In order to end racism....

[Anonymous 1]

I grew up in a low income, single parent household too. I get it.

This concept always bugs me. As a white woman who was not born into any kind of financial privilege, I feel like this is a slap in the face to the kind of effort and achievements I have made in my life.

My mom didn't make a lot money. We didn't live in wealthy homes. I didn't have a lot of the things that my friends had. I grew up in small town school districts. My mom never paid for anything extra with school. Even my prom dresses were used and when I tried out for Freshman volleyball I borrowed someone else's shoes because I didn't have the right kind of sneakers.
I finished High School even though I didn't enjoy it. I had friends who dropped out and it would have been easy to do the same. But I finished because it was the right thing to do. I went on to college even though I didn't want to because I knew I wanted a good career. I applied for grants and loans and got through college on those. Zero money from parents. I wasn't liking college either but I pushed through and finished my 4 year degree because I knew it was the right thing to do.

I did not have the privilege of being raised by two parents. I did not have the privilege of inheriting any property or money or anything of the sort. Yet I've been a homeowner for 20 years. I've never been rolling in the dough but I've been comfortable.

I'm told I have this white privilege and have gotten further in life because of it. But I have yet to see just where my privilege is exactly. Because from where I'm sitting it's not so much about white privilege but rather economic privilege, which I didn't get to partake in. And you may say that there are a higher percentage of blacks in a low economic situation than there are whites, but what does that really mean? Is it really because the system is holding them back from doing better than their parents did? How exactly is it?

Because I did better than my parents, and I'm nothing special. I'm just an average Jane who didn't want to live the low income life my parents did. I wanted to do better. And I can't help but think that if I could do it, they can do it too. They just have to try.

It has nothing to do with not being willing to "bust your ass", it's about many people not being born into situations where they have any opportunity to "bust their ass." The kid who was born in a school district that is severely underfunded and overcrowded being they live in a low income neighborhood with low property taxes is not going to have the same shot at being accepted to those top universities as the kid born in the well funded school district whose parents can afford them every tutor and extra curricular that they would need.

For the same reason there are few qualified white men for these jobs. Not all that many people are willing to bust their asses getting multiple degrees from top schools to work 100 hours for years and years so they can one day, possibly, bring in a 7 figure income and work somewhat, but not substantially, fewer hours.

[Anonymous 1]

Judaism may be a race, but Israel is a country.

Israel isn’t a race... you do know that, right?

Trump should cut all funding for Black colleges and Israel?

That's debatable according to some. Besides Israel is so special, Trump gave it a key to the White House.

[Anonymous 8]

I am white. My 6 siblings and I grew up in household that had very little. Because we could not afford to pay, our Catholic school tuition was free. At that school 3 children (black siblings) also attended. 40 years after the fact, I am a successful stable contributing member of society. Two of the three black children who at the very least received the same education that I did and had a similar socioeconomic background as me never did anything with their very short lived lives. The 3rd black child went on to become a prominent attorney in my area. Sometimes, skin color has nothing to do with it and being determined to succeed has everything to do with it.

I didn't say anything about race in my post. I commented on her "bust their ass" comment. Going from poverty to wealthy is not a matter of how hard to you try for many people. That includes all races. However, the number of people of color who experience poverty is disproportionate due to our countries history of systematic racism. Saying "they just have to try" is a slap in the face to all of the black people who never had the choice to "try hard enough." It is not always that simple. I am not saying that you didn't work hard. But, you had opportunities that not everyone has. Some may come from race and others may come from other places not connected to race.
As for white privilege, privilege does not just mean money. Priviledge comes in many forms. White privilege means that a person of color can be born into a two person household, grow up in a mansion, go to an ivy league school, and still be treated differently by society.

This concept always bugs me. As a white woman who was not born into any kind of financial privilege, I feel like this is a slap in the face to the kind of effort and achievements I have made in my life.

My mom didn't make a lot money. We didn't live in wealthy homes. I didn't have a lot of the things that my friends had. I grew up in small town school districts. My mom never paid for anything extra with school. Even my prom dresses were used and when I tried out for Freshman volleyball I borrowed someone else's shoes because I didn't have the right kind of sneakers.
I finished High School even though I didn't enjoy it. I had friends who dropped out and it would have been easy to do the same. But I finished because it was the right thing to do. I went on to college even though I didn't want to because I knew I wanted a good career. I applied for grants and loans and got through college on those. Zero money from parents. I wasn't liking college either but I pushed through and finished my 4 year degree because I knew it was the right thing to do.

I did not have the privilege of being raised by two parents. I did not have the privilege of inheriting any property or money or anything of the sort. Yet I've been a homeowner for 20 years. I've never been rolling in the dough but I've been comfortable.

I'm told I have this white privilege and have gotten further in life because of it. But I have yet to see just where my privilege is exactly. Because from where I'm sitting it's not so much about white privilege but rather economic privilege, which I didn't get to partake in. And you may say that there are a higher percentage of blacks in a low economic situation than there are whites, but what does that really mean? Is it really because the system is holding them back from doing better than their parents did? How exactly is it?

