Do you feel people who pay child support

[Anonymous 12]

Yeah, I understand she’s frustrated, but she’s the one that chose to have a child with a guy with a low income and she’s the one that decided to be apart that guy with low income. Those are the consequences of her choices, and it’s no one else’s responsibility to better her situation. If the guy is paying what the courts determined was the right amount considering his income, then that’s that. He’s doing what he’s legally obligated to do. If she wants something better for herself, then it’s up to her to make it happen.

An extra room doesn’t double the rent. If anything, he should be paying half that extra room, not half her rent.
And CS is calculated by income. If that’s what the courts determine he can and should contribute, he doesn’t have to pay for “extras” if he doesn’t want to. It would be nice, but he doesn’t have to.

Extra bedrooms in this area add a substantial amount to the rent. Children cost a lot of money. I don't blame OP for her frustration. Her ex should take on a part-time job or get a different job so he can pay more.

$300 here wouldn't cover half of daycare or after school care. $300 wouldn't come close to covering half of what's needed for most children. It's a joke.

Exactly this. If the guy is meeting his legal obligation to the kid as a person with low income, it's up to her if she wants her child to have more than the bare minimum to contribute more of her money. Sure it would be nice if he developed his career and earned more money and had some more ambition and contributed more. But his legal obligation ends at 300 dollars. There are two parent households that spend less than that on a child and as long as the child's very basic needs are met, they are meeting their legal obligations and that's all there is to it.

No one is saying this guy is a wonderful father here that I've read. But arguments that include utility bills doubling over one 8 year old (or rents being doubled for one extra bedroom, or that dad should be responsible for half the rent) seem inflated to me and it makes it difficult to take them seriously.

[Anonymous 6]

He’s paying what the law tells him to pay. That’s not a deadbeat dad. A deadbeat dad is the one who weasels out of paying what he’s obligated to pay. And THAT is the point. If the guy is happy and satisfied with his salary and the lifestyle that brings him, that’s his business. The guy’s a loser, but he’s not a deadbeat dad.
And again, OP chose to have a relationship with the guy and have a child with him. These are the consequences of her choice. That’s life. He doesn’t owe her more financially than what the law determines. If it’s $300, then that’s that. She can always ask for more, see if the courts agree with her, but as of now, he’s doing what he’s meant to do.

Well, that’s the thing. If she uses it to pay half her rent, then she shouldn’t be complaining that it’s not enough for her child’s other needs. Maybe it would be enough if she used it for what it’s meant to be. But she’s blowing a certain amount of it on something it’s not meant to pay for.

You're not seeing the whole point. $300 isnt shit when it comes to child support she is pretty much supporting her child on her own not to mention if i remember the post correctly he never even sees the kid.. he is a deadbeat dad.

Op stated that he quit a good paying job and took a lower paying job. So yes he is a deadbeat dad not to mention he never see his kid that is the very definition of a deadbeat dad. He is a worthless pos dead beat dad.

[Momto2boys973]

Who’s paying what he’s legally obligated to pay. Which is more than what many actual deadbeat dads do.
Regardless, OP chose that guy as father of her child. That’s HER choice and she’s facing the consequences. She shouldn’t be whining about the consequences of her actions. If she wants more, then she should make it happen, not demand it handed down to her.
Fact is that when one party doesn’t want to be a parent, then the party that does is screwed. It sucks, but that’s the way it is. A man doesn’t have a saying in whether or not a woman has his baby. If she doesn’t want it, he’s screwed. A woman has at least the right to demand a man pay up even if he doesn’t want to be a father. Besides that, she has no saying if he’ll be an actual father or contribute more.

He’s paying what the law tells him to pay. That’s not a deadbeat dad. A deadbeat dad is the one who weasels out of paying what he’s obligated to pay. And THAT is the point. If the guy is happy and satisfied with his salary and the lifestyle that brings him, that’s his business. The guy’s a loser, but he’s not a deadbeat dad.
And again, OP chose to have a relationship with the guy and have a child with him. These are the consequences of her choice. That’s life. He doesn’t owe her more financially than what the law determines. If it’s $300, then that’s that. She can always ask for more, see if the courts agree with her, but as of now, he’s doing what he’s meant to do.

