We were invited again

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Vegaswife2011
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:45 pm Would you say why you are declining or just say a simple we can't make it?
caustib wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:43 pm I would just decline.
Just say sorry you won’t be able to make it.
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Looks like 3 options! Lol! But in my mind, I think of passive aggressive things I could say but when I actually say them/text them,etc it just makes my heart beat faster and it feels negative and in reality, I don't want to be anything like her or people like that. Me and her have talked before over the years and she is the type that will act nice for a tiny bit and act like she cares and says she wants to see us more and her kids love my kids, etc, etc and then there is zero action on her part. I will try and she does not try back. Her words mean nothing to me anymore. And then most of the time she is just a rude B and I don't enjoy being around that type of person. I had so many rude family members that it was my normal growing up so I always had a high threshold for rudeness but I don't have that anymore...I would rather be alone than to be around rude bitches/aholes now. Her tiny bit of "niceness" kept me holding on thinking she was going to be nicer. Nope.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:04 pm So you have two options: (1) Don't go and enjoy the peace. (2) Go and have fun bating the bitch. Using passive-aggressiveness against can be fun. As can baiting her. Deliberately saying 'off-handed' or back-handed compliments to see how long it takes for her to blow her top. Or go and be perfectly miserable and drink your feelings.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:54 pm I don't want to...at all. I have been doing it for my kids and her kids to see each other. But as the years go on, the less I want to be around her energy and b*tchiness. Her DH (my DH's brother) has no balls in the relationship so she 1000% controls everything so it's not like we can get together without her being there.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:48 pm She sounds like a total bitch. Why would you want to spend any time with her at all?
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Yeah, that's not calling her out. And I wouldn't have brought leftovers. I would have said "Yes he will be coming with us, and yes you have to feed him. Will that F***ing be a problem since you F***ing invited us?"
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:13 pm We told her why he was going to be with us and that's when she said do we have to feed him. I was shocked and pissed and I said no, we will bring leftovers and I did.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:06 pm WTF haven't you called her out on that? ie "WTF do you mean, SIL? Of course we're bringing him, he's F***ing family."
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:52 pm When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.

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God believe me I wanted to say something like that! In reality she didn't invite my nephew and the way she acted about it, I knew she was mad that we said he would be with us for a few hours since he needs a ride to my brother's house. It was her passive aggressive way to get a "dig" in that she did not like that and I know that's why she said do we have to feed him.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:27 pm Yeah, that's not calling her out. And I wouldn't have brought leftovers. I would have said "Yes he will be coming with us, and yes you have to feed him. Will that F***ing be a problem since you F***ing invited us?"
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:13 pm We told her why he was going to be with us and that's when she said do we have to feed him. I was shocked and pissed and I said no, we will bring leftovers and I did.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:06 pm WTF haven't you called her out on that? ie "WTF do you mean, SIL? Of course we're bringing him, he's F***ing family."
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:13 pm We told her why he was going to be with us and that's when she said do we have to feed him. I was shocked and pissed and I said no, we will bring leftovers and I did.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:06 pm WTF haven't you called her out on that? ie "WTF do you mean, SIL? Of course we're bringing him, he's F***ing family."
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:52 pm When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.

You brought leftovers for your nephew? WTH?
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I'd reply with "Thank you for inviting us but the (insert # of family members including nephew) of us have decided we're going to have a nice family holiday at home. "
Total absence of humor renders life impossible
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Yes it was obviously a problem to SIL about feeding him so we brought leftovers (we made ham the day before in the smoker) and we brought potatoes. He ended up eating what they had and they had so many leftovers but me and DH ate some of the ham we brought. So my nephew knew nothing about anything she said or that we were bringing leftovers for him.I didn't want him to feel bad and awkward.
Vegaswife2011 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:33 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:13 pm We told her why he was going to be with us and that's when she said do we have to feed him. I was shocked and pissed and I said no, we will bring leftovers and I did.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:06 pm WTF haven't you called her out on that? ie "WTF do you mean, SIL? Of course we're bringing him, he's F***ing family."
You brought leftovers for your nephew? WTH?
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It is WAY F***ing past time to say that!!! Tell the bitch off.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:31 pm God believe me I wanted to say something like that! In reality she didn't invite my nephew and the way she acted about it, I knew she was mad that we said he would be with us for a few hours since he needs a ride to my brother's house. It was her passive aggressive way to get a "dig" in that she did not like that and I know that's why she said do we have to feed him.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:27 pm Yeah, that's not calling her out. And I wouldn't have brought leftovers. I would have said "Yes he will be coming with us, and yes you have to feed him. Will that F***ing be a problem since you F***ing invited us?"
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:13 pm We told her why he was going to be with us and that's when she said do we have to feed him. I was shocked and pissed and I said no, we will bring leftovers and I did.

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I'd decline the invitation. She sounds like a bitch. Tell her you already have plans.
Anonymous 1

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I would love to say that or something like "looks like we will have our nephew again so we are going to hang out at my brother's/his dad's house this year"....wish that really could be true but my brother got a divorce and lives in an apartment and refuses to let anyone come to his place. Plus he's an alcoholic and never know how he is gonna act.
stilltfez wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:35 pm I'd reply with "Thank you for inviting us but the (insert # of family members including nephew) of us have decided we're going to have a nice family holiday at home. "
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