BM needs to realize she gave up control when she moved away

Anonymous 1

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Anonymous 6 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 3:34 pm
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 3:33 pm
Anonymous 6 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 3:31 pm

Helping? Read the OP again. Everything she says is BM sent ME this and ME that. Sounds more like a live in nanny.
I am currently the stay at home parent so of course I am handling the basics while DH is working
LOL. Like I said enjoy being his nanny.
Taking care of our kids doesn't make me a nanny hun. Things will go back to normal when I go back to work but for now I'm enjoying spending all the time with the kids.
Blue_Prelude
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I think she is being controlling, but I also wonder why she wouldn’t just buy the specific things she wants the kids to have and send them?
Anonymous 1

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Blue_Prelude wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 3:43 pm I think she is being controlling, but I also wonder why she wouldn’t just buy the specific things she wants the kids to have and send them?
That is what I was thinking....at least that would be a nice gesture.
hotspice58
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They’re old enough to make some decisions on their own.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:12 pm
hotspice58 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:08 pm How old are the kids? At some point, they need to make their own decisions.
8, 10, and 12
Anonymous 7

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None of the "specifics" that she wants are relevant enough for me to care. I'd tell her to send her communications to your husband and then, between you and him, I'd get what the kids need for school. When the kids are with her, she takes care of things. When the kids are with dad and stepmom, dad & stepmom take care of things. Easy peasy.
Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 12:59 pm
She sent me a list of:
haircuts for SD
school supplies
clothes....and the exact shoes she wanted

She is trying to control:
who picks the kids up from school
what classes they are taking
what lunch plans they have
and...the color of SD's backpack
Pjmm
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Traci_Momof2 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 3:07 pm
Pjmm wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 2:53 pm
Anonymous 3 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:18 pm That’s what happens when you choose a job over your kids. And yes I’d say the same if she were a man.
Depends on why she took the job. It's not as if we have a normal economy these days and our wonderful government just ended the unemployment benefits. If she lived in, for example, Yeehaw Junction, Florida (where there's nothing) and had to move to West Palm Beach to make ends meet and provide for her kids then it is what it is. That's not to say she should be a controlling witch but as someone else said she could be taking this very hard.
And if that's the case, that she essentially had to take the job, it would be nice if they could be sympathetic towards her feelings on the whole thing.

But regardless of reason, she needs to come to terms with the fact that it is what it is and she is no longer involved in the nitty gritty of day to day with her kids. And that's on her to figure out. The other's don't need to accommodate her while she gets a grip.
She shouldn't be controlling. But anon 3 said she loses control. Yes but sometimes there's good reason to take a job in another city.
Anonymous 8

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Changes happen.

Just because she moved away and couldn't take her kids because the judge made the determinations doesn't mean she should lose ALL control over her children. They are still her children.
Some of those things she should be talking directly to her children about.

Just another drama seeking post
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Anonymous 1 wrote: Tue Aug 04, 2020 12:59 pm BM moved away a few months ago. She got a new job and a judge felt that uprooting the kids so they could move with her is not in their best interest.

It has been a big adjustment for everyone. The kids living here full time is a big change. We have been doing well on this side of things. BM has tried to be very controlling. At first I wrote it off as her being worried about the pandemic. Now it's clear that it isn't just about the pandemic and she just wants us to do everything the way she wants us to.

She sent me a list of haircuts for SD. She was pissed off when SD chose something else. She is pissed off that SS doesn't what his head shaved. She sent me a list of school supplies she wanted the kids to have. She sent me a list of clothes I should buy them. She even sent me the exact shoes she wanted them to wear. That wouldn't bother me as much if she didn't get mad when we didn't get exactly what she wanted.

She is trying to control who picks the kids up from school. She is trying to control what classes they are taking. She is trying to control what lunch plans they have. Moving away doesn't mean she suddenly has no input in what is going on but it does mean that she has less control over the day to day things. She flipped out when SD got her backpack in a green color instead of a more neutral color! She never even tried to be so controlling when she lived here.

If she wanted to have control over all of these things she shouldn't have moved.
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