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Help me out with this decision

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Dylexsmommy
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Unread post Wed Apr 17, 2019 2:37 pm

I’ve been debating with myself whether I should ask this question on here but I’m going to go ahead and do it anyway.

I’ve been given the opportunity to live rent free for the foreseeable future. Basically, my parents are getting up there in age, they need help around the house and with doctors appointments, etc.

My dad, although he’s in his 70s already is planning on retiring in the next few years (probably 3). He likes to work and me and my mom both think that he’s afraid to retire because he’ll be bored. My mom is bored out of her mind since her retirement. She wants to have kids in the house again.
They’ll probably sell the house when my dad retires and move either back home to Armenia or maybe buy a lake house, IDK yet, they’re still debating that.

They have this huge 5 bedroom house, so me and my boys will all have our own rooms, we’ll pretty much just take over the entire 2nd floor of the house.

I will continue working, saving up all my money and paying for my own schooling out of pocket during this time. I’m not going to tell how much I’ll be able to save but it’ll be enough to put down a sizeable down payment on a house, plus have quite a bit for a nest egg.

It sounds great on paper, but to me all I see is me sacrificing my freedom and independence. But then at the same time I see that the sacrifice now will ensure my freedom in the future.

So what would you do?
wait for it...
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pinkbutterfly66
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Unread post Wed Apr 17, 2019 3:05 pm

Tempting offer. As long as your parents treat you like an adult and don't try to set a curfew or think they have a say about your social life and as long as they remember that they're the grand parents, not the parent and defer to you as far as the kids are concerned, it might work out for you. Only you can make that determination.
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Dylexsmommy
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Unread post Wed Apr 17, 2019 3:19 pm

pinkbutterfly66 wrote:
Wed Apr 17, 2019 3:05 pm
Tempting offer. As long as your parents treat you like an adult and don't try to set a curfew or think they have a say about your social life and as long as they remember that they're the grand parents, not the parent and defer to you as far as the kids are concerned, it might work out for you. Only you can make that determination.
Yeah I agree.
I lived with them for a short while during my divorce. The only rule they had for me is that I had to put the kids to bed before going out for the night, which is extremely reasonable.
wait for it...
Yipes-Stripes
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Unread post Fri Apr 19, 2019 12:48 am

It sounds like a sweet deal, provided you and your children have a good relationship with your parents. Giving up a bit of your freedom is definitely a factor, as well as the possibility of being a caretaker for your parents. They sound pretty independent and able to help, but you'd have to consider the chance that you may end up caring for 2 extra people.
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Fullxbusymom
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Unread post Fri Apr 19, 2019 12:53 am

I think this is an amazing opportunity especially since you seem to get along well with them. I would go for it.
PoplarGrove
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Unread post Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:40 am

If you get along with them and have a fairly good relationship with them then it sounds like a great plan. It will allow you a little freedom to go out at night and give your children a closer relationship with your parents. I did it and it worked out pretty well.
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Valentina327
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Unread post Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:08 am

That's a great opportunity. If your folks treat you like an adult and respect your parenting decisions I think it would be great. I say that just because those seem like the 2 main issues people always have when living with a parent.

What freedom will you give up? What are you doing now that you can't do in their house? Are you referring to having people over? Men? If that's something you do a lot of now, then give that some serious thought. You'll really feel like your wings are being clipped and you'll ALL be unhappy.

If those are non issues in your family, go for it! You'll set yourself up very nicely for your future.
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Inmybizz
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Unread post Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:10 am

Did you move in?
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Dylexsmommy
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Unread post Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:23 am

Inmybizz wrote:
Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:10 am
Did you move in?
Not yet. I'm officially moving later this month.
2 steps back will mean 15 steps forward.
wait for it...
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