insisting kids only go 2 and a half hours away from college or less

[RedBottoms]

I have a friend that has the rule that her kids cannot go further away for college than about 2 and a half hours.

Her next son to go to college is super smart and has been getting letters from Ivy Leagues like Harvard. So its possible he could get in there if they are sending him letters asking him to apply. But yet when he did his college tours she just went to the local college and the one his sister is at.

She even made a joke that an Ivy League might be enough to make her change her rule. Key word is "might".

Now I doubt she is paying for all their college expenses. They are probably taking out some loans and scholarships. I am sure she pays for some things for them. Should a parent get to have a rule like that about not being able to go further away than X amount for college?

Especially if they are not paying for everything? And their kids are obviously adults at that point. What do you think? She has a lot of kids and they are all very family oriented and loves to have big family things so she wants them still coming around a lot so she wants them nearby at college.

Me personally if you held your kid back from going to somewhere like Harvard because they got in and got a scholarship just because you would miss them-that is not good parenting.

Do you have a rule about them having to go to college nearby? And if so why?

[Anonymous 1]

He should be able to go wherever he wants but he should also be prepared to pay his own way if his mother decides to pull all funding on her part. If he really is super smart scholarships will probably help out.

[Anonymous 2]

Harvard doesn’t send letters to students asking them to apply. Did you make that one up or your friend? LOL

[Deleted User 172]

My oldest son is MIT material. His teachers and any school official I've talkes to say he's MIT with full scholarships material. He's very smart and really good at math, science of any type and programming.
If he got a scholarship, or I came into the money to pay for him to go to school at MIT, I'll help him pack, and drop him off there myself.
I would totally break the rule for that.

If she has this rule due to money then the rule is now a moot point.

If she has this rule because she cant let go of her kids, then that is selfish and she needs to let her little bird fly.

[RedBottoms]

Harvard doesn’t send letters to students asking them to apply. Did you make that one up or your friend? LOL

I may have gotten the school mixed up but she posted an actual letter from one of the Ivys asking him to apply and telling him about the school. I think he got a super high SAT and/or ACT score and those get sent around to schools.

[RedBottoms]

My oldest son is MIT material. His teachers and any school official I've talkes to say he's MIT with full scholarships material. He's very smart and really good at math, science of any type and programming.
If he got a scholarship, or I came into the money to pay for him to go to school at MIT, I'll help him pack, and drop him off there myself.
I would totally break the rule for that.

If she has this rule due to money then the rule is now a moot point.

If she has this rule because she cant let go of her kids, then that is selfish and she needs to let her little bird fly.

its not about the money. She said it applies to all the kids because she wants to still be able to see them a lot and if they go across the country-that won't happen

[RealisticBeauty]

I would like my kid to stay local and thankfully he wants to. I'm hesitant because he is on the younger side in his class. He will graduate at 17 and I can't imagine him being mature enough to move across the country next year.

[mcginnisc]

The only rules we have in regards to college is: Their first year they have to live at home as we don't think they should be in a dorm at 16-17 years old with 20+ year olds. They have to work hard and attempt to get scholarships. We would prefer they go in state due to costs unless they get a full ride.

[RedBottoms]

For me as long as they get scholarships or whatever and can afford it-they can go where ever they want. Now I am not shelling out shit tons more money for a far away school but if its not costing me more money-then I am all for them going where ever they want. I would not hold them back.

[RedBottoms]

The only rules we have in regards to college is: Their first year they have to live at home as we don't think they should be in a dorm at 16-17 years old with 20+ year olds. They have to work hard and attempt to get scholarships. We would prefer they go in state due to costs unless they get a full ride.

You do realize that is going to hold them back though possibly? A lot of universities are now requiring all freshman to live on campus. Our local college I graduated from has this rule. So you have to either do community college for freshman year or live on campus. Living off campus is not allowed.

And if they got a full ride scholarship for 4 years with housing-I am pretty sure they have to use it or lose it.

I would be more willing to do a gap year for them then have them turn down scholarships.