BM needs to realize she gave up control when she moved away

[Anonymous 1]

BM moved away a few months ago. She got a new job and a judge felt that uprooting the kids so they could move with her is not in their best interest.

It has been a big adjustment for everyone. The kids living here full time is a big change. We have been doing well on this side of things. BM has tried to be very controlling. At first I wrote it off as her being worried about the pandemic. Now it's clear that it isn't just about the pandemic and she just wants us to do everything the way she wants us to.

She sent me a list of haircuts for SD. She was pissed off when SD chose something else. She is pissed off that SS doesn't what his head shaved. She sent me a list of school supplies she wanted the kids to have. She sent me a list of clothes I should buy them. She even sent me the exact shoes she wanted them to wear. That wouldn't bother me as much if she didn't get mad when we didn't get exactly what she wanted.

She is trying to control who picks the kids up from school. She is trying to control what classes they are taking. She is trying to control what lunch plans they have. Moving away doesn't mean she suddenly has no input in what is going on but it does mean that she has less control over the day to day things. She flipped out when SD got her backpack in a green color instead of a more neutral color! She never even tried to be so controlling when she lived here.

If she wanted to have control over all of these things she shouldn't have moved.

[carterscutie85]

She shouldn't have control over those things regardless. Sounds like my Mom. I wasn't allowed to cut my hair till I was 13 or pick out my own clothes till I was 14. I hated her for it.

[hotspice58]

How old are the kids? At some point, they need to make their own decisions.

[Anonymous 2]

Sounds like she misses her kids and is trying to grasp at what she can so she’s trying to control anything she can.

[Anonymous 1]

How old are the kids? At some point, they need to make their own decisions.

8, 10, and 12

[Anonymous 3]

That’s what happens when you choose a job over your kids. And yes I’d say the same if she were a man.

[Anonymous 4]

You don't care about her likes and dislikes so just move on.

[Anonymous 5]

Sounds like my mom.... a psycho control freak.

[Pjmm]

That’s what happens when you choose a job over your kids. And yes I’d say the same if she were a man.

Depends on why she took the job. It's not as if we have a normal economy these days and our wonderful government just ended the unemployment benefits. If she lived in, for example, Yeehaw Junction, Florida (where there's nothing) and had to move to West Palm Beach to make ends meet and provide for her kids then it is what it is. That's not to say she should be a controlling witch but as someone else said she could be taking this very hard.

[Lotus]

Play nice.