The mistress wants me to get a DNA test and be there for her kids after my dad died

Anonymous 3

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She wants the DNA so that, if anything happens to her, she can offload her kids onto you as their "next of kin".
Traci_Momof2
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Was the affair the thing that makes you say he was a piece of shit? Or was he just an all around shitty kind of person who also had an affair?

If it's the former, it just makes me sad that none of you ever rectified your relationship with him. An affair doesn't have to mean cutting all ties and holding a grudge forever. He was still your dad.

I have an uncle who had an affair after at least 35 if not close to 40 years of marriage. Don't get me wrong, it rocked the whole family when it came out. And his marriage was over because he made the choice that he wanted to be with the other woman. And at first his kids had a really hard time with it and weren't talking to him much. But they took the time to process it and get past it and have had a good relationship with him and his wife (the other woman) for some time now. They are all family.
People make mistakes, but one mistake does not a shitty person make.
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Rosehawk
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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 3:23 pm Was the affair the thing that makes you say he was a piece of shit? Or was he just an all around shitty kind of person who also had an affair?

If it's the former, it just makes me sad that none of you ever rectified your relationship with him. An affair doesn't have to mean cutting all ties and holding a grudge forever. He was still your dad.

I have an uncle who had an affair after at least 35 if not close to 40 years of marriage. Don't get me wrong, it rocked the whole family when it came out. And his marriage was over because he made the choice that he wanted to be with the other woman. And at first his kids had a really hard time with it and weren't talking to him much. But they took the time to process it and get past it and have had a good relationship with him and his wife (the other woman) for some time now. They are all family.
People make mistakes, but one mistake does not a shitty person make.
I 100% disagree with this. Infidelity is a choice. Breaking promises made to a spouse is a choice. It absolutely can make you a shitty person.
I used to be a people person
Then people ruined it
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carterscutie85
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 7:51 am
carterscutie85 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 6:52 am There's no DNA needed if he is on their birth certificates and if he died before the new baby was born all she has to do is test the other kids.
That's what I thought.
Maybe she isn't sure those are his kids. I mean if she's a whore enough to break up a marriage she could have been running around still.
Traci_Momof2
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Rosehawk wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 3:37 pm
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 3:23 pm Was the affair the thing that makes you say he was a piece of shit? Or was he just an all around shitty kind of person who also had an affair?

If it's the former, it just makes me sad that none of you ever rectified your relationship with him. An affair doesn't have to mean cutting all ties and holding a grudge forever. He was still your dad.

I have an uncle who had an affair after at least 35 if not close to 40 years of marriage. Don't get me wrong, it rocked the whole family when it came out. And his marriage was over because he made the choice that he wanted to be with the other woman. And at first his kids had a really hard time with it and weren't talking to him much. But they took the time to process it and get past it and have had a good relationship with him and his wife (the other woman) for some time now. They are all family.
People make mistakes, but one mistake does not a shitty person make.
I 100% disagree with this. Infidelity is a choice. Breaking promises made to a spouse is a choice. It absolutely can make you a shitty person.
But people break promises all the time. Why is fidelity held up as such a worse one to break than others? If a parent promised to a kid "when you turn 10 I will take you to Disneyland" and then broke that promise, would you advocate for the kid to hold a grudge against the parent for the rest of their lives? Or what about when a spouse says "I promise I'll go into rehab and get better" and then doesn't. There's all sorts of broken promises every day, yet all others, especially upon first offense, are generally thought to be deserving of a second chance. Why is fidelity different?
RIZZY1
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Your father and the mistress are disgusting and their behavior is/was beyond bizarre. None of that is the children's fault, though. It's completely understandable for her to want you all to be in the kid's lives, it's just not understandable to approach it in this way or to try to force it.

I found out I have a half sister from my father's side. Doing the math, it's possible that my dad cheated on my mom. My brother doesn't want anything to do with her but I've been getting to know her. Now that I've lost my dad, I am so glad I met her.
Anonymous 4

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Yeah. I'd definitely be blocking that number. I can't imagine a court compelling anyone to give up DNA in this circumstance. If she was claiming one of your siblings as the father, then maybe the court would intervene. Not for what she's trying to do. Good luck and I hope she goes away.
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carterscutie85 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 6:52 am There's no DNA needed if he is on their birth certificates and if he died before the new baby was born all she has to do is test the other kids.
Unless the older one isn't his. Then she'd have a bunch of explaining to do.
Anonymous 4

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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 5:15 pm
Rosehawk wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 3:37 pm
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 3:23 pm Was the affair the thing that makes you say he was a piece of shit? Or was he just an all around shitty kind of person who also had an affair?

If it's the former, it just makes me sad that none of you ever rectified your relationship with him. An affair doesn't have to mean cutting all ties and holding a grudge forever. He was still your dad.

I have an uncle who had an affair after at least 35 if not close to 40 years of marriage. Don't get me wrong, it rocked the whole family when it came out. And his marriage was over because he made the choice that he wanted to be with the other woman. And at first his kids had a really hard time with it and weren't talking to him much. But they took the time to process it and get past it and have had a good relationship with him and his wife (the other woman) for some time now. They are all family.
People make mistakes, but one mistake does not a shitty person make.
I 100% disagree with this. Infidelity is a choice. Breaking promises made to a spouse is a choice. It absolutely can make you a shitty person.
But people break promises all the time. Why is fidelity held up as such a worse one to break than others? If a parent promised to a kid "when you turn 10 I will take you to Disneyland" and then broke that promise, would you advocate for the kid to hold a grudge against the parent for the rest of their lives? Or what about when a spouse says "I promise I'll go into rehab and get better" and then doesn't. There's all sorts of broken promises every day, yet all others, especially upon first offense, are generally thought to be deserving of a second chance. Why is fidelity different?
The question is, why are you so accepting of people breaking promises? We teach people how to treat us. People not doing what they say they're going to do, especially in major areas of life, does indeed make them a shitty person. If you can't see the difference between parents not taking a child on a vacation and a man breaking up his family behind their backs, then you really have issues. The two are no where near the same gravity. One is a vacation, the other is ruining the lives of multiple people. Little clearer now? Some of you women on here...
Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 3 wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 11:55 am She wants the DNA so that, if anything happens to her, she can offload her kids onto you as their "next of kin".
That's a good point.
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