already saying, "talk to the hand." My son would never say that to his father! He is not allowed to be rude.

[RedBottoms]

Normal. I don't mind my kids being in a bad mood-but they are not allowed to be rude to me. If they want to go off and sulk on their own-that is fine. But smarting off to me or not answering my questions etc is not allowed. They get yelled at for that.

[Anonymous 4]

Its normal for the most part but I dont tolerate the disrespectful rude behavior.
I take away their gaming/screen time and I limit the time they spend with their friends on weekends. They also have very clean organized rooms. If they want to argue /yell, pick on each other and talk back to us.....I refuse to engage. I simply hand them the cleaning caddy, broom/mop/ bucket and walk away.
They can clean their rooms and bathrooms.