Nopeville wrote: ↑Sun Jul 12, 2020 12:14 am
Anonymous 4 wrote: ↑Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:40 pm
Nopeville wrote: ↑Sat Jul 11, 2020 11:31 pm
To me, holding elevator doors, like everything else you mentioned has nothing to do with being a "gentleman". It's about being a good human being. If you had girls would they have been exempt from basic manners? Would they have been taught to expect that their brothers and other men should cater to them?
I will hold an elevator door for a child, an older person, a pregnant woman, etc, but if I’m in an elevator with a man I expect him to hold the door while I (and everyone else that’s not a man) exit. I suppose there is a pecking order in my mind, and if you *think* there isn’t one in your own mind I’ll ask you when the last time is that you gave up your seat to a young non-disabled man. I’m guessing the answer is NEVER.
Right and I would NEVER expect one to give up his seat for me, unless I was pregnant or visibly I'll. Why would I?
I suppose it’s simply my expectation based on past experience. When I am out with my family, one of my children or my DH always gets the door for me. When I worked in NYC, it was extraordinarily rare that a man didn’t insist I take his seat on a crowded subway.
Most of my recent experience with giving up seats is on airport shuttles, Disney transportation, public transportation in large US and European cities where we are vacationing, and it’s incredibly rare to see a man sitting when it is crowded. I personally do think it’s rude for a man to sit down when women and / or young children are standing. My oldest will absolutely insist that women and / or younger children take his seat and so will my DH. You can think my position is sexist, but it is certainly common based on my experience.
You can raise your children however you would like, but I’m going to raise mine to be gentlemen. Have we really gotten to the point in our society where it’s bad to be a gentleman?
And before you start to think that I’m all about traditional gender roles, I have a JD and have held a “real” job pretty constantly since I’ve graduated from college (including when I was in law school). I am not reliant on a man to provide for me or my family, and while I do most of the cooking the trade off is my DH and children do the dishes and clean the kitchen every night.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with men acting like gentlemen, and I honestly think it should be encouraged. A man holding the door or offering you his seat is nothing to get worked up about.