You're not seeing the whole point. $300 isnt shit when it comes to child support she is pretty much supporting her child on her own not to mention if i remember the post correctly he never even sees the kid.. he is a deadbeat dad.

Op stated that he quit a good paying job and took a lower paying job. So yes he is a deadbeat dad not to mention he never see his kid that is the very definition of a deadbeat dad. He is a worthless pos dead beat dad.

[Anonymous 6]

Who’s paying what he’s legally obligated to pay. Which is more than what many actual deadbeat dads do.
Regardless, OP chose that guy as father of her child. That’s HER choice and she’s facing the consequences. She shouldn’t be whining about the consequences of her actions. If she wants more, then she should make it happen, not demand it handed down to her.

He’s paying what the law tells him to pay. That’s not a deadbeat dad. A deadbeat dad is the one who weasels out of paying what he’s obligated to pay. And THAT is the point. If the guy is happy and satisfied with his salary and the lifestyle that brings him, that’s his business. The guy’s a loser, but he’s not a deadbeat dad.
And again, OP chose to have a relationship with the guy and have a child with him. These are the consequences of her choice. That’s life. He doesn’t owe her more financially than what the law determines. If it’s $300, then that’s that. She can always ask for more, see if the courts agree with her, but as of now, he’s doing what he’s meant to do.

Op stated that he quit a good paying job and took a lower paying job. So yes he is a deadbeat dad not to mention he never see his kid that is the very definition of a deadbeat dad. He is a worthless pos dead beat dad.

She choose a man who had a good paying job. How was she to know he would quit to keep from paying more in child support
She can complain about whatever she likes. And all she wants is for her child father to do his part especially since she is playing mom and dad. I know you live in shit Mexico but in the states raising a child cost money. A lot of it.

[MrsDavidB]

That’s perfectly fine. But again, she shouldn’t be demanding more money when she’s using the money she’s getting on things it’s not meant to pay.
I can understand just putting everything together and budgeting when you have sources of income agreed upon by all parties involved. But when you’re given money for a specific reason, then you need to be sure it goes to that reason. If you want to use the all-in-one-pile approach, cool. But then don’t complain and demand more money when things don’t add up.

I don't think people calculate it like that, I don't.
it goes into the bank and is part of the household money and what is needed is done.
Any extras, anything gets paid out of the same account.

Why can't she complain if she think he should do more?

Complaints are complaints, people complain all the time. she get $300 - that isn't anything.
she is probably using it for what it is for - food, clothing, shelter, utilities, sports, school fees. The list goes on and on. And of course the mom is the one that is expected to "make do" and dad just can say he doesn't have it. SMH.
Not my complaint, because my ex is ok about it and I don't like to ask anyway.
But I get it.

I just did some math on this. Assuming the guy pays from birth. $300x12 months a year is $3,600. X 18 years is $64,800.

Now this from the Dept of Agriculture: Adding a child represents a major financial stress: The cost of raising a child today is $233,610 – excluding the cost of college – for a middle-income family, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

So, this guy is getting off easy

[Momto2boys973]

I’m sure he didn’t quit his job as CEO of PepsiCo to be a dishwasher at a restaurant. I’m sure the difference in salaries wasn’t that dramatic.
But it’s interesting... if a woman decides she doesn’t want to be a mother and avoids that within the law, she’s brave, and mature and responsible and possibly “pro-choice” if that’s where her decision took her. But if a man decides he doesn’t want to be a father and avoids that while following the the law, he’s a “deadbeat”. Why is that?

Who’s paying what he’s legally obligated to pay. Which is more than what many actual deadbeat dads do.
Regardless, OP chose that guy as father of her child. That’s HER choice and she’s facing the consequences. She shouldn’t be whining about the consequences of her actions. If she wants more, then she should make it happen, not demand it handed down to her.

Op stated that he quit a good paying job and took a lower paying job. So yes he is a deadbeat dad not to mention he never see his kid that is the very definition of a deadbeat dad. He is a worthless pos dead beat dad.

