My weight is out of control

[Kookookrazy]

So this is my first semester at a university as a transfer student.My level of anxiety have been through the roof anxious wondering will i fit in the desks at school? Will i stick out like a sore thumb? My chronic health issues due to my weight...

So Ive just decided to drop a class because of it....well swap the class for an online course instead. It's just too much for me.

The class desk situation is horrible.The class is completely full I was wedged between two other students and the teacher did an introductory exercise where she wanted us to stand up for her questions i.e " stand up if it's your first semester, second etc. Stand up if you're an introvert etc"

I never stood up for any of the questions because physically I couldn't. I mean I could but I would knock the desk down and the chairs are fixed to the floor with no legroom and im well over 6 feet tall! So yeah it was a disaster!

At the end she said everyone should be standing up and everyone turned around and stared at me.I wanted to die a thousand deaths of embarrassment. I lied and sheepishly said Im sorry I have a sprained ankle.

When it was time to leave the class I am so overweight that it was difficult for me and I was embarrassed.

I have been on a diet and losing weight but clearly I havent lost enough.I lost 18 pounds over the summer.She is very class participation heavy and announced that we will be doing 4 group projects , 1 presentation where we will have to present to the class along with a couple 5 page papers.I am mortified. How will I wiggle out of the desk when they call on me without looking like a big doofy oaf?

Im taking 4 other courses online and i have another in person class but the desks are way more spacious and comfortable in that class . I also hate interacting with people due to my avoidant personality disorder .She asked us to exchange numbers with 2 classmates for study buddies and I just sat there.I didnt ask anyone because I just knew in my head no one would want to be my study buddy because of how I look but two girls asked me to be their study buddies .

Everyone is so young ,thin and vibrant and I look the complete opposite just old,fat ,sloppy and like I dont belong there.I havent bought any of the school pride gear I see people wear because I feel like I don't belong.

This is the second week of classes.I have gotten A's on all of my assignments and quizzes in all 5 classes so far.Thank God because I feel like crap.

[Kookookrazy]

I'm going to swap the class tomorrow. I decided to go one last time to see if I can deal with the desk .I feel like I should challenge myself to do the class in person.. force myself to interact with people,speak publicly for the presentation etc.Im still undecided .It would be so easy to just do the course online but I feel like that's taking the easy way out. I dont know what to do.

[Olioxenfree]

I would not recommend switching classes over an accessibility issue if you are doing well academically in it. You are there for an overall future goal, not to impress a bunch of college students you’ll never see again. Speak to the professor in private and see what can be done. For example she might be able to position you at the end of a row so getting up and down for presentations will be easier or she could arrange for you to go first so you’ll already be standing. My sister entered freshman year with physical ailments that limited movement. She worked with her professors to find the best options. Yes, there was occasional situations that caused her anxiety and embarrassment, it is never fun to be different, but she kept her mind on the reason why she was there and worked through it. There’s also likely an office for accommodations who can work with your doctor to enforce the best options for you. You’re not there to make best friends, you’re there to build a better future for you and your kids, so if someone else thinks something about you, they don’t matter. That’s their problem.

[Kookookrazy]

I would not recommend switching classes over an accessibility issue if you are doing well academically in it. You are there for an overall future goal, not to impress a bunch of college students you’ll never see again. Speak to the professor in private and see what can be done. For example she might be able to position you at the end of a row so getting up and down for presentations will be easier or she could arrange for you to go first so you’ll already be standing. My sister entered freshman year with physical ailments that limited movement. She worked with her professors to find the best options. Yes, there was occasional situations that caused her anxiety and embarrassment, it is never fun to be different, but she kept her mind on the reason why she was there and worked through it. There’s also likely an office for accommodations who can work with your doctor to enforce the best options for you. You’re not there to make best friends, you’re there to build a better future for you and your kids, so if someone else thinks something about you, they don’t matter. That’s their problem.

I dont think a fixed seat for me is possible .There is 60 people in the class and everyone sits wherever they want .The professor is the last to enter .The desks are conjoined in rows and they are fixed and its just long rows the seats only pull out but so far. The back row is way more spacious but it filled up immediately. I got to class ten minutes early and the only seats left were middle seats.It was horrible for me i kept apologizing for encroaching on their space.The professor is lovely but she's also very thin I dont think she will care I dont like how she singled me out when I didnt stand either.

