We were invited again

Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:52 pm she didn't say what you said "asking if he was eating". she said do we have to feed him. Have to? And they always have plenty of food and she doesn't even cook..they have it catered. If you don't have enough for one extra kid, that's a problem. But they always have enough.
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:47 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 3:00 pm I said it could be considered rude. Not everyone thinks that so that’s why I said it could. How is that not acknowledging my part in it? She obviously thought it was rude. Okay. I didn’t do it on purpose to piss her off. But what she said was on purpose to be rude. Period.

Askung if he was eating is not being rude. Thats called making sure if they have enough food
Catering the meal makes it even more rude that you dropped this on her last minite. Jist like with a wedding caters get paid by the head count. A catered Christmas dinner (in my area) is 25 dollars per head.

Do you invite other peopl to other people's catered events such as wedding,christaining etc....Because thats rude as f**k too. Why can't you admit you were wrong in the first place...
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highlandmum wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:53 pm If you want to go just say “we would love to come but you know we will have “insert name” staying with us at that time”. See then what she says.
This is exactly what I'd do.
i want candy!
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highlandmum wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:53 pm If you want to go just say “we would love to come but you know we will have “insert name” staying with us at that time”. See then what she says.
This is exactly what I'd do.
i want candy!
Anonymous 1

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I didn't know she was catering it until we got there. There is zero communication except day and time to come. I seriously doubt it was 25 bucks a person..it was pinwheel wraps or whatever they were called and some salad that she got from a store and picked up. Why can't you admit it was rude as F to say do we have to feed him?
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:09 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:52 pm she didn't say what you said "asking if he was eating". she said do we have to feed him. Have to? And they always have plenty of food and she doesn't even cook..they have it catered. If you don't have enough for one extra kid, that's a problem. But they always have enough.
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:47 pm

Askung if he was eating is not being rude. Thats called making sure if they have enough food
Catering the meal makes it even more rude that you dropped this on her last minite. Jist like with a wedding caters get paid by the head count. A catered Christmas dinner (in my area) is 25 dollars per head.

Do you invite other peopl to other people's catered events such as wedding,christaining etc....Because thats rude as f**k too. Why can't you admit you were wrong in the first place...
Anonymous 1

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Yeah that's really rude of her to throw your son out of the house! And of course your nephew is just repeating things he hears from your sister which is awful! Your sister needs to apologize to you and your son.
Dylexsmommy wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:03 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:47 pm What does your sister say/do? I mean, they are your kids so of course they would be with you!! does she ever come to your house?
Dylexsmommy wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:46 pm

Yeah I would decline.
I don't go to my sisters house anymore because she's like that regarding my kids too. We won't go where we're not wanted. She can suck a rock.

Its a long story.
She's an evil bitch. Hahaha. For real though. Shes literally shoved my ODS out of the house and kicked him out permanantly dropping a glass in her kitchen. Amongst other less horrible things. At the time her neighborhood was still in development and there were predators like Bobcats. It was dark and I was outside already packing up the car to leave and she shoved him out the door and slammed it in his face. I took him back inside and she started screeching at us that he wasnt allowed in her house anymore.
I yelled back saying I'm not leaving my child outside by himself in the dark. We left right afterwards and haven't been back.

About a month ago she came over to my parents house (me and the boys are living there while im in school) with her son and her son immediately started talking shit about my YDS. I told him if he's gonna talk like that he can leave. Her son and mine are both 6 so it kinda pissed me off because he's not saying that because it's his own opinion but something he heard.

Anyway. She got all pissy that I yelled at him and my mom went off on her defending me by making points about all the shit she does to my kids. (Like shoving my ODS out of the house). She left and disappeared for a month.
Finally reappeared at my moms this last weekend and didn't say one word to any of us. She literally only talked to our dad and ignored me, both sons and my mom.

I would never ever allow her to hurt my sons again. We will not ever go over there again.
There are way too many people who love us that we can spend time with for me to worry about one person.

Oh and here's the kicker. She used to beg me to let my ODS live with her because "she's not gonna deal with his shit".

Sorry, it turned into a vent.
Anonymous 1

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If it was the first thing SIL has ever done that seems rude, then maybe I could try to think she didn't mean it badly, but I know she did because she is a rude person in general. The "have to" part is rude. She could have said will he be eating with us? But if it was me, I wouldn't even say that...I would assume that and be fine with it. But we are 2 very different people and so I know I will never tell her that I am bringing my nephew again...if I decide we will go to their house and then something comes up with my nephew and he will be with us, I will ask her first and not assume she would be okay with it like I would be or we won't go.

