I'm moving back home

Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 7 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 6:42 pm This is one of those topics where if it had been the husband who had moved for his wife's job and was unhappy and decided he was moving back home you all would have bashed him and called him horrible names.
I love this site, it makes me laugh every single day. Thank you.

OP, you do what is best for you. I think you've put your children in a horrible no win situation. You've now made them choose between their mom and dad. And I find that reprehensible.
They had a choice to move with us or not in the first place. Now they can move back if they want and live in the house since we are taking it off the market.
Anonymous 1

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Momto2boys973 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 5:11 pm I could never be happy being away from my husband and kids. I can’t think of anything that could make me more miserable. I get pretty depressed when my oldest goes away to school, even though I know it’s great for him. But to each their own. We all have different priorities. Hope it works out for you.
My kids are older and my oldest two are already on their own. Being away from them doesn't make me miserable. You need to get that attitude fixed before college.
Anonymous 8

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Oh, gosh! I'm envious! I love Colorado!
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 9:19 pm We are from Colorado. There was never a time where I was cooped up inside for months at a time. It was rare for weather to be bad for more than 1-2 days at a time and even then we could go snow mobiling or skiing.
I thought I might like it in Arizona for all the good reasons you listed but I just don't. I hate it.
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 4:33 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:33 pm DH got a job in Arizona. We moved here 10 months ago. I hate it. I tried to be open minded. I tried to like it but I just don't. It is so hot all the time. Even the pool sucks because it is just like hot bath water. I tried hiking several times but even if you go at the crack of dawn it is too hot. I'm not much of an indoor person. I thrive outdoors. Now I feel trapped inside. I am so unhappy. I have never been so depressed in my life. I honestly hate it here.

I have talked to DH so many times about it. We have tried to find a solution and things that I can like about it here but it has been unsuccessful.

I made the decision to move back home. I just can't take it anymore. Our house never sold so I don't have to look for a place to live. The kids can either stay or go with me. DH is not okay with my decision. He says that I can't just decide to leave. I told him that I gave it a shot and it didn't work out. Not all moves work out. I gave it a good shot and tried my hardest. I am not going to remain unhappy. I'm not saying he has to leave but I'm not staying.
So where is "back home"? Wondering for climate.

We moved to Arizona 5 years ago from Minnesota. Talk about climate shock. But you really just have to reverse your thinking. In Arizona, it's a few months in the summer that you have to stay cooped up inside. Then the rest of the year is beautiful for doing outdoors things. We get about 8 or 9 months out of the year that we can do hiking, biking, sitting in the backyard, grilling outside, etc. But July definitely is NOT the time to do hiking etc.

But in Minnesota, we had about 4 or 5 months out of the year that we were cooped up inside because it was too damn fricken cold. It was just the opposite end of the year that we were inside. And I would much rather be cooped up when it's hot out than cooped up when it's cold out. We have an inground pool here in AZ. The water temp tops out at about 92F. No, it's not cool but it's not hot bath water either. It's warmish but still does the trick on a hot day. And if you go in the pool after dark, and get out wet in the dark night air, it actually feels cold. It's the strangest thing, the air temp can still be 100F but wet skin in the dark feels cold.

I mean, I don't know, I know everyone's different, but from my perspective you really haven't given it a try. Especially if you've only been here 10 months.
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mcginnisc
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I felt like that when DH joined the AF and he got stationed in ND. We are from Atlanta so it was serious culture shock for both of us at first. I loathed it with every fiber of my being. It was isolated, too rural for this city gal, very little to do, winter lasted 8 months and it was just too cold. I stuck it out for 4 years, looked at him and told him that I hoped he was separating as I was going back south with him or without him and I really hoped it was with him. Thankfully, he did plan on separating and after the Kosovo incident that stop-lossed everyone in the military at the time, we moved quickly back south.
I don't know if I could move away from him just because I was unhappy..add in the kids possibly staying and me not seeing them and I'd just have to stay.
Claire
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Anonymous 9

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Good luck with the divorce. You sound extremely selfish
Anonymous 10

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So your house you used to live in has been on the market for the last 10 months and hasn't sold? You are doing something very wrong. Is it a shit hole... or?
Anonymous 11

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Anonymous 8 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:53 pm I can't help but to wonder if when drastic choices like these are made (despite a spouse expressing opposition to it), the marriage was already over.
Traci_Momof2 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 8:38 pm Me either. Personally I can't imagine leaving my husband and potentially my children (or taking my children away from their father) all for a better location. It's literally breaking up an entire family, just for location. Just doesn't compute for me.
Momto2boys973 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 7:09 pm You make good points. There is a double standard in this site for sure. Yeah, I can see everyone bashing the husband if it was the other way around. But somehow since it’s the woman it’s perfectly understandable.
I agree with what you say about the children. I would never put mine in that position myself.

Probably. I hated my area and stayed for my husband. I always told him one day I wanted to move somewhere else. The marriage started going sour I was like I'm out of here and he didn't try to keep me. I did need a better job but I was also fed up. When the marriage was good I could at least make the best of the area we were in. But there are some towns like Newark where I'd have to be marrying the man of my dreams to actually live there. also if the husband sees his wife is that miserable he could also compromise and find an area they both like.
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agander2017
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Yikes. I'm so sorry. I would never want to have to make that choice. Arizona is hot all of the time. It's never a fun place to live. I have family that has lived there for 10+ years, and they love it. I have a hard time even visiting. :( Good luck with your choices.
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