I get that sometimes at work or on my workplace social media but have never gotten that from my personal social media as I'm really selective on whom I have as "friends". If it was something that was occurring a lot on my personal social media, I'd take a look at my friends list and re-evaluate my relationships.
Work, sure. I get hit on by men and women and I'm pretty quick to let people know that while flattered, I'm not interested. Generally, I don't know their marital status and don't care. I'm currently single but not looking for a relationship.
Why are people so adulterous?
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"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show its own shame." - Oscar Wilde
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As a species I think we have set ourselves up to fail when it comes to mating and adultery. We aren't penguins. We aren't meant by nature to take only one mate for life. We aren't even meant to take one mate at a time. But we've created this society that expects all of us to at least mate only one at a time, and still expects a lot of us to mate only one for life. Hence we've set ourselves up to fail. Hence why adultery and divorce rates are so high. I think if we managed our expectations to more closely match our nature, we wouldn't have so much disappointment in this area.SallyMae wrote: ↑Thu May 25, 2023 3:44 pm If you want to know why people are anything, the answer is always the same. We are this because we evolved this way, to meet the challenges of surviving as small bands of hunter-gatherers on the savanna. A group like that succeeds best when some of the people are adulterous.
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You are right, people do have unrealistic expectations. But, interestingly, marriage and expectations of faithfulness are *also* part of what we evolved, almost every culture has them. It's pretty important from a genetic standpoint to know who's DNA you are providing for. Both forces exist at the same time: a strong propensity to form exclusive bonds, AND the strong propensity to evade or ignore the bonds at times. The rich mix these forces create provides the most stability for the group, as well as opportunities for unique genetic mixes.Traci_Momof2 wrote: ↑Fri May 26, 2023 12:17 pmAs a species I think we have set ourselves up to fail when it comes to mating and adultery. We aren't penguins. We aren't meant by nature to take only one mate for life. We aren't even meant to take one mate at a time. But we've created this society that expects all of us to at least mate only one at a time, and still expects a lot of us to mate only one for life. Hence we've set ourselves up to fail. Hence why adultery and divorce rates are so high. I think if we managed our expectations to more closely match our nature, we wouldn't have so much disappointment in this area.SallyMae wrote: ↑Thu May 25, 2023 3:44 pm If you want to know why people are anything, the answer is always the same. We are this because we evolved this way, to meet the challenges of surviving as small bands of hunter-gatherers on the savanna. A group like that succeeds best when some of the people are adulterous.
It's always these forces - stability and change - that govern human group behavior.
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For good or ill, social expectations have changed.Anonymous 1 wrote: ↑Tue May 23, 2023 3:45 pm people are sick!
And it is relative to the society you live in. What would be acceptable in one place will be seen as cause for a duel to the death in another.
Part of the reason is the pill and genetic matching.
Part of the reason is internet anonymity, and women gaining more economic autonomy in marriages.
Part of the reason is the increase in average lifespan and the decrease in religious authority.
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I've long held the thought that we weren't meant for lifetime monogamy and that it goes against our nature. If this was how we were designed, it wouldn't be such a struggle and we wouldn't have a lot of the problems we have.Traci_Momof2 wrote: ↑Fri May 26, 2023 12:17 pmAs a species I think we have set ourselves up to fail when it comes to mating and adultery. We aren't penguins. We aren't meant by nature to take only one mate for life. We aren't even meant to take one mate at a time. But we've created this society that expects all of us to at least mate only one at a time, and still expects a lot of us to mate only one for life. Hence we've set ourselves up to fail. Hence why adultery and divorce rates are so high. I think if we managed our expectations to more closely match our nature, we wouldn't have so much disappointment in this area.SallyMae wrote: ↑Thu May 25, 2023 3:44 pm If you want to know why people are anything, the answer is always the same. We are this because we evolved this way, to meet the challenges of surviving as small bands of hunter-gatherers on the savanna. A group like that succeeds best when some of the people are adulterous.
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IDK.
It’s a bit off topic — but yet, it is some what reminiscent of the question — why did so many “respectable” men travel to Epstein island. Like why? Because they think they won’t get caught? Because they are morally bankrupt?
It’s a bit off topic — but yet, it is some what reminiscent of the question — why did so many “respectable” men travel to Epstein island. Like why? Because they think they won’t get caught? Because they are morally bankrupt?
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Yes and yes.LiveWhatULove wrote: ↑Sat May 27, 2023 12:33 pm IDK.
It’s a bit off topic — but yet, it is some what reminiscent of the question — why did so many “respectable” men travel to Epstein island. Like why? Because they think they won’t get caught? Because they are morally bankrupt?