My DH's aunt and uncle have a 30 something year old special needs child that lives on her own and has a job...she lives in an adult facility that helps special needs adults. Anyways, if his aunt and uncle were coming to our house for Christmas and they said they would have their daughter with them this year, I would say cool no problem! And I would assume she is eating with us because that's what you do. I barely know their DD but that's okay!
Smarties wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 5:46 pm I think you're making too much of your sister being rude to you. Im not even sure she was intentionally rude to you at all. You didn't ask if it was okay to bring along a teen boy to her house for the holidays. That's a big deal to some people. I think you need to extend an olive branch for some peace again between you.

If you want to go, I would ask if its okay if you bring him, and let her know how much time he would be there before his dad came and got him.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:23 pm Yeah that's really rude of her to throw your son out of the house! And of course your nephew is just repeating things he hears from your sister which is awful! Your sister needs to apologize to you and your son.
Dylexsmommy wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 2:03 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:47 pm What does your sister say/do? I mean, they are your kids so of course they would be with you!! does she ever come to your house?


Its a long story.
She's an evil bitch. Hahaha. For real though. Shes literally shoved my ODS out of the house and kicked him out permanantly dropping a glass in her kitchen. Amongst other less horrible things. At the time her neighborhood was still in development and there were predators like Bobcats. It was dark and I was outside already packing up the car to leave and she shoved him out the door and slammed it in his face. I took him back inside and she started screeching at us that he wasnt allowed in her house anymore.
I yelled back saying I'm not leaving my child outside by himself in the dark. We left right afterwards and haven't been back.

About a month ago she came over to my parents house (me and the boys are living there while im in school) with her son and her son immediately started talking shit about my YDS. I told him if he's gonna talk like that he can leave. Her son and mine are both 6 so it kinda pissed me off because he's not saying that because it's his own opinion but something he heard.

Anyway. She got all pissy that I yelled at him and my mom went off on her defending me by making points about all the shit she does to my kids. (Like shoving my ODS out of the house). She left and disappeared for a month.
Finally reappeared at my moms this last weekend and didn't say one word to any of us. She literally only talked to our dad and ignored me, both sons and my mom.

I would never ever allow her to hurt my sons again. We will not ever go over there again.
There are way too many people who love us that we can spend time with for me to worry about one person.

Oh and here's the kicker. She used to beg me to let my ODS live with her because "she's not gonna deal with his shit".

Sorry, it turned into a vent.
She never will. She's a bitch and thinks there's nothing wrong with any of her behavior.
My mom keeps telling me i should just forgive her and that I shouldn't let my relationship with her break over something so "trivial". But f**k that and f**k her.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:30 pm If it was the first thing SIL has ever done that seems rude, then maybe I could try to think she didn't mean it badly, but I know she did because she is a rude person in general. The "have to" part is rude. She could have said will he be eating with us? But if it was me, I wouldn't even say that...I would assume that and be fine with it. But we are 2 very different people and so I know I will never tell her that I am bringing my nephew again...if I decide we will go to their house and then something comes up with my nephew and he will be with us, I will ask her first and not assume she would be okay with it like I would be or we won't go.

My DH's aunt and uncle have a 30 something year old special needs child that lives on her own and has a job...she lives in an adult facility that helps special needs adults. Anyways, if his aunt and uncle were coming to our house for Christmas and they said they would have their daughter with them this year, I would say cool no problem! And I would assume she is eating with us because that's what you do. I barely know their DD but that's okay!
Smarties wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 5:46 pm I think you're making too much of your sister being rude to you. Im not even sure she was intentionally rude to you at all. You didn't ask if it was okay to bring along a teen boy to her house for the holidays. That's a big deal to some people. I think you need to extend an olive branch for some peace again between you.

If you want to go, I would ask if its okay if you bring him, and let her know how much time he would be there before his dad came and got him.

Honey, please don't take this the wrong way, but you don't come across well to me in your descriptions of various events. There are two sides to every story. You aren't owning your side of things at all. That makes me think you are probably more of a problem than you are willing to admit. If she's communicating to you what her boundaries are, start showing her that you respect them so she doesn't feel the need to reinforce them in ways you don't think are pleasant. Asking if your nephew can come is a good place to begin. Best of luck.
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Honestly I would just say no thank you, we have already made plans. Yes, you probably should have asked if your nephew could come but that is not the end of the world and only a nasty, small person would actually have the nerve to say "do we have to feed him?" as if that is at all okay.

Since he's going to be with you for the next holiday, just skip her event. If it's that big of a deal that an extra person comes, less people need to be there and my household would happily decline her invitation because no one should be subject to that kind of nonsense from someone who sounds like she gets out of bed in the morning to be an awful person.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:45 pm Would you say why you are declining or just say a simple we can't make it?
caustib wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:43 pm I would just decline.
I would most definitely say. People are rude because they're not called on it.
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