He Stole All The Presents

Anonymous 1

Unread post

My 8 yr old son found all of the presents that I’d wrapped and stole them and played with them. He took his, his brothers, his sisters, even gifts that I got for my sister. One of the presents was a switch lite and I caught him trying to set it up. I thought he was asleep and I was watching tv downstairs when it happened.

He got into the presents under my bed and in my attic. I’m incredibly upset that he did this and he seems to have no remorse because after I took stuff away and put it in my closet he went and took some of it back out of my closet while I slept. Dh and I don’t think he should get anything for Christmas. I was talking to my sil because I was so angry last night and she’s one of my best friends she suggested I make him rewrap everything and he doesn’t get it until Christmas or just give him one thing and take the rest back.

What would you all do?

I’m at a loss and angry that I spent that much time and money just so he could take it all. I don’t even think I can return most of it because of ripped boxes.
Olioxenfree
Princess
Princess
Posts: 11408
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 5:53 pm

Unread post

I would make him rewrap everyone else's gifts and then I'd bring him to go donate his gifts to a child who will appreciate them and he'd get nothing. 8 is way too old for that.
User avatar
Ladyiq
Marchioness
Marchioness
Posts: 649
Joined: Tue May 29, 2018 11:11 am
Location: Atlanta, GA

Unread post

I honestly could not imagine. Has he always stolen? Showed lack of remorse for doing things he knows is wrong? Is he mentally challenged? If this isnt a pattern I would probably take away all the things that he enjoys and ground him. I would make him write a letter apologizing to me and explaining why it was wrong. I would still allow him Christmas but I wouldnt wrap his since its not longer a surprise.
User avatar
Quorra2.0
Regent
Regent
Posts: 4822
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2018 10:39 am

Unread post

Kids can have poor impulse control and sometimes it’s takes some longer to learn that control. I am not one for forced apologies, gentle nudging fine but forced apologies aren’t genuine and doesn’t teach the child. If you got him any necessities, clothes, socks, underwear, shoes, those Id still give him. If you do Santa, I’d remind him that only children on Santa’s nice list gets toys. I’d maybe set aside 1 fun item, and take him to donate the rest. The 1 fun item can be given later if he behaves Christmas Day, doesn’t throw a tantrum for not getting toys, isn’t nasty to siblings because they got gifts, didn’t have an attitude about donating the other items, and gives you a genuine apology.
User avatar
carterscutie85
Princess
Princess
Posts: 11954
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 10:19 am

Unread post

My 10 year old knows where we hide the gifts but he also knows he'd be in deep shit pulling something like that.

If it was me, I'd take all but one present and either take them back or make him donate them. Then I'd make him use his own money to buy more wrapping paper and rewrap everything.
Anonymous 1

Unread post

Ladyiq wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 7:54 am I honestly could not imagine. Has he always stolen? Showed lack of remorse for doing things he knows is wrong? Is he mentally challenged? If this isnt a pattern I would probably take away all the things that he enjoys and ground him. I would make him write a letter apologizing to me and explaining why it was wrong. I would still allow him Christmas but I wouldnt wrap his since its not longer a surprise.
He has some psychiatric and behavioral issues and does steal regularly but never anything like this. Usually it’s sneaking a box of cookies or I’ll find bowls in his room of chocolate syrup. He used to take my debit card and money but hasn’t done that in 2 years. He has that attitude where if he wants it he has to have it and if you say no then he’ll wait until you leave the room to get it. I never thought he would take all of the presents including ones that didn’t belong to him. He’s never shown remorse for anything he’s done even if he hurts someone he doesn’t care until he gets in trouble but he will turn it around on the person disciplining him like it’s their fault he got in trouble and is being punished.
User avatar
stilltfez
Regent
Regent
Posts: 2109
Joined: Tue May 22, 2018 8:22 am

Unread post

Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 8:38 am
Ladyiq wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 7:54 am I honestly could not imagine. Has he always stolen? Showed lack of remorse for doing things he knows is wrong? Is he mentally challenged? If this isnt a pattern I would probably take away all the things that he enjoys and ground him. I would make him write a letter apologizing to me and explaining why it was wrong. I would still allow him Christmas but I wouldnt wrap his since its not longer a surprise.
He has some psychiatric and behavioral issues and does steal regularly but never anything like this. Usually it’s sneaking a box of cookies or I’ll find bowls in his room of chocolate syrup. He used to take my debit card and money but hasn’t done that in 2 years. He has that attitude where if he wants it he has to have it and if you say no then he’ll wait until you leave the room to get it. I never thought he would take all of the presents including ones that didn’t belong to him.
this is not in any way blaming you. I just am curious as to why you wouldn't place locks on closets knowing he stole $$ from you at a younger age.

as for punishments? give the standards, clothing, pjs, etc but not the super fun things you were planning to give. give him a book and a puzzle instead. nothing high tech but still something to open on Christmas.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible
User avatar
CotterpinDoozer
Donated
Donated
Regent
Regent
Posts: 2528
Joined: Mon May 21, 2018 11:57 am

Unread post

Wow, I'm really sorry. I wish I had better advice, but I'm going to agree with some of the others, he gets necessities only. Also, get a lock to keep him out of things. Is he seeing any type of specialist to curb the problems?
Image
Anonymous 1

Unread post

CotterpinDoozer wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 9:06 am Wow, I'm really sorry. I wish I had better advice, but I'm going to agree with some of the others, he gets necessities only. Also, get a lock to keep him out of things. Is he seeing any type of specialist to curb the problems?
He has a psychiatrist and a therapist and is on abilify
Anonymous 1

Unread post

stilltfez wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 8:41 am
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 8:38 am
Ladyiq wrote: Wed Dec 04, 2019 7:54 am I honestly could not imagine. Has he always stolen? Showed lack of remorse for doing things he knows is wrong? Is he mentally challenged? If this isnt a pattern I would probably take away all the things that he enjoys and ground him. I would make him write a letter apologizing to me and explaining why it was wrong. I would still allow him Christmas but I wouldnt wrap his since its not longer a surprise.
He has some psychiatric and behavioral issues and does steal regularly but never anything like this. Usually it’s sneaking a box of cookies or I’ll find bowls in his room of chocolate syrup. He used to take my debit card and money but hasn’t done that in 2 years. He has that attitude where if he wants it he has to have it and if you say no then he’ll wait until you leave the room to get it. I never thought he would take all of the presents including ones that didn’t belong to him.
this is not in any way blaming you. I just am curious as to why you wouldn't place locks on closets knowing he stole $$ from you at a younger age.

as for punishments? give the standards, clothing, pjs, etc but not the super fun things you were planning to give. give him a book and a puzzle instead. nothing high tech but still something to open on Christmas.
I never thought to put locks on my closets because he’s never taken anything from there and I don’t normally put anything of value in them. It’s not where his presents were originally I just didn’t know where to put the stuff I took back because he already got under my bed and the attic. I keep my bedroom door unlocked when I sleep because his siblings are younger and sometimes come in if they need something or have nightmares.

Giving him a book instead of his tech presents is a good idea thanks. The thing that really gets me is him taking his siblings stuff like duplo blocks and opening them up he’s not even interested in stuff like that and then opening my sisters presents box and all which was stuff for her new house. I don’t know why he would even take that stuff.
Locked Previous topicNext topic