I just have to say this because it needs to be said

Anonymous 1

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When a woman is going through a breakup or having a hard time finding someone decent to spend their time with, it doesn't help when other women try to comfort them with "you don't need a man you got me/us".... because unless you have the body of a man, touch of a man, smell of a man, and the same appendage and muscular back of a man... you're not a good substitute (unless she's a lesbian or bi but not all of us are). And toys might be fun for a little while but its not the same :cry: .
Anonymous 2

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S*x is easy to find though, if that's all a woman is looking for. You don't really need a "decent" man for that.
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SouthernIslander
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Well they are right…you don’t need a man. How old are you?

I have been through some hellacious breakups in my life and I never take the friends who had my back for granted.

Not something I would complain about if I were you because a lot of “friends” would use it as an opportunity to try and kick you down.
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Traci_Momof2
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I know everyone is different. I know some people need that romantic intimacy that can't be given by friends & family, and they need it more than other people do.

But what the other women are saying is not entirely wrong either. I know multiple people who have wanted that long term romantic relationship, wanted to find a life partner, and never did. But their lives are not suffering for it. Some of them have more fulfilled lives than I do as a woman who's been married for 20+ years.
My sister wanted to find that right man and get married. She wanted a life partner to grow old with. But it never happened. She never had a long term romantic relationship and barely had any romantic relationships at all in her adulthood. When she turned 40 she had to come to terms with the fact that it may never happen. She had to allow herself to mourn the loss of that pictured future. But she's done that and her life as a single person is very fulfilled and joyous and she is not lonely. When I think of her and all she has in her life, it's hard to take what you are saying seriously.

Beyond true life needs such as food, water, safety, I think we need what we tell ourselves we need. And sometimes all it takes to fix a problem like this is a different outlook on life.
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Inmybizz
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Are you going through a breakup?
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I’ve had married people say jokingly I’m lucky because I can do what I want when I want. But I’ve never had anyone flat out say I don’t need a man. I will say I’d rather be alone than ever get into another bad or controlling relationship. Been there, done that, would rather have the toys.
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SouthernIslander
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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Wed Jun 22, 2022 7:41 pm I know everyone is different. I know some people need that romantic intimacy that can't be given by friends & family, and they need it more than other people do.

But what the other women are saying is not entirely wrong either. I know multiple people who have wanted that long term romantic relationship, wanted to find a life partner, and never did. But their lives are not suffering for it. Some of them have more fulfilled lives than I do as a woman who's been married for 20+ years.
My sister wanted to find that right man and get married. She wanted a life partner to grow old with. But it never happened. She never had a long term romantic relationship and barely had any romantic relationships at all in her adulthood. When she turned 40 she had to come to terms with the fact that it may never happen. She had to allow herself to mourn the loss of that pictured future. But she's done that and her life as a single person is very fulfilled and joyous and she is not lonely. When I think of her and all she has in her life, it's hard to take what you are saying seriously.

Beyond true life needs such as food, water, safety, I think we need what we tell ourselves we need. And sometimes all it takes to fix a problem like this is a different outlook on life.
That’s a really sweet story about your sister. I am so glad she found happiness.
Anonymous 3

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My mom told me a long time ago that women friends are better than any man. I strongly disagreed and that has not changed. If something happened to DH, I'd be done with romantic relationships and wouldn't go try to fill the void with friends.
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SisterSomeone
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I mean, what you do or don't find comforting is deeply personal, and if phrases like that don't do it for you then they don't and that's just it.

But personally, being reminded that I'm enough, that I've got their support and that I don't in fact need a man is probably the single best thing that a friend could say to me while I'm going through a breakup. That's the kind of affirmation I need to hear in that situation. I can find physical pleasure and S*x anywhere, but in my experience, good friends have been much harder to come by.
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