DH is actually angry that I won't homeschool my step kids

Anonymous 1

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He says it is unfair because I will be homeschooling DD. I told him there is no comparison. DD is 16 and my step kids are 7 and 8.

DD will be doing just about everything herself. I will mostly be there in case she needs help and to proctor some tests.

My step kids will need someone to sit down with them and help them through most assignments. The reality of the situation, they will need a lot of help and guidance.

DH asked if I would be okay homeschooling them and I told him no. I don't have the time and frankly I just don't want to. If my kids were younger I wouldn't be homeschooling them, I would hire someone to do it for me.

That is what I suggested. Hiring someone to come in and homeschool on our time. It could be a tutor or w college kid or even a SAHM, there are so many options.

Another option is sending them to BMs house during the school days for her to homeschool. She is going to be doing it on her time anyway and she offered. She thinks it would be best for one person to help them with school to provide consistency and I don't disagree with her.

DH is angry. He says that I should be willing to help out and that I am treating my step kids differently. I have already explained to him that he is off base with that thinking but he is still angry. I told him he needs to figure out something else.
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Dh is angry not bm. That's different.
I wouldn't want to homeschool either. Idk what I would've done last semester if my kids were little. I would have had to do it but I wouldnt have been happy and idc who knows it.
Anonymous 2

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That's unfair!
Anonymous 3

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He feels that he is lacking as a parent because he can’t provide the same as BM.
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Anonymous 3 wrote: Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:57 pm He feels that he is lacking as a parent because he can’t provide the same as BM.
Bingo!
Anonymous 4

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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:35 pm I don't have the time
How much are you earning, compared to how much he is earning? Could you-as-a-couple afford for him to take time off work to home school them?

Is their spending time with the birth mother going to have implications for custody, if BM later wants to go back to court to have an increased time allocation?
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 3 wrote: Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:57 pm He feels that he is lacking as a parent because he can’t provide the same as BM.
Eh I'm not sure about that. He provides more just in different ways.
Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 4 wrote: Wed Aug 05, 2020 9:11 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:35 pm I don't have the time
How much are you earning, compared to how much he is earning? Could you-as-a-couple afford for him to take time off work to home school them?

Is their spending time with the birth mother going to have implications for custody, if BM later wants to go back to court to have an increased time allocation?
I'm not sure what my income has to do with any of this. I am not suggesting he takes time off work. That wouldn't benefit anyone.

Spending time with their mom will not impact custody. They have always had 50/50 and neither one of them wants to change that.
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:35 pm He says it is unfair because I will be homeschooling DD. I told him there is no comparison. DD is 16 and my step kids are 7 and 8.

DD will be doing just about everything herself. I will mostly be there in case she needs help and to proctor some tests.

My step kids will need someone to sit down with them and help them through most assignments. The reality of the situation, they will need a lot of help and guidance.

DH asked if I would be okay homeschooling them and I told him no. I don't have the time and frankly I just don't want to. If my kids were younger I wouldn't be homeschooling them, I would hire someone to do it for me.

That is what I suggested. Hiring someone to come in and homeschool on our time. It could be a tutor or w college kid or even a SAHM, there are so many options.

Another option is sending them to BMs house during the school days for her to homeschool. She is going to be doing it on her time anyway and she offered. She thinks it would be best for one person to help them with school to provide consistency and I don't disagree with her.

DH is angry. He says that I should be willing to help out and that I am treating my step kids differently. I have already explained to him that he is off base with that thinking but he is still angry. I told him he needs to figure out something else.
Good luck!
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Who has spent the night crying.


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Anonymous 5

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Oh well. You’re right. The situation with your kid vs your step kids is entirely different- it’s not treating them “differently” or unfairly. Younger kids need way more one-on-one help and for you to be on top of their work and helping them a lot. Aka way more time consuming and intensive. Older kids are way less high maintenance and can do it independently without your constant help. How stupid for him to be upset about it. How can he not grasp something as simple as that? Baffling.
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