Tween texting

[LiveWhatULove]

Do you look at or check your tweens or teens text history?

I see both sides, private/trust (Don’t look) vs. guidance Dealing with mature issues (look). I have heard crazy sexting stories about teens who appeared bright, mature and Who appear they would never look or do such things, yet they did.

I doubt there is right or wrong, depends on the child/family, but I was curious what your practices are...

[wildflowers25]

I look at texts on my kid's phones both for safety, because they are minors and, as unpopular as this might be, I pay their phone bills. I do try and respect privacy as much as possible but on this I do not budge. There is a lot of crazy in the world today.

[agander2017]

My son of course is too little for any of this, but if he has a phone as a teenager, I will be checking his phone. I need to make sure he's safe when he's on it, and that he isn't doing anything stupid.

[xsxpxixdxexrxsx]

My oldest doesn't have a phone and he doesn't go online, but when he start I will probably check periodically.

[Linda_Runs]

When my oldest turned 12 she became a walking to and from school student. At that time we put a cell phone in her hand. With that came us checking her texts. She is not allowed to delete them.

[mcginnisc]

Not really. Lilly has never given us a reason to not trust her. She is super bright and super strict morally ( on herself..part of that is due to her martial arts training). Karli has an ipod and only texts me, DH, her aunts/uncles, her grandparents, and a couple of friends ( older teens from co-op and her younger BFF) so there is no reason to check her texts either. They know that if I ask to look at their devices, they are to hand them over. I have their security codes and they have to ask before changing them, but neither have changed them in years. Neither of them use social media either so I don't worry about that issue.

[Anonymous 1]

Not really. Lilly has never given us a reason to not trust her. She is super bright and super strict morally ( on herself..part of that is due to her martial arts training). Karli has an ipod and only texts me, DH, her aunts/uncles, her grandparents, and a couple of friends ( older teens from co-op and her younger BFF) so there is no reason to check her texts either. They know that if I ask to look at their devices, they are to hand them over. I have their security codes and they have to ask before changing them, but neither have changed them in years. Neither of them use social media either so I don't worry about that issue.

This is pretty much my situation too. My oldest does have a phone and knows I can check it whenever I want, but I’ve only checked it once and that was primarily to let him know I would do it - not because I suspected anything.

[Anonymous 2]

No

[mcginnisc]

We just got Lilly a phone a couple of months ago because I was tired of not being able to reach her on her ipod due to spotty internet when she was away from us. She knows we could check it, but we don't so far. She is just so responsible and mature and well, she tells me what she is texting when she is texting it the majority of time so there has been no need.

Not really. Lilly has never given us a reason to not trust her. She is super bright and super strict morally ( on herself..part of that is due to her martial arts training). Karli has an ipod and only texts me, DH, her aunts/uncles, her grandparents, and a couple of friends ( older teens from co-op and her younger BFF) so there is no reason to check her texts either. They know that if I ask to look at their devices, they are to hand them over. I have their security codes and they have to ask before changing them, but neither have changed them in years. Neither of them use social media either so I don't worry about that issue.

This is pretty much my situation too. My oldest does have a phone and knows I can check it whenever I want, but I’ve only checked it once and that was primarily to let him know I would do it - not because I suspected anything.

[Anonymous 3]

All. The. Time
The phones belong to me and I can check them anytime I please.
I allow them to borrow my phones with the understanding that I:
have all the passwords to all sites and games, can check the phones at anytime and can take the phones away at anytime.
They understand all of our rules and agreed to the rules.
But I found only porn in the history one time with my oldest and she swears it was her friend that looked it up.
DH is computer tech and white hat hacker, they cant delete or hide anything.
Its my job to police what they do and say in real life and on the phone.