I can’t make anyone not do something, but that doesn’t mean I should condone scrupulous behavior. Nor should I encourage it, like you did.
I feel like such a F***ing failure
“People do it every day” is nothing but argumentum ad populum.
I can’t make anyone not do something, but that doesn’t mean I should condone scrupulous behavior. Nor should I encourage it, like you did.
I can’t make anyone not do something, but that doesn’t mean I should condone scrupulous behavior. Nor should I encourage it, like you did.
Again? I’ve never spoken to you about this.
Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.
Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.
Dylexsmommy wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:25 amApples to cheeseburgers again.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:13 am A yacht would make me happy long term. Should I go buy one and then just not pay for it because my happiness is paramount to my responsibility? Because that’s exactly what you’re saying.
Bubbs wrote: ↑Sun Jun 16, 2019 11:18 am
There’s two types of bankruptcies, one every thing is discharged. And the other is debt consolidation.
Personal responsibility is important, but not at the sake of long term happiness. It sounds like an abusive situation and I think some she use every avenue available to get themselves out of that.
Not at all the same situation.
Come back when you have an inkling of what an abused woman goes through, then we'll talk.
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- Marchioness
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So everyone should just stay in every shitty situation that they might have gotten themselves into? That's ridiculous.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:47 pm Yes. She put herself in the situation.
Bubbs wrote: ↑Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:38 pmIf she is in a situation that she will never get out of the debt, should she stay in a miserable marriage, living a miserable life, for money?Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:36 pm Don’t file bankruptcy. It’s your debt. Society shouldn’t have to pick up your tab.
Bankruptcy laws exist for a reason. Ok should use them, not just for herself, but to give her child a better life.
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I think staying in an abusive relationship is worse than not paying a bill or two. I don’t believe that filing bankruptcy is unscrupulous behavior as you seem to.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:23 am “People do it every day” is nothing but argumentum ad populum.
I can’t make anyone not do something, but that doesn’t mean I should condone scrupulous behavior. Nor should I encourage it, like you did.
Bubbs wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:01 amAnonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:32 am You didn’t answer my question. Answer mine if you’d like me to answer yours.
No, I don’t believe someone should buy things they cannot afford with no intention of paying for it. But, people do it every day. I didn’t answer because if you chose to do that, who am I to tell you not to?
Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind, 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.
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And that is not necessarily true. Abuse has a dynamic that goes deeper than “allowing” someone to treat you poorly.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:25 am Again? I’ve never spoken to you about this.
Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.
Dylexsmommy wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:25 amApples to cheeseburgers again.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:13 am A yacht would make me happy long term. Should I go buy one and then just not pay for it because my happiness is paramount to my responsibility? Because that’s exactly what you’re saying.
Not at all the same situation.
Come back when you have an inkling of what an abused woman goes through, then we'll talk.
Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind, 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.
She should get out of it herself. Her bad choices aren’t society’s problem.
She stays in this relationship. She continues to make the same choices day after day. She’s 60K in debt. That’s not “a bill or two.”
Bubbs wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:43 amI think staying in an abusive relationship is worse than not paying a bill or two. I don’t believe that filing bankruptcy is unscrupulous behavior as you seem to.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:23 am “People do it every day” is nothing but argumentum ad populum.
I can’t make anyone not do something, but that doesn’t mean I should condone scrupulous behavior. Nor should I encourage it, like you did.
- Valentina327
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Then put a stop to that. What's wrong with you? You're the sole income. He's not contributing. Stop putting your paycheck where he can get to it. Very simple. I'd he wants to spend money, let him go earn it.destinyangl21 wrote: ↑Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:18 pmI'm trying to save as much as I can but he spends it all.
Why is he not taking care of the child while you're at work if he's not working? There should be no child care expense.
Who's paying his child support? You? Then stop. They're going to cart him off to jail then your problem is solved. He'll be gone and not mooching off of you any longer.
The first time someone abuses you, be it physical, mental, etc. and you stay, you’re giving them permission to do it again. You’re saying it’s okay.
Bubbs wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:45 amAnd that is not necessarily true. Abuse has a dynamic that goes deeper than “allowing” someone to treat you poorly.Anonymous 8 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 9:25 am Again? I’ve never spoken to you about this.
Also, I don’t especially care what an abused woman goes through. People are treated how they allow themselves to be treated.
Dylexsmommy wrote: ↑Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:25 am
Apples to cheeseburgers again.
Not at all the same situation.
Come back when you have an inkling of what an abused woman goes through, then we'll talk.
- stilltfez
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I'm not going to attack for the sake of attacking.
I am going to suggest you take steps if this is something you know is your future. If it is a threat you make and never act on, my words are wasted so stop reading now.
You need to separate your present finances. Open an acct in your name only. Start putting a small amount in weekly. Save up enough for the deposit on a studio or 1 bed room. Be prepared to discuss a change in sitter fees with your sitter should you leave. Your debt vs income should qualify you for assistance in mental health care and treatment. Make an appt and sit down and begin a debt consolidation plan with a qualified professional. Discuss future moving with trusted friends and family. They will be of great help if you do move. Focus your energy forward instead of wallowing. Look into sharing an apt. with another mother. Begin fixing your mess now.
I wish you the best and hope you find your happy.
I am going to suggest you take steps if this is something you know is your future. If it is a threat you make and never act on, my words are wasted so stop reading now.
You need to separate your present finances. Open an acct in your name only. Start putting a small amount in weekly. Save up enough for the deposit on a studio or 1 bed room. Be prepared to discuss a change in sitter fees with your sitter should you leave. Your debt vs income should qualify you for assistance in mental health care and treatment. Make an appt and sit down and begin a debt consolidation plan with a qualified professional. Discuss future moving with trusted friends and family. They will be of great help if you do move. Focus your energy forward instead of wallowing. Look into sharing an apt. with another mother. Begin fixing your mess now.
I wish you the best and hope you find your happy.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible