We were invited again

Anonymous 1

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I don't want to...at all. I have been doing it for my kids and her kids to see each other. But as the years go on, the less I want to be around her energy and b*tchiness. Her DH (my DH's brother) has no balls in the relationship so she 1000% controls everything so it's not like we can get together without her being there.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:48 pm She sounds like a total bitch. Why would you want to spend any time with her at all?
Anonymous 1

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It's not an "always" thing so she wouldn't know that. It's always random times. Part of me wants to say that we can't come because my nephew will be with us since she reacted so badly last time about it.
highlandmum wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:53 pm If you want to go just say “we would love to come but you know we will have “insert name” staying with us at that time”. See then what she says.
Anonymous 3

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:39 pm I am the one that posted about my SIL asking if they need to feed my nephew since we said that we would have him with us last year. Now they just invited us for Christmas and we will have my nephew with us again. Should I just decline saying that we will have my nephew again or do I ask if it's okay to bring him (although I know she doesn't want me to...or at least that's how she acts). WWYD?
Seriously?
Sweetie, you are a gluttton for punishment and rude bitchy behavior from SIL, lol
Anonymous 1

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I'm not sure what you are trying to say. You either typed the wrong words or forgot to insert some of the words. Please explain.
Anonymous 3 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:58 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:39 pm I am the one that posted about my SIL asking if they need to feed my nephew since we said that we would have him with us last year. Now they just invited us for Christmas and we will have my nephew with us again. Should I just decline saying that we will have my nephew again or do I ask if it's okay to bring him (although I know she doesn't want me to...or at least that's how she acts). WWYD?
Seriously?
Sweetie, you are a gluttton for punishment and rude bitchy behavior from SIL, lol
Deleted User 670

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So you have two options: (1) Don't go and enjoy the peace. (2) Go and have fun bating the bitch. Using passive-aggressiveness against can be fun. As can baiting her. Deliberately saying 'off-handed' or back-handed compliments to see how long it takes for her to blow her top. Or go and be perfectly miserable and drink your feelings.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:54 pm I don't want to...at all. I have been doing it for my kids and her kids to see each other. But as the years go on, the less I want to be around her energy and b*tchiness. Her DH (my DH's brother) has no balls in the relationship so she 1000% controls everything so it's not like we can get together without her being there.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:48 pm She sounds like a total bitch. Why would you want to spend any time with her at all?
Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:52 pm When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.
MonarchMom wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:49 pm If I had a teen or child staying with me I would not go anywhere he was not made to feel welcome.
Inviting other people to other people's home without permission or knowlege is the very epotome of rudness
Deleted User 670

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WTF haven't you called her out on that? ie "WTF do you mean, SIL? Of course we're bringing him, he's F***ing family."
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:52 pm When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.
MonarchMom wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:49 pm If I had a teen or child staying with me I would not go anywhere he was not made to feel welcome.
Anonymous 1

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okay, sure, it could be considered rude as well that i said we would have my nephew with us because he needed a ride to his dad's house and she lives near his dad but his dad would not be home for a few hours so my nephew would be with us. my inlaws tell us when they are coming for christmas day..they never ask what time they should be there..they tell us. i consider that to be rude and i don't like it, but do i say a rude comment to them about it? No! I complain to my DH about it, he does and says nothing and we go on about our merry way and treat his parents nicely and with respect. Just because someone does something that you (in general, not you specifically) thinks is rude doesn't equal a rude response back. My nephew is a kid that needed a ride and it's the holidays...she didn't need to act the way she did about it.
Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:04 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:52 pm When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.
MonarchMom wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:49 pm If I had a teen or child staying with me I would not go anywhere he was not made to feel welcome.
Inviting other people to other people's home without permission or knowlege is the very epotome of rudness
caustib
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:45 pm Would you say why you are declining or just say a simple we can't make it?
caustib wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:43 pm I would just decline.
I would just say we cant make it. I dont let people treat the children in my life poorly, so if she wanted to press the issue, I would tell her that. But I dont create drama unnecessarily.
Anonymous 1

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We told her why he was going to be with us and that's when she said do we have to feed him. I was shocked and pissed and I said no, we will bring leftovers and I did.
pinkbutterfly66 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 1:06 pm WTF haven't you called her out on that? ie "WTF do you mean, SIL? Of course we're bringing him, he's F***ing family."
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:52 pm When that happened last year, I was in shock but we still went. SIL treated him nicely when we were there but it felt so fake. I'm sure she was saying "do we have to feed him?" as a "dig" to me for not specifically asking if he could come with us but I didn't think it would be a big deal but to her it seemed that it was.
MonarchMom wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 12:49 pm If I had a teen or child staying with me I would not go anywhere he was not made to feel welcome.
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