I decided not to take my son's friend on our trip because of his bad attitude

Anonymous 1

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DH and I are going on a trip with the kids and they were each allowed to bring a friend. We are going to a water park one of the days and a theme park one of the days also.

The friends came over last night. DS' friend kinda had a crappy attitude from the start that just got worse and worse.

I asked all the kids to come to the kitchen table so we could discus plans and rules. DS' friend refused to because he was busy just staring at his phone. I told him to put it down and come over so we could all talk. He moaned and groaned. I went to talk to him and told him that if he was going to come on the trip he needed to treat me with respect. He said I needed to chill. He then whispered bitch under his breath while walking over.

I told him to grab his stuff and I was taking him home. I drove him home and told his mom what happened. She was not happy about it but when I told her I wasn't bringing him she got upset. She said she had paid money to get him tickets so I had to take him. I told her no. That I wasn't going to bring someone so disrespectful. I didn't want to have someone who won't follow rules or listen to me there. It is normal in our friend group/community for parents to pay for big things their kids are doing.

She just kept saying "Well he's sorry" and then in the background he was saying "No I'm not" like a toddler.

I told her sorry but I wasn't bringing him. I wasn't going to worry the whole trip about what happens if he disrespects me again. Now she is wanting me to pay her back. I told her no. It isn't my fault he is acting that way. I doubt anyone would want to take a kid that called them a bitch and thought it was hilarious.

I didn't want to be in a situation where something bad would happen and I couldn't make him listen while we were gone. I understand she is mad about the money but if it was my kid I would be mad at HIM for acting the way he did not the parent who decided not to bring him.

I feel bad because DS has no one to go with him now but he understands. He is angry with his friend.
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mcginnisc
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Yeah...give her the money back. If he is not going ( don't blame you on that one), it is still her money and you are wrong to keep money that is not yours.
Claire
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Anonymous 1

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mcginnisc wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:14 am Yeah...give her the money back. If he is not going ( don't blame you on that one), it is still her money and you are wrong to keep money that is not yours.
She paid for it herself. I don't have anything to pay her back.
Anonymous 2

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I'm just confused about the fact that you invite someone somewhere but have them pay.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 2 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:30 am I'm just confused about the fact that you invite someone somewhere but have them pay.
That is the norm in our friend group for big things.
Anonymous 3

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:36 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:30 am I'm just confused about the fact that you invite someone somewhere but have them pay.
That is the norm in our friend group for big things.
It's the norm in our friend group too. Parents often pay for the entry fee and then the "host" pays for food and stuff. We actually just did that with my oldests bf and a concert we all just went to. We bought him a few shirts and food and drinks and other souvenirs but his mom paid for the actual concert ticket. So if she paid for the ticket then that's on her
Anonymous 4

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This has been done before.
Anonymous 5

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For big trips I could understand, but for a water park and theme park it seems a bit odd.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:36 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:30 am I'm just confused about the fact that you invite someone somewhere but have them pay.
That is the norm in our friend group for big things.
Anonymous 6

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She could send her kid independently and then won't lose the money for the tix. If you bump into him just say hi.
Anonymous 3

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Anonymous 5 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 10:27 am For big trips I could understand, but for a water park and theme park it seems a bit odd.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:36 am
Anonymous 2 wrote: Wed Jun 29, 2022 9:30 am I'm just confused about the fact that you invite someone somewhere but have them pay.
That is the norm in our friend group for big things.
That could be anywhere between $150-200 bucks for tickets to a theme park for 2 days and a water park for 1.
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