Im not a selfish person *confession time

[Anonymous 3]

Wow, these women are rude!

One doesn't need details to know that doing what you think is the right thing is the right choice. I know it's hard. I've felt very similar to what you're describing, and honestly the only way I've found to protect myself is to not get close to a lot of people. I'm not recommending that as a healthy option, it's just what I've done.

[Pjmm]

Could you be projecting your feelings onto people? Maybe they're not in the pain you think they are. You can also advise or help them in other ways that are acceptable to you. For example say they asked for a loan of a thousand dollars for idk.. surgery. "I don't have that to give. I simply don't. But let's see if there's a business in town that will help you fundraise, lets see if you're eligible for Medicaid, have you tried a personal loan? "
You're also allowed to feel lousy. You care and that's a human thing. You also can't do everything and so you have to decide what you can do. And be satisfied with that.

[Quorra2.0]

From the combination of information given and lacking, this isn’t about being selfish vs selfless. There’s a huge difference between being selfless and being a people pleaser, just as there’s a huge difference between self-love and selfish. What you do is people please, what you should learn is self love.

[Beachbrat]

Im truly not meant to be a selfish person. Im not saying this as an "Im so perfect" way. Im saying this because I finally, after so many years, decided to take everyone's advice and be a little selfish for myself. To put myself first for once. I dont know how long I can keep this up. It doesnt feel good. People lied when they said putting myself first and taking care of myself will help and make me feel better. As of right now I feel like the shittiest person in the world. It is ripping at my gut. Its almost not worth it. Just looking into someone's eyes, as they are counting on you, and you turning them down.. seeing that pain in their face because now they probably feel like they are alone in a world of hurt. This doesnt feel good to me. I thought maybe everyone was right. I mean I was miserable before, not being selfish. I have always wished that I could be like everyone else and walk away from people and to say no. It was hell having to be spread so thin. But now it feels worse............ WTF cant this be easy for me? Is it supposed to suck this bad? I cant win for losing. I can either spread myself too thin as I always do, putting others way above my own needs and hate it... Or I feel the pain of letting someone else down and worry about them the whole time I am supposed to be thinking of myself.

Im messed up somewhere.. this is messed up. I thought once I got the words out "no".. after I said that it would be easy and I would feel better after it was done. Thats not how it happened at all. I finally said no, and I looked at this persons face and a look of defeat came over them and they just left. And I only said no because I know that its the right thing to do. Not just for me but for them and their situation too. I thought long and hard about the whole thing, and this is the right thing to do. JFC! why does it suck so bad? I wish I didnt care so much. I really wish that I was a cold hearted selfish bitch. I wish I didnt feel so deeply for people. I wish I didnt feel at all.

JFC...How many points did you get for that long ass whiny repeated dribble drabble?

JFC how many points did you get for being a bitch!? Maybe she just needed to get the babbling out of her head so it would stop bothering her. Maybe people just need to get it out so they feel better. Who do cunts always thinks about some stupid ass points that mean anything!?

[mater-three]

...

[SisterSomeone]

Look, regardless of what it was that you feel so bad about refusing to do, I will tell you one thing, Learning when and how to be selfish, say no, walk away, and not feel bad about it is the single most important lesson I have ever learned in my life. In fact, I would go as far as saying that I credit all my success and achievements in life to that particular skill.

Here's a cold hard fact: if you're selfless, giving and willing to spread yourself thin to help others, up to 90% of people in your life will recognize this as a pattern and take advantage of it. The main difference between people who can be selfish without remorse and people like you who can't is that the first group already figured this out either through experience or a naturally cynical disposal.

You need to realize two things. The first is that you don't have the responsibility in life to help anyone other than your children, and the second is that you should stop projecting your own emotions onto other people. Honestly, odds are that this person you said no to isn't half as defeated or troubled as you thought they were. They will most likely figure things out and be okay without your help. To me, it sounds like you are feeling guilty for not helping this person, and you're reading their reaction in a way that validates your need to beat yourself up. Calm down, breathe. You'll feel better when you see that this person's probably going to be okay without you. Rinse and repeat enough times and you just might learn how to say no more often.

[LiveWhatULove]

Good God, what did you say no about? Are you always this dramatic or was it actually something really big?

LMAO, you were meant to be the the first response with your SN, that’s funny.

[Anonymous 2]

Im truly not meant to be a selfish person. Im not saying this as an "Im so perfect" way. Im saying this because I finally, after so many years, decided to take everyone's advice and be a little selfish for myself. To put myself first for once. I dont know how long I can keep this up. It doesnt feel good. People lied when they said putting myself first and taking care of myself will help and make me feel better. As of right now I feel like the shittiest person in the world. It is ripping at my gut. Its almost not worth it. Just looking into someone's eyes, as they are counting on you, and you turning them down.. seeing that pain in their face because now they probably feel like they are alone in a world of hurt. This doesnt feel good to me. I thought maybe everyone was right. I mean I was miserable before, not being selfish. I have always wished that I could be like everyone else and walk away from people and to say no. It was hell having to be spread so thin. But now it feels worse............ WTF cant this be easy for me? Is it supposed to suck this bad? I cant win for losing. I can either spread myself too thin as I always do, putting others way above my own needs and hate it... Or I feel the pain of letting someone else down and worry about them the whole time I am supposed to be thinking of myself.

Im messed up somewhere.. this is messed up. I thought once I got the words out "no".. after I said that it would be easy and I would feel better after it was done. Thats not how it happened at all. I finally said no, and I looked at this persons face and a look of defeat came over them and they just left. And I only said no because I know that its the right thing to do. Not just for me but for them and their situation too. I thought long and hard about the whole thing, and this is the right thing to do. JFC! why does it suck so bad? I wish I didnt care so much. I really wish that I was a cold hearted selfish bitch. I wish I didnt feel so deeply for people. I wish I didnt feel at all.

JFC...How many points did you get for that long ass whiny repeated dribble drabble?

JFC how many points did you get for being a bitch!? Maybe she just needed to get the babbling out of her head so it would stop bothering her. Maybe people just need to get it out so they feel better. Who do cunts always thinks about some stupid ass points that mean anything!?

Not as many points as you received posting this reply being a bitch. Why do the FA group cunts always think they can tell others what they can/cant post in response to a post?

[LiveWhatULove]

I am sorry you feel this way. I am naturally a people pleaser, it’s hard to achieve a balance. I agree with the other poster, self-care and self-love does not necessarily start with saying “no” to everyone.

[Beachbrat]

JFC...How many points did you get for that long ass whiny repeated dribble drabble?

JFC how many points did you get for being a bitch!? Maybe she just needed to get the babbling out of her head so it would stop bothering her. Maybe people just need to get it out so they feel better. Who do cunts always think its about some stupid ass points that mean anything!?

Not as many points as you received posting this reply being a bitch. Why do the FA group cunts always think they can tell others what they can/cant post in response to a post?

I guess the same reason you bitches come on these posts offering nothing but cunty replies
Btw no where in my reply did i tell you what you could or could not post.