[Anonymous 1]

I would not recommend switching classes over an accessibility issue if you are doing well academically in it. You are there for an overall future goal, not to impress a bunch of college students you’ll never see again. Speak to the professor in private and see what can be done. For example she might be able to position you at the end of a row so getting up and down for presentations will be easier or she could arrange for you to go first so you’ll already be standing. My sister entered freshman year with physical ailments that limited movement. She worked with her professors to find the best options. Yes, there was occasional situations that caused her anxiety and embarrassment, it is never fun to be different, but she kept her mind on the reason why she was there and worked through it. There’s also likely an office for accommodations who can work with your doctor to enforce the best options for you. You’re not there to make best friends, you’re there to build a better future for you and your kids, so if someone else thinks something about you, they don’t matter. That’s their problem.

I dont think a fixed seat for me is possible .There is 60 people in the class and everyone sits wherever they want .The professor is the last to enter .The desks are conjoined in rows and they are fixed and its just long rows the seats only pull out but so far. The back row is way more spacious but it filled up immediately. I got to class ten minutes early and the only seats left were middle seats.It was horrible for me i kept apologizing for encroaching on their space.The professor is lovely but she's also very thin I dont think she will care I dont like how she singled me out when I didnt stand either.

Can you get to class even earlier? Just take some other homework to do and do it while you wait.

[Kookookrazy]

I would not recommend switching classes over an accessibility issue if you are doing well academically in it. You are there for an overall future goal, not to impress a bunch of college students you’ll never see again. Speak to the professor in private and see what can be done. For example she might be able to position you at the end of a row so getting up and down for presentations will be easier or she could arrange for you to go first so you’ll already be standing. My sister entered freshman year with physical ailments that limited movement. She worked with her professors to find the best options. Yes, there was occasional situations that caused her anxiety and embarrassment, it is never fun to be different, but she kept her mind on the reason why she was there and worked through it. There’s also likely an office for accommodations who can work with your doctor to enforce the best options for you. You’re not there to make best friends, you’re there to build a better future for you and your kids, so if someone else thinks something about you, they don’t matter. That’s their problem.

I dont think a fixed seat for me is possible .There is 60 people in the class and everyone sits wherever they want .The professor is the last to enter .The desks are conjoined in rows and they are fixed and its just long rows the seats only pull out but so far. The back row is way more spacious but it filled up immediately. I got to class ten minutes early and the only seats left were middle seats.It was horrible for me i kept apologizing for encroaching on their space.The professor is lovely but she's also very thin I dont think she will care I dont like how she singled me out when I didnt stand either.

Can you get to class even earlier? Just take some other homework to do and do it while you wait.

I suppose but not really. I drop dd off at her classes in the mornings her class is at 9:30 than i drive across town to my college and im there like 10 minutes early but i cant get there earlier than that.

[Kookookrazy]

Looks like I'm completely screwed. I just went to swap to the online course and its no longer available. It was empty yesterday with all seats available now it's gone.

I want to drop the class.I dont want to do group projects,I dont want to stand up and do any presentations in front of 60 people and I dont want to be uncomfortable in the seats all semester. Im going to go through my degree audit and see if i can swap the class for another class and than I can take this course online next semester. Im so upset I shouldve swapped it when i had a chance but the deadline was the 6th idk why the hell they took it off early

[SallyMae]

I remember when I first when back to school being absolutely stricken that I had a class conflict that was messing me up and I missed the deadline to fix it, or something. I was pulling my hair and crying, and today I can't even remember what the class or the problem was. It all worked out.

I know it seems huge right now but it's part of college, and all the hassle will fade away when you have your degree and your ticket to a new life in hand.

Hang in there, roll with the changes and don't give up. Good luck Koo!

[MonarchMom]

Please try to remember that others have faced their own obstacles to education over skin color, age, physical ability, income, gender and religion. You deserve to be educated just as much as all the others who face challenges.

All that matters is you getting the education you are entitled to. What other people think, feel, believe or understand is their problem, not yours. Is the teacher being ableist? Yes, it sounds that way. Do you want to look back on this and say 'I decided to forgo education because of a jerk?' That is up to you.

Perhaps you can go to the counseling office, or whoever oversees accessibility, and make a case for allowing you to get the seating accommodations you need, or additional online access.

Congratulations on your health improvements and your education goals. I am happy for you and wish you the best.

[MonarchMom]

Also - the title of this thread should be "School is being ableist" It is their job to make class available to students.