Because I did better than my parents, and I'm nothing special. I'm just an average Jane who didn't want to live the low income life my parents did. I wanted to do better. And I can't help but think that if I could do it, they can do it too. They just have to try.

It has nothing to do with not being willing to "bust your ass", it's about many people not being born into situations where they have any opportunity to "bust their ass." The kid who was born in a school district that is severely underfunded and overcrowded being they live in a low income neighborhood with low property taxes is not going to have the same shot at being accepted to those top universities as the kid born in the well funded school district whose parents can afford them every tutor and extra curricular that they would need.

[Anonymous 1]

I’m only willing to have children with a man I trust, love, and respect. If people are having biracial kids, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume those folks aren’t racist.

And where is your logic there? Are you saying that if white people didn't beenit from racism, minorities wouldn't be allowed in the country or wouldn't be allowed to breed or something?

If minorities are the majority 20 years from now isn’t that pretty solid evidence that the majority of white people are not generally racist?

So what do you want to replace it with? In about 20 years, minorities will be in the majority anyway. So I guess white people can then finally take advantage of affirmative action.

[Anonymous 6]

I completely agree with you. When I started having children my priorities shifted. When that happened, my career trajectory evened out and men with no childcare responsibilities continued to advance. That’s not sexism, that’s understanding that I’m less valuable to an employer when I become unwilling to be available 24/7.

How do we not want equality?

Special treatment isn't equality. It's special treatment. The lawyer in the next desk books 80 hours a week for the firm. You work maybe 30 and end up ducking out to pick up your kids from school, leave work when they're sick. You think you deserve the same pay and same promotion. You don't. You're not putting in the same hours and you don't have the same output. You're not bringing the same value to the firm. You demand equality! You demand that you should have the same salary and same rank! If you get it, that's special, not equal, treatment. You aren't deserving. You're a quota.

That's exactly what's always aggravated me about all of the equality complaining. I'm all for equality when the effort is equal. To me that's just simple common sense.
What bothers me about women demanding special treatment is that just adds to the eye rolling from the others who are legitimately putting in the work.

[Anonymous 6]

What she outlined is affirmative action, which you seem to be arguing in favor of. So where exactly is the naivety and ignorance on her part?

There is a lot of naivety and ignorance in everything that you just said right there.

Actually, the non-white kid born in West Virginia to parents below the poverty line not only has a better chance of getting into Harvard or Yale than the rich, white New Yorker, but that kid will get to go there for free.....

The larger issue is that the kid from West Virginia is less likely to actually have the tools needed to succeed, and is more likely to drop out.

Regarding your busting your ass comment, if you bust your ass hard enough you will succeed. There are many, many examples of this. The fact is that most people reach an ass-busting limit (including me). I busted my ass and did very well until I had my first child. After that, my career became a lower priority and I was no longer willing to work all the time. I’m unwilling to outsource all of my childcare responsibilities, so I’m never going to be the CEO of BoA. I don’t have any issue with that.

It has nothing to do with not being willing to "bust your ass", it's about many people not being born into situations where they have any opportunity to "bust their ass." The kid who was born in a school district that is severely underfunded and overcrowded being they live in a low income neighborhood with low property taxes is not going to have the same shot at being accepted to those top universities as the kid born in the well funded school district whose parents can afford them every tutor and extra curricular that they would need.

[Anonymous 6]

That must be your privilege talking!

I’m only willing to have children with a man I trust, love, and respect. If people are having biracial kids, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume those folks aren’t racist.

And where is your logic there? Are you saying that if white people didn't beenit from racism, minorities wouldn't be allowed in the country or wouldn't be allowed to breed or something?

If minorities are the majority 20 years from now isn’t that pretty solid evidence that the majority of white people are not generally racist?

[Mamaof5]

Hard disagree.

[Anonymous 1]

Apparently equality to many means having the option to work less and still get paid more. It’s silly. If a woman has a great career she’s completely committed to, then she should seek a SAH husband, two nanny shifts, or two Au pairs.

I looked into all of these things and decided that me doing part time consulting was the best option for my family. Equality means expectations are the same for everyone.

I completely agree with you. When I started having children my priorities shifted. When that happened, my career trajectory evened out and men with no childcare responsibilities continued to advance. That’s not sexism, that’s understanding that I’m less valuable to an employer when I become unwilling to be available 24/7.

Special treatment isn't equality. It's special treatment. The lawyer in the next desk books 80 hours a week for the firm. You work maybe 30 and end up ducking out to pick up your kids from school, leave work when they're sick. You think you deserve the same pay and same promotion. You don't. You're not putting in the same hours and you don't have the same output. You're not bringing the same value to the firm. You demand equality! You demand that you should have the same salary and same rank! If you get it, that's special, not equal, treatment. You aren't deserving. You're a quota.

That's exactly what's always aggravated me about all of the equality complaining. I'm all for equality when the effort is equal. To me that's just simple common sense.
What bothers me about women demanding special treatment is that just adds to the eye rolling from the others who are legitimately putting in the work.

[Anonymous 1]

So you think that we should prioritize impoverished children based on their race?

Hard disagree.