BM doesn't make sense

[Anonymous 2]

It sounds to me like she wants to be seen as "Mom" but doesn't want to put in the work that goes along with that.

Tough tiddly winks for her. It's a shame for your step son, though. Based on the stories you've shared over the years about your step kids and how you and your husband have handled things with them, I am confident that your step son will one day come to terms with how his mother is. The kid sounds like a good kid. And it sounds like he is blessed to have his father and you. Just keep loving him and ignore her.

[Tigress22304]

I do not have anything to do with her nor have had contact with her in years aside from when SD gave birth, I showed up to visit with Princess because SD wanted to introduce her daughter to Auntie and BM decided to ambush us-and was removed from SD's room.

That would be my precise advice, too. God love ya! I don't know how you've put up with this woman all these years.

She doesn't want the responsibility, she just wants people to feel sorry for her. She doesn't want her son around her, she doesn't even want to talk to him. I wouldn't tell her anything anymore. Just cut her out until she can stop acting like a child.

She won't stop,it's now to the point if she calls-I tell DH to ignore her.
let it go to VM and delete it without listening.

Hopefully he'll learn to listen.

[Tigress22304]

I will say this....the man she is currently with-nobody likes him.
As in not even his own kids.
he can't be trusted,he's shady AF.
he's got a long record

because of him BM has lost 2 homes 3 vehicles and he's the reason she left her kids.
There was a few interventions done to get her to leave him-SHE REFUSES TO DO SO.

It even got to the point I told her to come stay with us so she was safe. Instead of being grateful-she threatened to beat my ass and kill me in my sleep.

So if she is being abused-OH WELL. There's only so much we can do for her.
If she ends up dead,we already know where to look.

She has been told for the 10yrs they've been together to leave. She will not walk away.

I had a friend act like this and drop her kids off with their father. Everyone now assumes she was keeping them safe this way. She was so iffy and I was so confused. Turns out she was being abused and controlled by her partner but was afraid to say. Her interest was genuine, she just couldn’t keep it long because he’d find out. Sadly she passed away from injuries before that relationship with her kids could be fixed. Maybe dig deeper.

[Tigress22304]

That's what I told DH "you have your son, you dont need to discuss anything with her,she refuses to coparent or even PARENT. just block her and move on"

however he can not make that final cut.

She doesn't want the responsibility, she just wants people to feel sorry for her. She doesn't want her son around her, she doesn't even want to talk to him. I wouldn't tell her anything anymore. Just cut her out until she can stop acting like a child.

She won't stop,it's now to the point if she calls-I tell DH to ignore her.
let it go to VM and delete it without listening.

Hopefully he'll learn to listen.

I can't imagine not wanting to ever see my son. How does someone even think about that. It's so sad. Sounds like he's better off without her though. I hope your husband listens. Could always just block her number.

[Tigress22304]

There hasn't been contact between her and I in years. I refuse to allow to contact me.

And I did tell DH to stop catering to her-it's not his issue if she decides to ignore the school contact or if she told the school to remove her as parental contact.

She never did anything to keep DH in the loop about anything,he did it all on his own
She can do the same or choose to ignore it all.

If he is listed as school with dual sets of parents each parent gets a copy/text/email of grades and all other information.
You/your dh shouldn't have to be sending her anything so stop.
I would not engage in any conversation with her for any reason. I would block her calls/texts/emails. There would be absolutely no communication between myself and her..ever for any reason.
Your dh has the ability to do the same thing
Your ss is old enough to make his own decisions about how when and if he wants to continue any type of relationship with her.

IMO she is an attention seeker with serious mental issues.

[Tigress22304]

I wanna brag.... because of Covid-I ended up having to homeschool him last year....and man was it a battle. lol But then in June, we got notice that he passed...and was awarded his graduation sign I cried.
his final grades were the best I have seen in 5yrs....3As.2B and a C.
He was also awarded most improved student.

We did his graduation party because we celebrate all wins in this house....and I asked him what he wanted for his party...he had no clue because BM didn't do anything in regards of graduations other then a family dinner.

So we had a few options and we did a family BBQ-we got the special graduation cake and everything-he got presents and cash and he was like "I dont understand why I get all this stuff but I'm glad I have it!"

i told him this is what happens when you bust your butt,work hard and come out on top!
So now he's determined to go even further his freshman year.

And he wants to follow in my footsteps and join the culinary program at the local vocational school and move on from there.

I am one proud Momma let me tell you!

