The surrogate is keeping the baby

[Anonymous 1]

My sister has been trying for awhile to have kids. She decided to go with a surrogate. I warned her against it because where she lives ,uk, surrogacy contracts are not legally enforceable and the woman who delivers the baby is who has legal rights.

My sister told me she was going to go for it anyway. She trusted the woman and her husband.

In the end I ended up being right to warn her. The birth mother decided to keep the baby. Even though the baby is biologically my sister and BILs baby the birth mother and her husband have all legal rights to the child. She says she fell in love with the baby and that she want to raise him. There is nothing my sister can do and she is even more heart broken than before.

I am trying to be as supportive as possible but I wish she had just listened to me. A good friend of mine went through the same thing which is why I even warned my sister.

I know she is heart broken though. There is a kid out there that is her blood and everything she has ever wanted and she doesnt get to be a part of his life.

[MonarchMom]

Very sad situation. I hope your sister can find peace with the knowledge that the baby is loved and cherished by the family that has the legal standing to raise him.

[Anonymous 2]

Good. I’m sure the baby will be well loved by the mother carrying it

[Heyteacher]

What an ignorant statement. Of course you can’t stand by it with your screen name so even you know that.

Good. I’m sure the baby will be well loved by the mother carrying it

[Heyteacher]

Having gone through pregnancy loss and infertility I have great compassion for all involved. It’s not a matter of “listening” to you or not. This is a loss for for your sister and of you can’t be empathetic then stand down.

Would you have felt this way if she had a failed adoption? Where the birth mother exercised her right to change her mind? If so the. I feel badly for you too.

My sister has been trying for awhile to have kids. She decided to go with a surrogate. I warned her against it because where she lives ,uk, surrogacy contracts are not legally enforceable and the woman who delivers the baby is who has legal rights.

My sister told me she was going to go for it anyway. She trusted the woman and her husband.

In the end I ended up being right to warn her. The birth mother decided to keep the baby. Even though the baby is biologically my sister and BILs baby the birth mother and her husband have all legal rights to the child. She says she fell in love with the baby and that she want to raise him. There is nothing my sister can do and she is even more heart broken than before.

I am trying to be as supportive as possible but I wish she had just listened to me. A good friend of mine went through the same thing which is why I even warned my sister.

I know she is heart broken though. There is a kid out there that is her blood and everything she has ever wanted and she doesnt get to be a part of his life.

[Deleted User 1990]

Isn’t there a contract that was signed before the pregnancy?

[Anonymous 1]

Isn’t there a contract that was signed before the pregnancy?

Nothing is legally enforceable.

[Anonymous 1]

Having gone through pregnancy loss and infertility I have great compassion for all involved. It’s not a matter of “listening” to you or not. This is a loss for for your sister and of you can’t be empathetic then stand down.

Would you have felt this way if she had a failed adoption? Where the birth mother exercised her right to change her mind? If so the. I feel badly for you too.

My sister has been trying for awhile to have kids. She decided to go with a surrogate. I warned her against it because where she lives ,uk, surrogacy contracts are not legally enforceable and the woman who delivers the baby is who has legal rights.

My sister told me she was going to go for it anyway. She trusted the woman and her husband.

In the end I ended up being right to warn her. The birth mother decided to keep the baby. Even though the baby is biologically my sister and BILs baby the birth mother and her husband have all legal rights to the child. She says she fell in love with the baby and that she want to raise him. There is nothing my sister can do and she is even more heart broken than before.

I am trying to be as supportive as possible but I wish she had just listened to me. A good friend of mine went through the same thing which is why I even warned my sister.

I know she is heart broken though. There is a kid out there that is her blood and everything she has ever wanted and she doesnt get to be a part of his life.

I have been very empathetic. I have been there however she need. It's hard to be supportive when there is nothing you can do to actually help and you never know if what you are doing will make things better or worse.

[Anonymous 3]

Trolls need to do better

[Momto2boys973]

That is disgusting. I’m adopted and I don’t give a crap who “carried” me, I have only one family and I’m perfectly well loved by them.
I’m thankful to the woman who carried me until birth for giving me a chance at life instead of getting rid of me, but she’s not my mother. The woman who raised me is.

OP, it’s a very sad situation and my heart goes out to your sister. I have always considered myself so fortunate to not have fertility issues and I can only imagine how painful that must be. And to get that little ray of hope and have it snatched away from you, how heartbreaking. This isn’t a time for “I knew it!” and “I told you so”. If you haven’t been in her shoes you can’t judge her for not listening to you and going with her gut feeling. It went bad, you knew it could happen, this isn’t the time to feel like she should’ve listened to you.

You can encourage her by saying that there are other options for her. Maybe she could consider adopting. As I said to that heartless bitch, I’m adopted. I personally never understood the lure of surrogacy. I can understand wanting to have that feeling of having your child growing inside you, I’ve felt it. But surrogacy doesn’t do that to you. I can even imagine it would be more hurtful to see another woman going through that. It’s- IMHO- glorification of genes. That’s not what being a parent is.

Good. I’m sure the baby will be well loved by the mother carrying it