Would like advice Re: Trans person

[Anonymous 1]

I got a graduation announcement in the mail stating where the person was going to college and it had some pictures on the announcement. When I opened it I had no clue who it was! It was a name I never heard of and a person I have never seen! i looked at the return label and saw who it was from! i kept looking at the announcement and I figured out that it was an old friend's son that changed their name to a girl's name and they were dressed as a girl in the pictures. Besides the yearly Christmas card, I don't really talk with this friend that much. Our kids were friends when they were really little but then her and her family moved far away and we only kept in touch like I said, with a yearly Christmas card. Anyways, I fully support trans people and I am so glad that their child has wonderful parents that seem to support them as well. I would love to reach out to my old friend and say "something" but I don't know how to go about it. Any suggestions? Thanks!

[Anonymous 2]

Return a card with "it was wonderful to see that ____ is graduating college. So hard to believe how time has flown since our kids played together. All the best to ___ on their graduation and well wishes to the entire family. Would love to re-connect sometime via social media or phone. Really miss our time together in _____. Warmly, __________" I would include a recent picture of your daughter.

[PoplarGrove]

"Hi, old friend! I can't believe we're old enough to have kids graduating from College! It looks like some things have changed in your family since the kids were little. X is a beautiful name and she looks so happy!" Or something like that. I'd be happy with a response like that from an old friend about by son's change of social gender.

[RIZZY]

Them being trans has no bearing on how you behave in this situation. You don't need to acknowledge that they have changed, that is so awkward. Just send back a note/gift/whatever saying congrats and using their new name. As if they had always been female.

[Olioxenfree]

Just send a “congrats to ——— for graduating!”, don’t put any attention on their gender change. I guarantee the teenager just wants to be treated as anyone else and not gave it brought up.

[Anonymous 1]

The teenager will not be seeing my text to their mom I'm sure.

Just send a “congrats to ——— for graduating!”, don’t put any attention on their gender change. I guarantee the teenager just wants to be treated as anyone else and not gave it brought up.

[Anonymous 1]

I know I don't need to acknowledge it, but I want to. I think it's more awkward to act like it's not happening and just say congrats to "new name" as if I knew the info.

Them being trans has no bearing on how you behave in this situation. You don't need to acknowledge that they have changed, that is so awkward. Just send back a note/gift/whatever saying congrats and using their new name. As if they had always been female.

[Anonymous 1]

I like that response! I would also like an acknowledgement if I was in this situation but I think most people would ignore it or feel too awkward to say anything. I also thought to say how wonderful it is to have supportive parents to be who you truly are.......or something like that. What do you think?

"Hi, old friend! I can't believe we're old enough to have kids graduating from College! It looks like some things have changed in your family since the kids were little. X is a beautiful name and she looks so happy!" Or something like that. I'd be happy with a response like that from an old friend about by son's change of social gender.

[Baconqueen13]

The appropriate response is to NOT bring attention to the fact the kid is trans at all. Congratulate them on graduating and use the graduate's preferred name. That's it.

[Anonymous 1]

If it was a person that was never my friend, then yes, I totally see that as appropriate to not bring it up. But since this is a friend that I lost touch with when they moved away, I just feel like I want to say something short and sweet about it. But I don't know what to say exactly. I just feel like it's strange to not mention it at all.

The appropriate response is to NOT bring attention to the fact the kid is trans at all. Congratulate them on graduating and use the graduate's preferred name. That's it.