I am sitting here alone today trying to make sense of the shit in my head

[Guest]

There goes your marriage of convenience. I knew you were going to fail and I knew you married a man you didn't love just to spite your ex. What a nasty mess.

[Bubbs]

There goes your marriage of convenience. I knew you were going to fail and I knew you married a man you didn't love just to spite your ex. What a nasty mess.

Well 1. There was nothing about this marriage that was convenient and I still love him. If he could have gotten help for his problems, I would be with him now.
2. It wasn’t for spite, because my ex had moved on and didn’t care.

So I’m sorry that your hypothesis of me and my motives is incorrect.
And thanks. I needed some stranger to tell me I fucked up, when I’m living it and completely aware

[Lotus]

They are so skilled at making you feel like the world rises and sets in your presence, until it doesn't. The only thing that has changed is the way they now treat you. You chase the feeling like an addict. The gas lighting and mind F***ing -lord the feeling that you are losing your mind.
Glad to see you are moving through the roller coaster of emotions. I'm sure you are devastated, best wishes to you.

[Bubbs]

They are so skilled at making you feel like the world rises and sets in your presence, until it doesn't. The only thing that has changed is the way they now treat you. You chase the feeling like an addict. The gas lighting and mind F***ing -lord the feeling that you are losing your mind.
Glad to see you are moving through the roller coaster of emotions. I'm sure you are devastated, best wishes to you.

That describes it exactly. I’m going crazy with this no contact, but I know it’s for the best. And yes I’m definitely devastated .
Thank you

[Lotus]

They are so skilled at making you feel like the world rises and sets in your presence, until it doesn't. The only thing that has changed is the way they now treat you. You chase the feeling like an addict. The gas lighting and mind F***ing -lord the feeling that you are losing your mind.
Glad to see you are moving through the roller coaster of emotions. I'm sure you are devastated, best wishes to you.

That describes it exactly. I’m going crazy with this no contact, but I know it’s for the best. And yes I’m definitely devastated .
Thank you

You know you deserve better so even if you took him back eventually you'd be right back here to this place.
The worst/hardest part is really behind you, you broke it off. however it happened. now its just getting through the days of romanticizing the relationship until you see all of it in its entirety. Once you do you probably won't go back.

honor your emotions, scream, yell, cry.... then let that shit go.

[Guest]

Just take your time the next time you meet someone. You jumped into marriage way too fast last time. He was basically a rebound. Play it slow next time and you'll be okay.

You said that last time, too.

Instead of making definitive statements about the future, maybe just focus on the right-now. You never know what the future holds

Yes I am in therapy and going to work on just enjoying my life and embracing being single. I don’t want anyone to come along. It’s never worth the potential heartbreak. I told myself when I jumped into this, that this was my last try. I’m going to be amazing on my own.

I did say that last time & I thought that him being in my life exactly when he was was supposed to be. I now know better. It is true that I don’t know what the future holds, my friends say the same thing. Unless I can get to a point where I trust myself & then in turn can trust others. I shouldn’t inflict myself on anyone else.
Right now I can’t see myself trusting anyone not after the hell I’ve been through, twice.

[Crumpy]

Wow I'm sorry. I thought you were so happy.

[Bubbs]

Wow I'm sorry. I thought you were so happy.

I just stopped talking about him really. I love him, but no I haven’t been happy. I just was going to make the best of it. Until I couldn’t

[LiveWhatULove]

I hate it when people say “ children are resilient” they are not.

I’m glad you left him nonetheless. Sounds like it was for the better.

I mean, I suppose it depends on how you define resilience. Because for centuries, society has treated children in so many different ways and often not so great ways, and yet, they grow & learn & become adults, and, here we are, thriving in pur generation. So children can & do overcome quite a bit, I would call that resilience.

[Bubbs]

They are so skilled at making you feel like the world rises and sets in your presence, until it doesn't. The only thing that has changed is the way they now treat you. You chase the feeling like an addict. The gas lighting and mind F***ing -lord the feeling that you are losing your mind.
Glad to see you are moving through the roller coaster of emotions. I'm sure you are devastated, best wishes to you.

That describes it exactly. I’m going crazy with this no contact, but I know it’s for the best. And yes I’m definitely devastated .
Thank you

You know you deserve better so even if you took him back eventually you'd be right back here to this place.
The worst/hardest part is really behind you, you broke it off. however it happened. now its just getting through the days of romanticizing the relationship until you see all of it in its entirety. Once you do you probably won't go back.

honor your emotions, scream, yell, cry.... then let that shit go.

Yes we deserve so much more than the chaos and craziness he brought to our lives. He can’t come back here, I would never do that to my kids.
I just have to figure out how to let him and the pain I was in with him and without him go. I’m working on it.