She intends to fight this

[Lemons]

Legal guardianship will do nothing in the event of your death. Your ex will automatically become the default parent, period. If he doesn’t want the responsibility he can turn it over to your husband, but that it.

I’ve been there and done that and it was a huge fear of mine till the kids turned 18.

It probably varies by state. My sister made me the legal guardian of her kids if she ever died, we went to court and I had to testify that I was willing to step up and take them if needed. I have talked to a few lawyers who told me as long as DH is the legal guardian he will get custody.

She needs to see a lawyer to prepare the documents. Most people name guardians in their wills. And it can be stated why she isnt naming her son's father.

And no state has people go to court and testify that they are willing to become guardians. Imagine the back log that would create?

[Guest]

Legal guardianship will do nothing in the event of your death. Your ex will automatically become the default parent, period. If he doesn’t want the responsibility he can turn it over to your husband, but that it.

I’ve been there and done that and it was a huge fear of mine till the kids turned 18.

It probably varies by state. My sister made me the legal guardian of her kids if she ever died, we went to court and I had to testify that I was willing to step up and take them if needed. I have talked to a few lawyers who told me as long as DH is the legal guardian he will get custody.

She needs to see a lawyer to prepare the documents. Most people name guardians in their wills. And it can be stated why she isnt naming her son's father.

And no state has people go to court and testify that they are willing to become guardians. Imagine the back log that would create?

She doesnt have to name the father as his guardian because he is already his father. If OP dies that child's father can take the child with no fucks given. Her husband will have no choice but to hand him over. A legal guardianship does NOT replace the bio parent. Her DH would have to sue her ex for custody. Not saying that a step parent has never won but its very rare and very difficult to do

[leadfoot40]

are you dying?

[Lemons]

It probably varies by state. My sister made me the legal guardian of her kids if she ever died, we went to court and I had to testify that I was willing to step up and take them if needed. I have talked to a few lawyers who told me as long as DH is the legal guardian he will get custody.

She needs to see a lawyer to prepare the documents. Most people name guardians in their wills. And it can be stated why she isnt naming her son's father.

And no state has people go to court and testify that they are willing to become guardians. Imagine the back log that would create?

She doesnt have to name the father as his guardian because he is already his father. If OP dies that child's father can take the child with no fucks given. Her husband will have no choice but to hand him over. A legal guardianship does NOT replace the bio parent. Her DH would have to sue her ex for custody. Not saying that a step parent has never won but its very rare and very difficult to do

She still needs to make her wishes known in a legal document and also attach a letter to the document expanding on what she wishes for her child. It will be given a lot of weight when the judge appoints a guardian. But she needs to speak with an attorney and get the documents completed including a trust for her son, none of us here know enough about this including the status of his biological father.

[Fullxbusymom]

I am going to make my DH my son's legal guardian in the event of my death. Just being married is not enough.

DH can't adopt DS because quite frankly we do not have the money to take it to court. We make too much for legal aid to help.

My Mom thinks she's going to fight it though and thinks she will win. Unfortunately the courts will contact her because when I looked into it it said that they'd contact family first to see who would want my son. I don't know if DH is considered family in the same sense as my bio family is.

DH:

-Only Father my son has ever known, DS calls him Dad

-Works a good job 40 hours a week

-Financially stable

-Can drive

-Not getting any type of welfare

-Does not hang out with druggies and has plenty of support from his family to help with DS if ever needed

-DS wants to be with him and he's old enough to have a say

-DS has the freedom here to play outdoors and visit friends

Mom:

-Pack and a half a day smoker

-Barely squeaking by on social security retirement

-Gets food stamps already

-Does not drive

-Nearly 70

-Has my brother living there who smokes pot and has his druggie friends coming over all the time, and also allows my other brother over who is a known (legally as he's been arrested for it) heroin addict.

-Would never let DS play outside. DS would be sitting inside all day every day playing video games if he lived with her because she is not willing to take him places like the zoo, etc even if she has transportation and she's too paranoid to let him play outside alone. When we were kids we were not allowed to play outside because of that. We were also not allowed to go to friends houses because of her paranoia that someone would kidnap us.

