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Single moms group. Let's get to know each other so we can make this group more active

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Dylexsmommy
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Unread post Tue Feb 19, 2019 1:25 pm

I've legally been a single mom for about 2 years now. However since my ex is a POS and never really helped with anything I've been a single mom for much longer. I'd say since my first was born.
My boys are 13 and 6 now, my 13 year old is autistic and my 6 year old is currently being tested for learning disabilities.
I live in Texas, dont get child support (I'm supposed to, but he is living under a bridge) I don't get any Gov't help or financial help from anybody else.
Me and my kids are going on our first family vacation in November. We're going on a cruise to Cozumel.
I live alone with my kids and dog, a small 2 bedroom apartment that I furnished fully on my own in the midst of my divorce.
My kids haven't seen their dad in over a year, though they have seen their grandma, cousins and aunt/uncle from his side. They all chose the kids over me and my ex-husband and I'm grateful for that.

My worst fear regarding my kids is that they'll succumb to the alcoholism that runs in my ex's side of the family.

My oldest is a science whiz, the youngest will probably be in some kind of skilled labor, or maybe an engineer with his smarts.

My oldest is a genius based on his IQ and I find that he's changing every day into a wonderful young man.

The most difficult thing I've encountered so far is the stigma of being a single mom. We're so hated by so many people.

People like to make assumptions about us that just aren't true.

Some men will run the other way the second they hear you're a single mom while others will stay around until it gets too serious and then split.

Nobody in my family has ever been a single mom before, so I'm kind of on my own in this experience. I have family here that helps out but sometimes I think they hinder me and my kids more than help.

My goal is to get my kids into college and take off on my own. Of course I'll always be there for my kids, but I want my life back also.

I'm planning on buying a house within the next couple of years so that when they come home from wherever we are we will always have a home to come home to.

My greatest challenge is that people dont think I can do it alone, but I'm a F***ing fighter and I will do it alone.

So.... that's that.

Give your life so we can learn about each other and try to help each other out.
wait for it...
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Murdoc's Mistress
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Unread post Tue Mar 12, 2019 6:44 pm

I've been a single mom for over 12 yrs.

We get CS now but my ex went without paying on and off for years so he's over $27k in arrears now.

I did get assistance without shame for several years. Worked my way off of it little by little and have been 100% self sufficient now for nearly 7 yrs.

Bought my first house in 2016.

Kiddo is a good kid but right now she's making a ton of shitty ass decisions.

Ex thinks he's dad of the year since he texts our kiddo once a day give or take after an 11.5 yr absence (they are only chatting via text, haven't seen each other face to face since she was 3)

I juggle trying to parent this kid as well as maintaining relationships with her older sisters from their father's first marriage. I help out the oldest and her kids from time to time.

I mainly just work, go home, take care of kiddo, sleep....lather, rinse, repeat.
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Unread post Sat Apr 13, 2019 1:06 am

I can relate to so much you've both said..single mom of 2 girls, almost 4 and 14.
I had my oldest at 18 with my high school bf. We split up when she was about 1 1/2. She's brilliant and beautiful, but makes terrible decisions. Her dad was involved with her for the most part (e/o weekend, pays child support), but has been pretty absent for the last year or so. I think the combo of her bad behavior and her shitty relationship with her stepmom made him just give up.
I had my 2nd with my (then) husband at 29. We separated when she had just turned one, and his alcoholism was affecting the kids. I tried to give it my all through a few rehab stays, but officially divorced a year and a half ago. He's in my daughter's life, but never consistently. He was in (voluntary) rehab several times, lived far away, and now has a job driving truck. He chalks it all up to being a victim of circumstance 😒
I'm a special ed para at a k-12 school. I love my job, but it's draining. I love my kids, but they're draining, too! My biggest complaint as a single mom is that I feel like I'm never off the clock. My biggest fear is that they can feel that. That, and completely F***ing them up and it being all on my shoulders..
This is HARD! I don't want to come across all Pollyanna about it, but I really hope this can be a place where we can understand and support each other- god knows we probably all need it!
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Dylexsmommy
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Unread post Fri Jul 05, 2019 3:12 pm

Bump.

There's others on this board, tell us your story.
wait for it...
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Fullxbusymom
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Unread post Fri Jul 05, 2019 3:14 pm

I will do this but it needs to be a little later.
Bubbs
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Unread post Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:48 am

I've been legally a single mom since January 2019, when my second divorce was final. But my second husband didn't help much anyway. I have 2 kids-my son is 13 (he plays football & runs track) and my daughter is 11 (violin and dance). I feel like I spend a lot of time in my car.
I was with and or married to my first husband for 23 years before the divorce (he met someone, cheated, and filed for divorce) I get child support, through an agreement with my ex husband.

No government assistance (but I am not against those who need it, that is what it is available to do) , I have worked at the same job since 1997 (doing different things), I am a full time teleworker, I go to college part time and sometimes work a second job (I want to get out of debt and buy a house)

My second ex was an abusive, alcoholic and I am paying the financial price for that bad decision. I learned a lot about myself and what I want in life from that relationship. It was a hard life lesson, but one that I has made me stronger than I was before.
My biggest struggle, I feel like I am walking in my mom's shoes (I tried really hard not too) and that people look at me as a stereotype. Black single mom of two kids. And I am a lot more than that.

I am not sure what else to say. I am finding a place of contentment and being single & free is very addictive. I hope we can all get to know each other and support each other. That would be nice, I am the only single mom in my local friends group, so sometimes I don't think they get it, and I have a hard time asking for anything.
Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind, 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.
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Fullxbusymom
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Unread post Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:14 am

Single mom for 4 1/2yrs I currently have a 22, 20, 13 & 7yr old. My 7yr old has some issues he has an extensive IEP receives OT, PT, Speech and he is legally blind in one eye with the other not much better so he also sees an eye specialist.

Dad in the beginning was pretty great. Now he no longer sees them except maybe 10mins a month and hasn't taken them at all in 2yrs and an overnight in 3. So it is me trying to juggle 2 jobs, the kids and my youngests needs.

I honestly do not have a life for me anymore it is working and any time off is dedicated to the kids. I most days think I am doing a kick ass jobs and others I feel like I am falling on my face.
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stilltfez
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Unread post Wed Jul 17, 2019 9:52 am

I'm here but my kids are grown. I was a solo mom for, well forever. I sometimes look back and am amazed that we got through intact. My kids, both boys are: 34 and married, 30 and engaged. I do have a grandchild who is 10. I'm reading here and might reply from time to time because I really was there, did that and sometimes my thoughts might help.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible
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