Schrodinger's Rapist

[Olioxenfree]

Dear Lord..that was long and redundant. I couldn't even get through it all. Not all of us look at every man as a possible rapist.

When my sister was a teenager she believed the best in people. And then she was violently sexually assaulted by a stranger. Not every man is a rapist. I am married to a wonderful man who wouldn’t, my sister is married to a wonderful man who wouldn’t, the point of this isn’t to say every man is a possible rapist. But statistically, many women are the victims of rape.

The point is to explain to men why women might behave the way that they do. Because we live in a society where that is a valid threat. And a woman isn’t overreacting or discriminating against men for voicing that. You can say “it’s too long”, well, my sister has lived through two decades of physical effects. A man can stand to read through a page of words that explains her point of view.

i've been sexually assaulted. I was 13. I still think it was long and redundant. And.. not every man is a rapist.

The article didn’t say every man was a rapist. It actually specifically says not all men are and there are plenty of good men.

[highlandmum]

When my sister was a teenager she believed the best in people. And then she was violently sexually assaulted by a stranger. Not every man is a rapist. I am married to a wonderful man who wouldn’t, my sister is married to a wonderful man who wouldn’t, the point of this isn’t to say every man is a possible rapist. But statistically, many women are the victims of rape.

The point is to explain to men why women might behave the way that they do. Because we live in a society where that is a valid threat. And a woman isn’t overreacting or discriminating against men for voicing that. You can say “it’s too long”, well, my sister has lived through two decades of physical effects. A man can stand to read through a page of words that explains her point of view.

i've been sexually assaulted. I was 13. I still think it was long and redundant. And.. not every man is a rapist.

The article didn’t say every man was a rapist. It actually specifically says not all men are and there are plenty of good men.

Just by the mere fact she calls it "Schrodinger's Rapist" she is stating that. What the author is saying is that a man is a rapist and a good guy at the same time, until proven.

This was also part of it. I can tell you first hand it is not part of my daily routine, I actually do not worry about this very much. Only if I am in a unique situation of walking alone in a dark place. I am not going though my life being afraid of my own shadow. This woman does not speak for every woman out there. So for some of us yes it speaks to us but for others, no, it does not resonate with us.

Is preventing violent assault or murder part of your daily routine, rather than merely something you do when you venture into war zones? Because, for women, it is. When I go on a date, I always leave the man’s full name and contact information written next to my computer monitor. This is so the cops can find my body if I go missing.

[Traci_Momof2]

In a way I feel like I can't relate to this at all just because I've never really been in the position to date as an adult. I met my DH when I was 19 and we've been together ever since. So the whole dating scene in full-fledged adulthood is foreign to me.

I get what the author is saying overall, and I agree with some of it. But it seems like a chunk of it is dependent on reading non-verbal cues and I will not fault anyone for not picking up on someone else's non-verbal cues. I myself feel like I don't always pick up on them. I know other people, good people, who don't always pick up on them. And I think the first defense for us women is literally learning to use our own voice.

But I am all for teaching both sexes what it is like out there in the real world for the other S*x. We come together so much better when we all have a bit more understanding of what it's like for the other person.

[LiveWhatULove]

This does not resonate with me.

[Anonymous 2]

More victim crap. Men are bad and want to hurt you! Stop with the victim complex. I never have a feeling a man wants to rape me just for uttering the word "hello." Get a grip. I have 3 sons and a wonderful husband and I refuse to see them as potential rapists.

[Pjmm]

I have all sorts of problems with this…

And yes, I’m coming from a place where I was sexually abused.






1) having colorful tattoos doesn’t give off rapist vibes that someone reading should start with internet dating first…

2) this seems more written for women who are unable to speak their true feelings.

A) you don’t have to be polite to a stranger
B) if a woman feels super uncomfortable around a man, it shouldn’t be on him to pick up on clues, the woman should LOUDLY say “ I do not want to talk to you, leave me
alone”. Loud enough to make all the other people on the train/in the store/on a bus look right at you


3) men should not have to feel as though they will automatically be viewed as rapists until they have proved themselves not to be… just as women should not have to feel as though they will be viewed as gold-diggers until they prove themselves…

Right, and I've been harassed, and physically abused. I think the adage innocent until proven guilty applies. The other day a guy in a store asked me about brie. I can assume he's a rapist out to lure me to his car or I can assume he's clueless about various types of brie. I chose the second and I was correct. Same with guys in my kayaking group who invite me out. 10 times out of 10 it's because they want to go kayaking and literally nothing more. I also agree if a guy chats you up and you want to be left alone, say so. I think these rules are important for men to learn; I've told my sons some of them. I just think this could've been better written.
Also, I tell my family members like my son where I'm going and when I'll be back. It doesn't matter if I'm with a woman, man or going somewhere by myself. One doesn't know what could happen no matter who you're with.

[RIZZY]

If this piece is meant for young people, they will lose interest almost immediately.

From a philosophical perspective, not everyone is good. You're presuming that all high schoolers are kind to women, children, the elderly....

[Anonymous 1]

If this piece is meant for young people, they will lose interest almost immediately.

From a philosophical perspective, not everyone is good. You're presuming that all high schoolers are kind to women, children, the elderly....

I think the target audience was 18 to 25 year olds.

And, specifically, the subset of 18 to 25 year old men who are 'good' in the sense of not wanting to rape people, but who may be confused about why some women don't always act in a way that shows they assume by default that a man they are along with that they have never met isn't a threat, despite most men not being a threat.