She choose a man who had a good paying job. How was she to know he would quit to keep from paying more in child support
She can complain about whatever she likes. And all she wants is for her child father to do his part especially since she is playing mom and dad. I know you live in shit Mexico but in the states raising a child cost money. A lot of it.

[MrsDavidB]

Because the child is here. Born and breathing. And the child deserves to be supported by the 2 people who made it.

I’m sure he didn’t quit his job as CEO of PepsiCo to be a dishwasher at a restaurant. I’m sure the difference in salaries wasn’t that dramatic.
But it’s interesting... if a woman decides she doesn’t want to be a mother and avoids that within the law, she’s brave, and mature and responsible and possibly “pro-choice” if that’s where her decision took her. But if a man decides he doesn’t want to be a father and avoids that while following the the law, he’s a “deadbeat”. Why is that?

Who’s paying what he’s legally obligated to pay. Which is more than what many actual deadbeat dads do.
Regardless, OP chose that guy as father of her child. That’s HER choice and she’s facing the consequences. She shouldn’t be whining about the consequences of her actions. If she wants more, then she should make it happen, not demand it handed down to her.

She choose a man who had a good paying job. How was she to know he would quit to keep from paying more in child support
She can complain about whatever she likes. And all she wants is for her child father to do his part especially since she is playing mom and dad. I know you live in shit Mexico but in the states raising a child cost money. A lot of it.

[Momto2boys973]

Oh, that’s for sure. He did get off easy. But that’s on the courts, not on him. OP is free to ask for more CS, of course. She just shouldn’t expect it.

That’s perfectly fine. But again, she shouldn’t be demanding more money when she’s using the money she’s getting on things it’s not meant to pay.
I can understand just putting everything together and budgeting when you have sources of income agreed upon by all parties involved. But when you’re given money for a specific reason, then you need to be sure it goes to that reason. If you want to use the all-in-one-pile approach, cool. But then don’t complain and demand more money when things don’t add up.

Complaints are complaints, people complain all the time. she get $300 - that isn't anything.
she is probably using it for what it is for - food, clothing, shelter, utilities, sports, school fees. The list goes on and on. And of course the mom is the one that is expected to "make do" and dad just can say he doesn't have it. SMH.
Not my complaint, because my ex is ok about it and I don't like to ask anyway.
But I get it.

I just did some math on this. Assuming the guy pays from birth. $300x12 months a year is $3,600. X 18 years is $64,800.

Now this from the Dept of Agriculture: Adding a child represents a major financial stress: The cost of raising a child today is $233,610 – excluding the cost of college – for a middle-income family, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

So, this guy is getting off easy

[Anonymous 17]

They shouldn’t have to but it would be nice for them to get the child a birthday or Christmas present. It’s best to not rely on the other parent though. You never know when they’ll stop paying or what bs they’ll pull.

[Momto2boys973]

That’s all very beautiful, but the child is here because SHE decided the child would be here. Therefore the chunk of the responsibility falls on her. He’s not a deadbeat for not wanting to be a father to a child that he didn’t want anymore than she should be a deadbeat for getting rid of a child she didn’t want. When a choice is taken away from someone we can’t go around bitching at them for not embracing the consequences. When the full choice of whether a child is born falls on women, then we can’t blame the men for not embracing those consequences. We want the exclusive rights? Good. But that means we have more responsibilities. And dumping those responsibilities on others isn’t another one of those “rights”.

Because the child is here. Born and breathing. And the child deserves to be supported by the 2 people who made it.

I’m sure he didn’t quit his job as CEO of PepsiCo to be a dishwasher at a restaurant. I’m sure the difference in salaries wasn’t that dramatic.
But it’s interesting... if a woman decides she doesn’t want to be a mother and avoids that within the law, she’s brave, and mature and responsible and possibly “pro-choice” if that’s where her decision took her. But if a man decides he doesn’t want to be a father and avoids that while following the the law, he’s a “deadbeat”. Why is that?

She choose a man who had a good paying job. How was she to know he would quit to keep from paying more in child support
She can complain about whatever she likes. And all she wants is for her child father to do his part especially since she is playing mom and dad. I know you live in shit Mexico but in the states raising a child cost money. A lot of it.