Not talking to me. really?

Rebeccaraev2
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HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:11 am Sometimes sibling fights follow them into adulthood and they end up hating each other. Do you want to risk that?
msgme wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:46 am
HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:39 am I don't think you should stay out of the fight between your daughters. You're their mother and should encourage them to make up.
They have actually not spoken in a year. My younger dd believes my older dd was intimate with him last summer. She feels betrayed by her sister I've told them both i hope they can get past this but younger dd is no where near ready for it yet. hopefully with time it will get better but they are not 6. They have to work it out themselves.

Her young daughter was groomed, the sister seems to be okay with that and you’re more concerned that the fight can continue? It should. She’s siding with her sister’s perpetrator.
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msgme
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Olioxenfree wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:38 am So an adult man tried to solicit S*x and start a "relationship"with your twelve year old child,the camp knew about it and kept him employed and working with children,and you didn't do anything about it?
I knew nothing about it at the time. Last year I knew she had a crush but that was it. It wasn’t until she made the post and it went public that I found out about all of it.
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HaggardWitch
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Grooming? I think you're overreacting.
Rebeccaraev2 wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:08 pm
HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:11 am Sometimes sibling fights follow them into adulthood and they end up hating each other. Do you want to risk that?
msgme wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:46 am

They have actually not spoken in a year. My younger dd believes my older dd was intimate with him last summer. She feels betrayed by her sister I've told them both i hope they can get past this but younger dd is no where near ready for it yet. hopefully with time it will get better but they are not 6. They have to work it out themselves.

Her young daughter was groomed, the sister seems to be okay with that and you’re more concerned that the fight can continue? It should. She’s siding with her sister’s perpetrator.
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lauren08
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Wow, I can’t imagine. I would be extremely disappointed in my older daughter for siding with a predator over her own sister. If I was your younger daughter, I’d be incredibly pissed at her. I also would not want her to continue calling me to yell at me and place me in the middle of the situation. I would have immediately reported the boy when I found out. That’s disgusting that a 19 year old was harassing a 12 year old girl and trying to pursue a relationship with her. I’m sure your daughter is not the first, nor the last, so I’d have brought it to the attention of law enforcement to prevent other little girls from having to deal with him. Not to mention, he should’ve been fired immediately, not after a social media post and backlash.
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lauren08
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msgme wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:46 am
HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:39 am I don't think you should stay out of the fight between your daughters. You're their mother and should encourage them to make up.
They have actually not spoken in a year. My younger dd believes my older dd was intimate with him last summer. She feels betrayed by her sister I've told them both i hope they can get past this but younger dd is no where near ready for it yet. hopefully with time it will get better but they are not 6. They have to work it out themselves.
That would make me so sad if my daughters hadn’t spoken for that long. I don’t blame your younger DD at all for feeling betrayed. She has every right to feel that way.
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The bit about the 19 year old possibly having been involved with your younger daughter would concern me, too.

But also...the older sister KNEW that the young sister had a crush on the 19 year old. If I were the older sister and I knew my younger sister really liked a guy (EVEN IF THERE WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ANYTHING THAT BECAME OF THAT), I would have steered clear of that guy. If she had done that, there probably would be no issue except for what to do about the 19yo messing with or harassing the young sister.

So much is going on here, msgme. I don't know where to start. I don't know what I'd do about my 2 daughters not speaking with each other. I don't know if there's much one can do. If you haven't already, you might want to insert this statement into individual conversations with each of your daughters: "I know you're upset with your sister. And maybe you even have a right to be upset with her. But I want you to consider this:...There are a million boys on this earth but you only have 1 sister. Years from now, this boy will be a distant memory to both of you. And when that day rolls around, you'll either have your sister in your life or you won't. Are you willing to give up your sister over a BOY??? Don't answer that question. Just think about what I said."


msgme wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:37 pm
Olioxenfree wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:38 am So an adult man tried to solicit S*x and start a "relationship"with your twelve year old child,the camp knew about it and kept him employed and working with children,and you didn't do anything about it?
I knew nothing about it at the time. Last year I knew she had a crush but that was it. It wasn’t until she made the post and it went public that I found out about all of it.
Rebeccaraev2
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HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 3:23 pm Grooming? I think you're overreacting.
Rebeccaraev2 wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:08 pm
HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:11 am Sometimes sibling fights follow them into adulthood and they end up hating each other. Do you want to risk that?


Her young daughter was groomed, the sister seems to be okay with that and you’re more concerned that the fight can continue? It should. She’s siding with her sister’s perpetrator.
He was significantly older. It absolutely is. I think you’re ridiculous. Time to look at hard truths, not all family is worth a damn and who cares if they don’t talk into their future?
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I'd have chewed your older daughter out and told her she's misplaced her loyalties and is acting like a really shitty sister. That boy is a predator and preyed on her younger sister and she should be supporting her sister and not protecting a predator.
Olioxenfree
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HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 3:23 pm Grooming? I think you're overreacting.
Rebeccaraev2 wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:08 pm
HaggardWitch wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2020 11:11 am Sometimes sibling fights follow them into adulthood and they end up hating each other. Do you want to risk that?


Her young daughter was groomed, the sister seems to be okay with that and you’re more concerned that the fight can continue? It should. She’s siding with her sister’s perpetrator.
She was twelve and he was an adult and her counselor,that is one hundred percent grooming
wildflowers25
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The older girl and I would be having some very serious discussions about what the hell is wrong with her. Disappointed would not begin to cover it. She is siding with a predator. I doubt your younger daughter was the first girl he went after.
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