It sounds to me like she wants to seen as "Mom" but doesn't want to put in the work that goes along with that.

Tough tiddly winks for her. It's a shame for your step son, though. Based on the stories you've shared over the years about your step kids and how you and your husband have handled things with them, I am confident that your step son will one day come to terms with how his mother is. The kid sounds like a good kid. And it sounds like he is blessed to have his father and you. Just keep loving him and ignore her.

[Anonymous 2]

Tigress, that is so great! Thanks for sharing. You have earned bragging rights. I've always thought that you are so good with all your kids. I get the feeling that you don't take any crap from them but that you also would do anything for any one of them. Pat yourself on the back. You deserve to. And congrats to your stepson for working his tail off, doing so well, and graduating with such great grades! That's phenomenal!

I wanna brag.... because of Covid-I ended up having to homeschool him last year....and man was it a battle. lol But then in June, we got notice that he passed...and was awarded his graduation sign I cried.
his final grades were the best I have seen in 5yrs....3As.2B and a C.
He was also awarded most improved student.

We did his graduation party because we celebrate all wins in this house....and I asked him what he wanted for his party...he had no clue because BM didn't do anything in regards of graduations other then a family dinner.

So we had a few options and we did a family BBQ-we got the special graduation cake and everything-he got presents and cash and he was like "I dont understand why I get all this stuff but I'm glad I have it!"

i told him this is what happens when you bust your butt,work hard and come out on top!
So now he's determined to go even further his freshman year.

And he wants to follow in my footsteps and join the culinary program at the local vocational school and move on from there.

I am one proud Momma let me tell you!

It sounds to me like she wants to seen as "Mom" but doesn't want to put in the work that goes along with that.

Tough tiddly winks for her. It's a shame for your step son, though. Based on the stories you've shared over the years about your step kids and how you and your husband have handled things with them, I am confident that your step son will one day come to terms with how his mother is. The kid sounds like a good kid. And it sounds like he is blessed to have his father and you. Just keep loving him and ignore her.

[Valentina327]

Sounds like she needs to adjust her meds. Honestly she's got a huge victim complex.

[Tigress22304]

Sounds like she needs to adjust her meds. Honestly she's got a huge victim complex.

She refuses to take medication for any reason.

[Tigress22304]

I know I don't know all the answers...and I don't try to be perfect...most days I'm 76% sure I'm messing up....however I love these asshole children-especially my granddaughter who keeps me on my toes Princess adores her niece!

I do not take any crap from any of them-but they know why I'm strict. I'm not raising selfish bratty entitled heathens! I expect them to be fully functional adults...well I know Princess won't be a fully functional member of society....but just because she's handicapped doesn't mean she can be a brat.

And yes I do pay myself on the back because I battled a huge war this past year and I kicked ass hehehehe I won!
I have only 4yrs left of schooling with these kids....I wanna see them all graduate and do their absolute best.

Tigress, that is so great! Thanks for sharing. You have earned bragging rights. I've always thought that you are so good with all your kids. I get the feeling that you don't take any crap from them but that you also would do anything for any one of them. Pat yourself on the back. You deserve to. And congrats to your stepson for working his tail off, doing so well, and graduating with such great grades! That's phenomenal!

I wanna brag.... because of Covid-I ended up having to homeschool him last year....and man was it a battle. lol But then in June, we got notice that he passed...and was awarded his graduation sign I cried.
his final grades were the best I have seen in 5yrs....3As.2B and a C.
He was also awarded most improved student.

We did his graduation party because we celebrate all wins in this house....and I asked him what he wanted for his party...he had no clue because BM didn't do anything in regards of graduations other then a family dinner.

So we had a few options and we did a family BBQ-we got the special graduation cake and everything-he got presents and cash and he was like "I dont understand why I get all this stuff but I'm glad I have it!"

i told him this is what happens when you bust your butt,work hard and come out on top!
So now he's determined to go even further his freshman year.

And he wants to follow in my footsteps and join the culinary program at the local vocational school and move on from there.

I am one proud Momma let me tell you!

It sounds to me like she wants to seen as "Mom" but doesn't want to put in the work that goes along with that.

Tough tiddly winks for her. It's a shame for your step son, though. Based on the stories you've shared over the years about your step kids and how you and your husband have handled things with them, I am confident that your step son will one day come to terms with how his mother is. The kid sounds like a good kid. And it sounds like he is blessed to have his father and you. Just keep loving him and ignore her.