As for your children—you have I knowingly subjected them to your cycle of dysfunction. I say this from experience.
I was brought up in an environment of domestic abuse - not we children but parents inflicting torment and physical pain on each other. My mother would attempt to put us against our father, tried (still does) to make my grandmothers out to be these horrible women. She would also call us names and generally be awful UNTIL her mood swung. Yet, if you bring any of this up she will tell us we are wrong. Our family wasn’t dysfunctional. She never said I was a lesbian. She never hit my dad. She never threw a dinner plate on the floor. We just don’t remember right.
We ALL have baggage, even those who profess to make 7 figures a year, have wonderful marriages, had great parents etc. However it isn’t that baggage that makes or breaks us, it’s what we do
With it.
Me, like my mother, I’m a yeller. I don’t want to be but the second the boys do not comply with my request—unload the dishwasher I become my Mom verbally.
So my dear—be HONEST with your therapist. Also, if you feel they aren’t helping DO NOT give up. Find another one IMMEDIATELY!
Good luck.
Kookookrazy wrote: ↑Sat Feb 04, 2023 3:56 pmI did not inflict any cycle on my children. I already broke the cycle. I don't call my children names or demean them nor do I talk down to them and as far as physical abuse i stopped spanking them years ago. Dd17 has never been spanked, I stopped spanking ds years ago . Spanking isn't even that bad imo there's a difference between a spanking and outright abuse I was physically abused with wet extension cords,brooms,mops,a 2x4 piece of wood ,I was jumped by my mom and grandmom and beat so bad cps removed me from the home for a few weeks. I have NEVER done any of that to my kids .Am i a perfect parent? Heck no but I take pride in the fact that I haven't done what was done to me so I don't appreciate the tone of your post regarding my children. This post is about me and my journey not my children but you threw my kids in it to put me down as a mom and i don't appreciate that.Olioxenfree wrote: ↑Sat Feb 04, 2023 3:08 pm I honestly do hope that you get help and realize the cycle that you inflict on your children, so that they can live healthier lives.
And before someone else brings it up I know full well that i lost my temper with dd a couple years ago and i dragged her out of bed by her hair because she refused to go to school that was wrong and i haven't done anything like that since .I fucked up I'm human! Sue me.