I asked her how she intended to take care of DS if she got custody of him. She said she would get death benefits from me so that would help plus the child support I get from my ex even though like I said he isn't involved, he just pays CS. I asked her how she'd get him to school since her area doesn't transport kids and it's too far to walk, and she isn't in good enough shape to walk him. She actually told me she'd call a cab to get him to and from school, and just let him ride with the cab driver without her. I told her cabs/Ubers don't allow unaccompanied minors but she said they would if she paid them enough. So in other words my child would be placed with a complete stranger and just hope they aren't a S*x trafficker or molester.

It pisses me off she even thinks she should have my son. He is better off with the only Dad he's ever known. No drugs in this house, plenty of money, the school is within walking distance but DH can take him to and from school anyways. He doesn't smoke and while he likely would file for death benefits for DS he would be OK without them. My Mom would absolutely depend on them to care for DS. Currently mine stand at about $700 a month per child.

Not to mention we have a baby coming which is our baby together and DS wants to be with his brother. My Mom would never allow DH to see my son because "That's not his real Dad" even though she knows darn well DH is his Dad just not biologically. She has ass backwards views on stepparents/blended families and even if DS wanted to see DH she wouldn't allow it. So DS would not see his brother or the only Dad he's ever known.

If you were the judge who would you pick? I think she doesn't have a chance given the circumstances and when we set up legal guardianship I intend to, if I can, make it clear that she is absolutely not a candidate and should not be considered for guardianship and why.

He would legally go to his bio father first. Your mother nor husband would have any legal rights. It doesn't matter who you put down on paper. If you want to avoid all this you need to figure a way for your husband to legally adopt him if you can't look into at least having him as a legal guardian.

[nmkj]

Your husband needs to adopt him or your son will have to go to his biological family. You can't "will" a child to someone.

[Guest]

She needs to see a lawyer to prepare the documents. Most people name guardians in their wills. And it can be stated why she isnt naming her son's father.

And no state has people go to court and testify that they are willing to become guardians. Imagine the back log that would create?

She doesnt have to name the father as his guardian because he is already his father. If OP dies that child's father can take the child with no fucks given. Her husband will have no choice but to hand him over. A legal guardianship does NOT replace the bio parent. Her DH would have to sue her ex for custody. Not saying that a step parent has never won but its very rare and very difficult to do

She still needs to make her wishes known in a legal document and also attach a letter to the document expanding on what she wishes for her child. It will be given a lot of weight when the judge appoints a guardian. But she needs to speak with an attorney and get the documents completed including a trust for her son, none of us here know enough about this including the status of his biological father.

her opinions dont matter. The child would be immediately given to the child's next of kin. iAt that point it would be up to step dad to sue the bio dad for custody. which is very,very rarely successful

[Guest]

Legal parents have legal rights. Unless those rights have been terminated by a court, your husband and your mom can both get in line behind the child’s legal father. You can not simply “will” a child to someone. If you can not afford the adoption then how is he going to afford to raise the child?

[Sassy762]

The child will go to your ex regardless. Legal guardianship will NOT stop your ex from getting the child

Custody Vs. Guardianship
Custody and guardianship are also two separate issues. If you’re divorced, your decree includes the terms of your custody arrangement. If you and your ex modified custody after your divorce, a separate order usually memorializes your current arrangement. Either way, custody is a legal situation between you and your ex. If he/she has died, he/she is no longer a party to your custody order. You’re the only parent bound by it under these circumstances, so full custody automatically reverts to you. Therefore, in most cases, the only way your child’s grandparents can achieve guardianship over your child is if you -- as the parent with custody -- assign it to them. This is true even if your ex nominated them in his/her will.

[Deleted User 670]

I wouldn't worry about it too much unless you have health issues where you need to make this decision now. The kid will probably grow up and be off with his own family with you and his dad still puttering around and the old witch will be gone.