Kathy Bates on MeToo: 'In my day, if you went to a guy’s hotel room, you knew why you were going'

[BionicBunny]

Bates says "Bates said: “In my day, if you went up to a guy’s hotel room, you knew exactly why you were going and in those days it was consensual."

I don't think it was as consensual as she thinks it was. Women were still coerced into going. They felt that their careers were on the line. So it was either go up into that hotel room and debase themselves or 'never work in Hollywood again'. I'm sure more than a few were threatened that they'd be ruined and never find work if they didn't go. And that's not consent.

It was consensual. They made the decision that their careers were more important than anything so they CHOSE to sleep with them. Consensual.
Unless someone threatens you with death...its consensual.

I’m trying to understand how having S*x with someone who gives that person something in return is rape. Isn’t that exactly what a prostitute does? People argue prostitution should be legal. A woman should be able to do what she wants with her body. I don’t agree with prostitution but I don’t see it as rape.

[AngelicUnicorn]

It was consensual. They made the decision that their careers were more important than anything so they CHOSE to sleep with them. Consensual.
Unless someone threatens you with death...its consensual.

I’m trying to understand how having S*x with someone who gives that person something in return is rape. Isn’t that exactly what a prostitute does? People argue prostitution should be legal. A woman should be able to do what she wants with her body. I don’t agree with prostitution but I don’t see it as rape.

It isn’t rape to f**k your way into the position you want. But, it is dehumanizing for those who feel that is their only option to further a career or move up. That sort of thing not only happens in Hollywood. And it isn’t just women, who go this route to move up or into desired positions.

[AngelicUnicorn]

I think that is a pretty standard thing, even today. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the guy for his actions, but come on. Use your brain, ladies.

What?
They guy wants S*x. The women who accept his invitation to his room know that. The woman makes her own decision to go to his room knowing full well what his expectations are. What actions does he have to excuse?

His animal behavior, if anything. But don’t hold your breath for him to explain himself. Men who play this game, think it is okay, when, in fact, it isn’t.

[Deleted User 203]

I totally get where she's coming from, or at least what I believe her comments are intended to be taken as.

It's about self-awareness and self-responsibility. She's not intended to state these women have been lying or at fault for what happened to them.

However, there was a bullying atmosphere back in the day...the "casting couch," which was a reality and very manipulative for especially women.

[Frau Holle]

I would think anyone going to a hotel room knows at least what's about to be suggested.

[Momto2boys973]

That’s a good point. I mean, I think it’s disgusting to ask or offer S*x for a career, but ultimately, it does end up being a consensual “exchange of services”, for lack of a better term. The “casting couch” has been a well known term since silent movies, any woman going into show business should’ve known about it and many played the game willingly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Harvey Weinstein was outed as a sleaze bag, but I also think that many of his accusers should also take some responsibility for the choices they made and their role as enablers of this system.

It was consensual. They made the decision that their careers were more important than anything so they CHOSE to sleep with them. Consensual.
Unless someone threatens you with death...its consensual.

I’m trying to understand how having S*x with someone who gives that person something in return is rape. Isn’t that exactly what a prostitute does? People argue prostitution should be legal. A woman should be able to do what she wants with her body. I don’t agree with prostitution but I don’t see it as rape.

[Valentina327]

Bates says "Bates said: “In my day, if you went up to a guy’s hotel room, you knew exactly why you were going and in those days it was consensual."

I don't think it was as consensual as she thinks it was. Women were still coerced into going. They felt that their careers were on the line. So it was either go up into that hotel room and debase themselves or 'never work in Hollywood again'. I'm sure more than a few were threatened that they'd be ruined and never find work if they didn't go. And that's not consent.

Hollywood isn't unique. There are people in power in every industry that will try to exert that power with the threat of not helping someone get ahead, denying them a promotion, not hiring them.

The choice is ALWAYS yours - you retain your morals, walk away, and seek another opportunity on the high ground, or you decide to do whatever it takes to get to your goal the easiest path possible.

Either way, you went to that room, you knew what it was for and did what you knew was expected. You have zero business crying foul later, after you've already gotten what you wanted.

[BionicBunny]

I agree. Responsibility should be taken on both sides unless it is not consensual . And I don’t mean regrets afterwards. I mean she said no and he forced her, which is rape. Even if she goes to his room and knows what he may ask, if she changes her mind and says no then she isn’t responsible for his actions. But someone who sleeps to the top needs to take responsibility as well as anyone in a power position taking advantage of his influence.

That’s a good point. I mean, I think it’s disgusting to ask or offer S*x for a career, but ultimately, it does end up being a consensual “exchange of services”, for lack of a better term. The “casting couch” has been a well known term since silent movies, any woman going into show business should’ve known about it and many played the game willingly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Harvey Weinstein was outed as a sleaze bag, but I also think that many of his accusers should also take some responsibility for the choices they made and their role as enablers of this system.

I’m trying to understand how having S*x with someone who gives that person something in return is rape. Isn’t that exactly what a prostitute does? People argue prostitution should be legal. A woman should be able to do what she wants with her body. I don’t agree with prostitution but I don’t see it as rape.

[hotspice58]

So true. If a girl didn’t want anything to happen, she took friends.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/kat ... 06307.html

Bates said: “In my day, if you went up to a guy’s hotel room, you knew exactly why you were going and in those days it was consensual.

“Times were different, but I really support the women who are coming forward now and I’m not happy about the men who are being accused falsely – but the ones who deserve all they’re getting, my feeling is hey, go for it.”

[Valentina327]

So true. If a girl didn’t want anything to happen, she took friends.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/kat ... 06307.html

Bates said: “In my day, if you went up to a guy’s hotel room, you knew exactly why you were going and in those days it was consensual.

“Times were different, but I really support the women who are coming forward now and I’m not happy about the men who are being accused falsely – but the ones who deserve all they’re getting, my feeling is hey, go for it.”

Yes! In my twenties we did that for each other many times. Always have reinforcements! LOL